Hello Lucille - OK. Thank you for the response and I appreciate you have been a terrible time over the last 10 months or so and you have been putting on a brave front and getting on with it to get things done. So well done on that - it is incredibly amazing what you have done on your own
Before we go any further, now that you have reached out, please take some time to take in a few deep breaths, sit back and be nice to yourself. Do something nice just for you - you deserve it and I am sure your Mum would want you to do the same. That is your first task
Let’s see what else can be done to bring you out of your dark place.
Your Mum is in a care home right now and so hopefully she is being well looked after. How is her condition? Is she able to communicate well? Is she mobile?
With her being in a care home, there is a good opportunity for you to recharge your batteries. Take some time out, knowing Mum is being well looked after. Like I said, just do whatever you need to to treat yourself and maybe get things done that have taken the back burner over the last 10 months.
Maybe you can go back to Italy for a week to spend time with your family - discuss possibilities to get help to care for Mum?
Are you in touch with Social Services?
You should register yourself as a carer (with your GP) if you have not already done so.
Also as sole carer you might be able to get some respite relief from social services. This will help you get some “me” time. Also it would give Mum someone else she can interact with.
For Mum maybe you can join some clubs - Lorriane @EmeraldEyes has sent you some links to carers etc in Devon and you will likely find other support groups on social media etc. (Ann @Mrs5K mentioned Different Strokes and Facebook).
Big Question:
Has Mum’s Care needs been assessed and has a care plan been devised? How is she going to be cared for once the home has been adapted?
Clearly some thinking has taken place whereby home adaptation needs have been identified and are taking place.
How is Mum going to be cared for?
Has your situation and your role as carer been considered - if you are going to complete your studies in September, who will look after Mum?
How does Mum feel about all this?
How aware is she?
How is SHE coping with being a stroke survivor?
There is no rush (I believe) for anything right now. But what I think is not necessarily what you or others might think.
You have already sacrificed a lot and may have to sacrifice more. Is this something you can do or is there a need to find other ways to support you and your Mum?
You’ve started the ball rolling and there is much help out there and solutions can be found.
Perhaps, you should take some time out, think about exactly what you want to happen next.
Sit with your Mum and discuss the situation and find out what Mum would like the next steps to be.
Put it all together and see if/how this can be achieved.
Hopefully, you are now starting to feel better. There is light at the end of the tunnel and there is definitely life after stroke as has been proven by many on this forum and this wonderful community of stroke survivors and carers and health professionals.
Please do not hesitate to come back (after you’ve taken that well deserved rest and treated yourself).
