Normal for nursing homes?

Well its been almost a year since SIL’s stroke, and nothing much has changed. We spoke to her GP a few weeks ago and he says she won’t recover any movement and the paralysis will remain as it is down her left side. She doesn’t like getting out of her bed, and so stays in her room and doesn’t really interact with the other residents. The GP said he would investigate incontinence support, but the home tell us they have removed her catheter as it was causing her too much discomfort, and the GP is unable to prescribe cream for skin care ( she is doubly incontinent and the home ask us to provide E45 cream for her) and the only care for the incontinence is £5 a week towards personal pads and not the bed type which we have to supply. Does anyone else have the same issues with their home? She is happy with the staff, there is no point moving her to a home with more activities as I think her memory loss makes it difficult to join in with other things even if she was inclined to. The staff at the home are brilliant, we have no complaints, and I know that they are all seriously underfunded, but paying £5800 a month for care, even with the nursing contribution and higher rate attendance allowance is really a huge amount to cover. I don’t mind purchasing all her personal needs, shampoo, shower gel, hand cream etc etc but you would think pads and body emollient would be on prescription. Is this a county decision, or does it happen everywhere in the country?


Hi, sorry to hear you are having to deal with these issues . My mum 84, was a resident in a residential home (not stroke related, she had Alzheimer’s) and despite paying £4,500 per month in fees we were expected to provide toiletries. When things got bad and mum was bedridden and doubly incontinent, the home provided adult pull up incontinent pads and cream for her sores as mum would not keep normal pads on and constantly removed them. They also supplied a hospital bed, as requested by the district nurse, at no cost to us.

I think it depends on your local authority as to who pays for what. Ten months before mum passed away she was placed on End of Life care and therefore qualified for Continuing Care funding.

It’s definitely a minefield trying to get the financial help you are entitled to. Fortunately for us, the staff at the home were very helpful and informative.

If your SIL is happy where she is, it would be such a shame to move her. I hope you get things sorted out soon. It’s such a worrying time for you and your family, when all you want is for her to be happy, safe and well cared for.

Regards Sue


I’m not sure if it is different around the country but I know my dad’s pads were supplied free of charge. Mum just phoned a number and they sent them out. He was being cared for at uome rather than in a home though & they were on benefits so not sure if that makes a difference too.

It might be worth a call to Adult Social Care or similar to see what help you can get.

Sorry that’s probably not much help.

Best wishes



When my father-in-law went into care my m-i-l had to provide toiletries too. His incontinent pads were provided for by SS and delivered to his wife who had to take them into him at the care home. Every local authority seems to do things differently :roll_eyes: