New on here looking for some advice

I'm new on here I've joined because my dad has had a big stroke last week and I just need to talk to someone who is going through the same thing I feel hopeless not being able to go and see him and I'm finding it hard to speak to someone about how my dad is really doing 

sorry to hear about your dads stroke, i take it no visitors allowed? Inwas allowed the same visitor but had to book your slot. Maybe ring the ward and speak to a stroke nurse or physio. We get assigned a little team for 6!weeks when we get out but start it of when in hospital. It’s hard not having visitors regularly as I wan confused as to what was being said and got it all wrong when I relaid it back to my partner. Hope your ok amd manage to see or speak to someone about your dad. 

Try not to panic.  At this point you really don't know the extent of your dad's  stroke injury.   It often takes quite a while to recuperate from a stroke, but with occupational and physical therapies and time, a person can come back from or improve upon the stroke damage.   I was totally paralyzed on my left side, and now I walk fine and play ukelele and piano.  So try to relax until you are able to find out more.   Then make sure he gets real rehabilitative care, not just custodial.  I had therapy 3 times daily in the hospital(including electro stimulation) and twice a week for months after coming home.  It is usually hard work coming back from a stroke, but it pays off.  Keep a positive attitude.  There is always hope.  I'll remember you and your dad in my prayers tonight.  Love, Jeannesmiley 

Hullo Hope, As advised please ring the stroke ward and ask to speak to the sister in charge, if possible, and try to get some understanding of what caused the stroke, how he has been affected and the prognosis. It is usual to stabilise any stroke patient before rehab can begin. My big stroke was five years ago and a small one last year that only affected my left hand fingers. The big stroke left me with left side weakness. Recovery is slow, but after 5;years, I can cook, bake, change a duvet and walk with a stick. Please pluck up the courage to find out more.

Hi hope sorry to hear about your dad people are saying ring the ward ask to make an appointment to see your dad and also ask to make appointment to speak to the doctor ,if you live far away from your dad you can ring the ward and set up a password so they can talk to you in depth about what's happening ...that's if you can't visit ...try and stay strong he's in the best place and they will be working with him for a recovery ...wish you the very best and to your dad ,take care ...pippy 

Sorry to hearu news.  Most hospital s now are letting in visitors it might be good to talk to the lead nurse on his ward. Also get in touch with your nearest stroke team there are there to help both the stroke person and there families all the best des

Sorry to read about yor dad's stroke. You should get a copy of a book called Had a stroke? what now? by Tom Balchin. It'll help you understand what's happened and what to expect.

Fingers crossed he will get better in time thank you for your advice 

Thank you I've been phoning every day I just feel sorry for him being there and not being able to see anyone I've tried to talk to him on the phone but he's not really talking he sounds confused I hope he gets better or at least if I can see him but they won't let anyone on the ward thank you for replying to me I will just have to keep my fingers crossed 

Hi you can ask the nursing staff to facetime your dad with their iPads they were doing it during covid and lockdown do can do it now ,that way you get to see your dad and him see you ..wishing him well ..pippy 

In the first days after stroke, I really did not want visitors. The staff were there and they understood what I was going through. Visitors hour was awful. I wanted all visitors to be quiet and leave. I explained this to my wife and so she would sit and read and go for coffee etc. That was good.

I was paralysed so sleep was what I needed and wanted. I recall trying to fight my pillows as I couldn't turn over or move at all.

so dont get too alarmed about leaving Dad in the ward. The staff will look after him. 

must be very hard for you.




Thank you Colin for putting abit of my mind at rest 

Oh will ask about that tomorrow fingers crossed they will do that that would be great ? 

Your welcome if they say no they don't have the equipment I know that other wards do have them so they can be borrowed as I've done it for families when they couldn't visit ..pippy x

When Dad becomes lucid do say hello to him, from me.

it may help you to know that stroke recovery is slow, very very slow. Stroke got me at age 68 and I expected it to be like all other illness and recovery to be, at worst, six weeks. So when six weeks came and went, I was so upset that I was not "better"

my Initial recovery was fast. I got substantial improvement in a few days. Home within a week. But that is not the norm. 


My dad is 62 thank you Colin for your reply's you have made me understand so much better more than what the nurses have gave me thank you 

The medical staff have to be very careful what they say. I had a stroke in 2016 and the staff could give an honest opinion back then.

if Dad is fairly fit then recovery should be ok. Slow but ok.

so much depends on how determined he is. No one can make him better. We can be supportive, but it's fundamentally down to him to want to recover.

many on this site have been through a stroke so we know what it's really like. It's hard for others to know what it's like.

when dad is discharged, the hospital will write to his GP giving their best shot at explaining Dads situation. He will be given a copy of this. It will tell him a lot.

the stroke, or stroking, only lasts a few hours or less. Then it's all about recovery. If he gets to the stroke unit within four hours they will give him stuff to reduce the stroking. I didn't get there within four hours, so the stroke was all over by the time the paramedics got to me. I was actually asleep.

there are three main types of stroke. 1) is transient. Defo not your Dad 2) is ischemic, like me, a clot in the brain and 3) is hemirage, ie. bleed on the brain. 

I was taken to Colchester hospital, which has an excellent stroke unit.I know that Harrow (Northwick park) has an excellent unit. Hope Dad is in one of  those. Others may well be excellent.

well that's too much info so I will close. Anything you want to know, just ask, several on here are very helpful and very knowledgeable.

best wishes