New stroke victim

Hello, my name is christine and I had a stroke three weeks ago and it's left me feeling really scared and alone.

Dear Christine

So sorry to learn of the stroke that bit you.

You will be very vulnerable for the first month,  soon you will start to push past that first milestone. 

Your brain did not like a stroke so it is now preparing to avoid another stroke at all costs. One thing it will do is to ring alarm bells, which will in turn frighten you.

Many of us are scared to go to the location where the stroke happened, in my case my bed, and emotions would flow just to go to my bedroom. I also didnt like darkness, so I simply slept with a light on for many weeks.

I recommend the stroke association leaflets. So much information. They may have a "stroke information pack" that they can send to you. 

I am afraid that loneliness is a big feature of stroke. In a flash we lose so much and that often includes friends and families. I reckon generaly people can not cope with someone who had a stroke. Maybe OK for six weeks, but then very few want to know.

Your local stroke group will be a boost, perhaps a bit early at the moment, but you might contact them with a view to going to them in a few weeks.

Only another stroke survivor understands what you are going through.

Lots of us are here for you.

I am 41 months and i do OK.

Thjings will improve, but its so slow.

I have read thousands of posts and those SS who are positive are the ones that recover. So be positive.

Smile a lot. Please take this smile adivise, it does work. It can be a false, fake or fored smile but itwill work.

And do drink lots of water.

Come back and ask anything. Someone usually can give you ideas.

Are you home ? Do you have any NHS help?

Best wishes


Welcome Christine. Colin, As always, has given you excellent advice. At three weeks, I was equally scared and the future looked black. Some friends were stalwarts, but others chose ‘not to know’ or ignored me. For a short while, I thought death might be preferable to surviving and sleep seemed to elude me. 

Like Colin, I am now 39 months post stroke and life is better, but different. I cannot do as much as I did but am grateful to be able to do what I do. I also still suffer from post stroke fatigue and that means an hour in bed every lunch time.

Early on, I decided to fight every inch of the way to improve my life. I can now walk better, go to exercise classes and enjoy cooking. Even now, friends and others have a limited understanding of stroke and I get questions like, ‘What’s wrong with your hip?’ Or comments like ‘You’re looking well.’

Fortunately, I have a partner who is a great help to me And adaptations to the house like an extra stair rail and a seat in the shower are a great help to me. My speech was not affected by my stroke and I still have a sense of humour. Things do get better, but it is a tough journey. Finally, I never use the expression ‘stroke victim’. I am a stroke survivor. Many are not.

As always John. You are inspirational. I get a huge amount of comfort from your postings.


Thank you so much for your reply,it's really nice to talk to someone else that actually understands,I don't have a partner but I do have two lush dogs and I'm so thankful for them,is early days for me my emotions all over the place you know the one crying one minute trying to smile the next and sleeping the nextam terrified most of the time but I don't know why???thank you for talking to me

Hello Colin thank you for reply,yes I'm at home with my two dogs and cares coming in four times a day ,apart from my dogs I live on my own,I will keep in mind what you said about the smile but at minute tears keep Rowling down my face then am fine again sorry for being sad not normally like this 

Its the stroke that causes tears. I never cried (male thing) then stroke and now I cry.

At about three weeks I decided I owuld make tea for me and my better half. Very pleased I managed to make the tea. But then when Itried to carry the little tray I dropped the teas. I sobbed for thirty minutes.

I am no much improved on the emotionality and am now hoping to complete that part of recovery by attending a funeral.

Please fit in the smiles. It is apparently a medical fact that a smile will alter your brain. So when the tears relent please smile. It really does work.

I bet your dogs accept you and dont mind that you had a stroke. I love my cat beyond all reason. He came along and adopted us when I was about 20 months post stroke. He accepts me as I am. I adore him. First pet ever.

best wishes





Thank you Colin. I get the same from your posts. I do think that only survivors fully understand one another. I think I have done reasonably well post stroke, but to do well you have to have determination and be prepared for a hard slog. Like you, the fatigue is the one thing I could do without, but it has to be coped with like everything else. I also have to keep working on my walking. It isn’t too bad but there is still room for improvement.

My wonky hand is still the bane of my life. Last night I used it to steady cutlery from the draining board to the drawer. It promptly jerked and made me stab my palm with a small kitchen knife. I swore and reacted by throwing the cutlery in the air. Small cut but no major injury!

