I spent the day tipping limestone chipping into the low spots on our driveway at my farm property where I had the stroke.
Such sadness seeing me so capable and so strong whereas now walking to the toilet is a very painful
This is an historical experience.
I could not do this now nor would
My son in picture is the support at the time.
It is good to look back but look around you now.
What makes you smile, what can you do, where can you go?
All life has limitations but it also has possibilities.
You will always make your future.
Make it good and make it strong.
It is “a big ask” (mon dieu – I hate that phrase)
but we can try our best.
I am so sorry you are feeling the loss after your stroke. It can be hard looking back at what we have lost and make you feel really sad.
I find it helps to focus and what I can still do, like being a good friend who listens, doing any small jobs I can manage myself. I have just learnt to crochet some simple poppies for the remembrance day.
You can still advise and guide the younger members of your family and oversee them doing things. The wisdom you have gained over your life is still there and can be passed on. I have found focusing on the little things I can do helps to relieve some of the sadness I feel at the things I can no longer do.
I try to feel gratitude for all the years of mobility I had and all the independance that they brought, and also to be grateful that despite having had cancer and a stroke I am still alive and can still contribute to the lives of those around me and society. I am not saying it is easy, it is definately not and some days I am more grateful than others.
Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to be a little sad but dont forget what you still have.
All the best.
Liz
All very true Lizzie22 I am cursed with a personality that means I hate to lose so the fight back is all consuming and old pictures and videos remind me of how good at being me I was the stroke me is nit me and until I’m in my happy place nothing else jmatters.
I did do some basic car checks with my middle son this morning which is more than if Kate so the will is there
Maybe I’m being too unrealistic in expecting more tha has happened after only five years down the track from a severe stroke , guess it’s somewhere in the future.
Aye, it’s a hard one to swallow. You tell the truth, and what the real struggle is all about. I try to keep myself busy, finding all kinds of therapies and solutions that make me feel better. Buy time, if you like.
We must remember our glass is half full, not half empty, and come to terms with things. The sooner we can do that, the sooner we can move on… and that’s more of a mental fight than a physical one. Though they probably follow each other.
But Mark, I’m not saying I’m different or any better than you. One trick I’m permanently locked into is tricking myself into thinking and believing I’m okay. Is it denial? Maybe, but it becomes my precious bubble, and has its own sort of happiness trapped in here with me. My wife helps a lot. So does my Bible group. Ultimately, we’re all in some prison, stroke or no-stroke. So it’s a state of mind, is what I’m saying.
Hang in there, bro
ciao, Roland
Hey Roland - I don’t see anything wrong with this.
I wouldn’t even call it tricking yourself - if you think and believe you are OK, then you are OK. Believing in yourself is half the battle is it not?
I am not a stroke survivor and so perhaps it is not fair for me to say this, but I’d like to think if I was a stroke survivor, I would think of it as any other ailment which you have to overcome. Yes, it may be harder and it may be more challenging, but nevertheless, it is something you can attempt to do.
Why think of it as a prison? As you say stroke or no-stroke, so why should you think of it as a prison?
Maybe I am being too naive. I mean no offence to stroke survivors, nor is it my intention to trivialise what a stroke survivor might be experiencing and that which a non-stroke survivor such as myself cannot possible understand.
Sure, it’s okay ; reality is what we think. It matters little if we are wrong. It’s our choice to believe in whatever we so wish to believe in.
We are all in prison in our human bodies. More so if we’ve had a stroke, but we all have limits. Some people are so overwhelmed by these limits that they develop mental problems, and imprison themselves within a perfectly healthy body. Freedom is an illusion… it matters not, just that we believe we are free.
As a stroke survivor our bodies are limited and reduced in capability ; but our mind does not have to reflect this. These are not trivial states of mind ; but a failing body does not mean a failing mind.
Woah, that sounds deep! ciao, R
Yes Roland very deep but I’m so glad I ca retreat into my mind and still have memories so ca relive my pre stroke life with no impairment.
I’m still carrying a stick for balance and left foot tripping and imagine I’m okay so that the stick doesn’t touch the ground but is there in the event I need to correct an issue whil walking in the house.
The reality is I need one but not using it as a third limb is not good for my right arm and mentally gives me the illusion I am walking normally.
bravo - I too, dabble with stick & without especially around the house
