Hello, group.
My husband suffered a severe ischemic stroke. He has been in the intensive care unit for almost two months. We are waiting for him to be transferred to a rehabilitation hospital.
He is still not responsive, although he opens his eyes and moves his hands.
What can I expect, or what should I not expect? He is 39 years old and has never been hospitalized for anything before.
I am very scared. How can I help him? What do I need to know?
Thank you!
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Let him know you love him and give him the time he will need to get his life back.
You are both going through a terrifying experience and will need to support one another in the best way you are able.
Reach out and you will find others who have been through this. You will discover you are not alone and there is reason for hope and a way to move towards something better.
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No one can tell you what will happen. All you can do is give your husband the best chance to recover. Recovery is possible even after the trauma of a major stroke. I was in a coma for 3 weeks. It took weeks after that before I could sit in a chair and months before I could move my leg. I have never recovered any use of my arm, but I now live on my own, I drive, I returned to work (now retired), I cook, gardenand enjoy life.
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@Aylin Hi & welcome to the community. Sorry to hear about your husbands stroke. It must be very difficult for you to see him in intensive care that long. It is difficult to say what you can expect as it is different for everyone. Recovery is often a ver long process though & you need to be prepared to be in it for the long haul. At the moment they will be treating the urgent things & rehab will start when he is starting to improve. In the meantime just keep talking to him, let him know you’re there & you love him.
Sending you both lots of positive thoughts.
Best wishes
Ann
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Sending you good wishes @Aylin . Every stroke is unique. Stay strong around him and show your unwavering support and love to him. My husband had a similar stroke out of the blue 14 months ago. Sending you Positive Thoughts.
Best Wishes
-Neha
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Hi @Aylin
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your husbands stroke. This must be a really difficult time for you.
It’s hard to know what you can expect at this time but perhaps a call to our Stroke Support Helpline:0303 3033 100 might help. They will have spoken to may people who are in a similar situation to yours and may be able to offer some advice for you.
As other have said, keep talking to your husband and offer him reassurances that you’re there for him.
I would also say, please make sure you look after yourself too, this is a really challenging time for you, so it’s OK to take a break when you need to.
Wishing you and your husband the best and please do keep us posted on his progress if you feel able to.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
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Hello @Aylin - welcome to this community.
I echo all that has been said in response to your post. The journey you are on with your husband is unique to you and how it turns out is not something that is [easily] predictable. We can learn from others’ experiences and from what the experts tell and oftentimes, these are even then, just guidelines.
From my own experiences and as far as I know nothing is set in concrete but what we do know is recoveries are made and they are made when the time is right for them.
Having a positive frame of mind, taking time to think and digest information before making decisions might be a good way to go. There are no rights or wrongs per say, you just have to look at your own situation and then decide the course of action.
Your husband is opening his eyes and moving his hands, but from what you are saying he is not yet responsive. Again, to echo other posters, keep talking to your husband, let him know you are there, tell him you love him and that you are there for him. Keep giving encouragement and try to see if there any communication you can establish.
You may already have been given tips on this by the care team looking after your husband, but the fact he opens his eyes can give an opportunity to communicate by getting him to blink his eyes once for “yes” and twice for “no” etc. Asking him Yes/No questions and encouraging him to blink might be a start. I would suggest that you should not worry or despair or have any negative thoughts if he does not follow your instructions - in that case, reassure him it is OK and that he should not worry. This is important as he will get some reassurance from that.
Explain he may be tired and needs rest and allow him time to rest.
Another thing that I would like to mention is physical contact. Hold your husband’s hands, let him know you are there. Gently stroke his face and his hair. Stroking his face and hair might be very soothing for him and for you too 
Try gently massaging his feet and his arms.
You may have seen already someone mention “Stroke Recovery is a marathon and not a sprint”. This is absolutely true and as we all know that when the London marathon takes place each year, many hundreds of runners take part and we all know that the elite finish the race early and then the others follow at their own pace often taking many more hours to finish the race, long after the elite have finished theirs. At the end of the day they ALL finish the race but they all do it at their own pace - this is Stroke Survival in a Nutshell.
Be patient, remain positive, find out as much as you can from the care team. This will help you plan for the ongoing care.
Give yourself time, look after yourself.
Based on personal experience, I would say that not every piece of advice or information, no matter who is giving it, should be taken at face value. Just as an example, what I am sharing with you is based on my experiences and my beliefs and whilst it may work for me, it may not work for you. We are all different after all.
In the same way the marathon runners could not have been told how long it will take them to finish the race, how they will feel during and after the race, whether they will pick up any injuries during the race and how long it will take them to recover from the race, the same applies to stroke recovery
Wishing you and your husband all the best.
Namaste|
Please note:
Aylin posted an update the initial post which you can find here.
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Aylin, My friend had a massive stroke and was in intensive care for 5 months, that was 3 years ago. He is now living a really good life . Keep talking to him , squeeze his hand, tell him you love him and encourage him to fight back. I hope to see a post with an update in the coming months. Take Care x
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