My husband had a stroke on 4 January 2025. He came home on 2 April. We had carers for an hour a day to start with and decided we didn’t need them after six weeks.
Lately my husband has been getting more and more tired. This morning he got up, got dressed, went into the bathroom and decided that was enough and went back to bed. He did come out in the car with me yesterday and I did the shopping while he sat I the car.I have read the guide on post stroke fatigue and realise it is common and perhaps the trip out tired him out.
He has an appointment at the eye hospital this week and I am worried I won’t be able to get him ready for his 10.40am appointment time. We will need to leave home at about 9.00am so I will need to get him up at about 7.30am! I keep reminding him about the hospital trip but he forgets as his short term memory is not good (another thing that is normal).
Anyway, I feel better now having written this. I am keeping a daily journal. Sorry for the rant!
My wife had her “slight” stroke in early April, she also gets very tired, and a little confused, but all in all is doing rather well…she was always a bit stubborn, and shall we say a little “difficult” but since the stroke is somewhat worse…I guess we have to make allowances for them, but caring for a stroke survivor is certainly not easy…one of the things that we all take for granted, is that she has forgotten how to use the TV remote control, I have to show her how to use it every time…the things we do for love I guess…
Thanks for your reply. I actually have control of the remote now, something I never did! My husband tries to use his iPad but his vision is so bad since his stoke that, even with the font on extra large he can’t see it properly. It must be really frustrating. Maybe his appointment at the eye clinic next week will give us some hope.
No need to apologise, you can say anything here - we have all been through it as survivors or as carers. It is a good idea to keep a diary; hopefully you will look back in the future to see how far you have both come.
At least you know it’s all normal. It’s surprising how a simple drive out and back again takes so much out of you due to the over stimulation of the brain. He does have to subject himself to this stimulation in order to become used to it again. But it will take a lot out of him. He has to expose his senses to different levels of sound, visual stimulations, even scents such as: traffic noise, cars moving in all directions, people too, music, talking, shouting and crying, people moving in all directions, the scents of traffic fumes, perfumes, foods, different levels of lighting such as the daylight, traffic lights, blinking lights of cars - the constant change of them all.
It all has to be taken in and processed by a brain that is currently running at a reduced service. It has to do all this whilst at the same time mopping up, repair and relearn. It’s ability to multitask is strained
And when it all gets too much the best you can do is sit quietly for a while or take a nap
It can and does get better over time, it’s that in meantime you expose him as gradually as you can, in small doses. There are times that’s never going to be possible and for those days, you just try to aim for a quiet day for the following day or two. It’s all about good management of fatigue and the first thing being to recognise and accepted that this is a thing.
One of the disadvantages of managing fatigue is you get so used to the routine that you forget fatigue is even an issue. Until a day comes that you do something different and you’ve not prepared yourself for it; as I explained in the post below
I still have chronic fatigue after five years, I’m 49 but I have a small window of opportunity every day for cognitive energy. Your husband’s stroke was only five months ago, his brain is still repairing itself as best it can, much more patience and time is needed. He will manage his energy through ways he may discover himself as every brain is different. It’s about resetting the brain, not resting. Even if I think about what I have to do, my brain drains and I’m exhausted and I haven’t even gone to bed yet, I wake up exhausted because sleeping isn’t rest, it’s even more active than day time thinking (cognitively). There are useful methods for resetting the brain, it might be mind blanking, meditation, music, Mindfulness, &c.
Thank you for your response. It is interesting when you say you wake up exhausted. I suppose being the carer I can’t understand what it is like. My husband gets up, has a cup of tea downstairs and then goes to sleep again. I realise five months is not that long and it is going to take time, and the length of time is different for different people.
Hi Rups, Im the same nearly six years on. I had my stroke at 53 but I have now got used to that limited amount of time before my battery drains and fatigue hits. I can manage it now but early doors it was a real drag.