Hi Colin,

Thanks for getting back to me,well I did have a laugh today I made my self a salad in a fashion was putting the lettuce back in fridge, trying to use my weak arm anyway nearly got t fridge droped the flipping lettuce in the dogs water dish urrr

Pretty standard behaviour for an SS.Some of us forget we even have a fridge etc. Hope the dogs like lettuce.

Its wet and cool here. So i had the chance to sit indoors with my cat.

He really does help me through the day.



Hi Christine sorry to hear  you had a brain defuse like the rest of us please don’t be scared we are all in the same boat we all get scared of what might be around the corner we all have to re-evaluate the new us we all have the same thoughts what we could do and now can’t if you’re feeling down please speak to your GP or  Stroke Nurse you’re not better off not being here you couldn’t possibly leave the rest of us S.S’s to deal with life Post S.S. On our own we need to stick together try to find something new to get excited about good luck girl please stay possitive 

?Cat’s ? dog’s they are all little souls from heaven to brighten up our dark days I have 3 little dogs all with such happy funny characters ??they keep me wanting to go on?lots of love everyone 

?Cat’s ? dog’s they are all little souls from heaven to brighten up our dark days I have 3 little dogs all with such happy funny characters ??they keep me wanting to go on?lots of love everyone 

Hi Christine,

I had a stroke 6 weeks ago and am still waiting to see the Stroke consultant to tell me what happens next. It's strange going from being in hospital having your BP checked every 2 hours, to sitting at home waiting, waiting, waiting for information.

I google stuff and scare myself stiff. I imagine the worst possible outcome with every possible explanation.

Outwardly I probably look ok. I have double vision and am dizzy, but inside I'm a wreck.

The stroke association have arranged for someone to come and see me at home next week because I contacted my local group and told them how desperate I felt. 

I feel alone too, and scared. Not for me, but for my kids  I don't want to say goodbye to them, but wonder if I'm going to be a burden to them and ruin their lives 

I'm hoping appointments will start arriving soon. I need information so I can stop these black.thoughts and deal with the real issues, not just the imaginary.

I hope you get some comfort from the stroke association. They seem to be the most promising support available at the moment. The NHS is just so stretched. 



HI Christine, welcome aboard your new journey.  My stroke was almost 2 years ago, and as the others have we are all here for you.  I was out with my little grandson and thankfully his other grandma.  Now I find I am unable to take him out on my own anymore just in case, he is autistic and would not be able to cope.  I do not think there is a stroke survivor out there who is not still scared at some time or other, but the frequency does lesson.  Contact the Stroke Association helpline, who will get someone to visit you, mine was an enormous help to me.  I have also been able to start back at my TA job only two 5 hour days after a year off but its all positive.

Everything takes time, I am starting swimming again this coming week, I used to do 60 lengths now I will be happy to achieve 1, you never know it might be 2, but with determination you can achieve again.  Its little steps each day.

Keep in touch.  Wendy

Dear Ftroup

After about 4 weeks the likelihood of another stroke has reduced a lot.

Its a standing joke amongst us longer term survivors that "we do look well".

Its the inside of us that is damaged not the outside. Plus, many of us spend much more time outside rather than in an office. Also the medication can often tan a bit.

Feeling alone is a common factor. Our brains have recieved a shock and so we are likely to feel isolated. Maybe even to the extent of having post traumatic shock disorder.

You will not be the same person as before stroke. Your brain will not work the same way so your not going to be the same. You are becoming a "new ftroup".

Your kids will have this new person to deal with. They might even suffer the loss of their old ftroup. None of this will ruin your childrens lives. So please think about how you are going to get yourself to where you want to be. Only you can effect this recovery. Support is great but unless you decide and act then you will go nowhere.

Very pleasing that you acknowledge the NHS is stretched so you can move forwrd with the minimum possible reliance on the NHS.

I set myself 20 goals to achieve. Then I worked away at achieving those 20 goals. I still have 1 goal that hasnt yet been attained. Things move so very slowly.

Many of us are here for you

You are not alone

Best wishes



Thank you so much for your support. It's good to know that there is help out there, and the stroke association have been great. X

Hello Christine, hope you are doing ok. Things can be scary, but we're all here to support each other