My husband had a stroke in June 2024 , in the medulla he’s recovered extremely well but recently he says I’m not listening but he’s not actually said things , so he may be relating something to me but misses out chunks of information so I find it hard to follow what he means. , he gets really cross when I keep questioning what he means and he says I don’t listen or I don’t believe him … he is totally unaware he hasn’t given the information, can anyone suggest how to handle this ? . I say things like I don’t understand, I’m not following , I’ve also repeated back what he has said. But that just makes him very cross. …
ironically I’m a SLT. ! What h makes it even harder
4 Likes
Sorry, OP, this sounds stressful for you. And I’m sorry that your hubby had a stroke 
It is tough for all involved.
Can you request a speech and language assessment via his GP, or a referral to his neurologist? They may be able to talk to your husband about the issue so he can get the therapy he may need and you can have the reassurance that an expert has (hopefully) identified the issue.
2 Likes
Hi, so sorry to hear of your husband’s stroke and the struggles you are facing. Stroke affects the whole family and stroke recovery is a long, tough journey for everyone.
I would start with your husband’s GP, if they can’t help, hopefully they will point you in the right direction.
I hope you find the right help for your husband soon.
Regards Sue
2 Likes
Hi @Sjill
Welcome to the community that uses this forum 
I tried to say hello earlier but it seems the forum software was in read-only mode - very strange
It’s hard for us to be specific when we don’t know personalities. The effects you describe are not a surprise. It don’t recall the exact same in other posts that touch on similar effects, I do recall many with peripheral mention of.
The general topics of “cross”, angry, argumentative, personality change, etal are here and discoverable with the magnifying glass icon at the top of the page. If you search find some that sound more but you can refine the search I including the authors @ name in the search bar or by going to their profile and accessing their posts from the list.
This may be a case where a third party will be seen as more believable? It hints at disruptions to executive network and following through ordered sequences of thought into language. A nuro psychologist or similar specialist may help to clinically diagnose. I remember tests where I was given a story and then had to relate it back to confirm the degree of ability to sequence and explain - zero use for addressing the issue but it did put a name and a numbered score to post stroke capability (and not having a score for BS[1] was equally isolated in meaning )
There are many sorts of aphasia such as Wernicke’s aphasia, Anomic, Expressive etal.
James Major[2] at Aphasia Support maybe able to sign post diagnosis and treatment paths https://aphasiasupport.org/ and 01924 562443
Caio
Simon
Ps
Of possibly marginal use the following two links may be useful
2 Likes
Hi @Sjill and welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your husbands stroke & your subsequent issues.
I think a GP visit may be a good place to start or a stroke team appointment. Maybe if someone else explains to him what’s happening he might accept it easier. It must be as frustrating for him as it is for you. Have yoy looked at the stroke association leaflets? Maybe there is one in there that covers it which he could read?
https://www.stroke.org.uk/our-publications
Also give their helpline a call they can hopefully offer some advice.
0303 3033 100
Best wishes
Ann
1 Like
Hi @Sjill
Welcome to the community. I’m sorry to hear about your husbands stroke and the difficulties you’re going through.
I hope the advice that has been given by the community has been helpful for you. Please do use the magnifying glass to search for more conversations that may be able to help you.
If you need anything whilst you’re on here, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol.
Anna
1 Like
Just a passing thought so I don’t expect your to take this as any kind of advice but ‘‘fi you recorded what he say’s’’ then listen to is YOURSELF, maybe ‘‘if he HEARD it’’ he might understand. It might be something you prepare him for first though. Like I say it ''just a psssing thought…
2 Likes
Ok I can understand this. My wife often says what are you saying, start at beginning. I then realised often what I think I’ve said I haven’t. This took a bit of getting use too. I’d be looking out window at garden , thought I’d made perfect sense,taking about the composter, but it was an imaginary speech. My wife would say I don’t understand what you’re saying, start from the beginning. So assume your husband suffers the same as me but more severe. We have come to terms with it. “ I can’t understand what your saying can you start from begin, slowly
1 Like
Hi there,
Sorry to hear your tail of woe, but it sounds like a classic case of the person who has had the stroke not being believed. It honestly sounds like you are trying to set the narrative because you know best.While I appreciate that those of us can be frustrating- at times , you’ll never really understand quite how frustrating the whole shooting match is for your husband. have you thought of a slightly warmer approach like ‘hey darling, I’m really sorry that i didn’t x or y but i missed what you said’ or ‘hey babe. can you write things down for me so i fully understand what you mean?’
i honestly hope you are able to resolve your differences with your husband.
1 Like