Hi I’m new to this forum my husband had a stroke in Feb it was touch and go at first he spent 12 weeks at are local hospital he had a left brain stroke so he has no feeling on his right side for a good few weeks he was struggling has he had a nose tube couldn’t speak well and had soft food glad to say tube came out and he is eating fine now. He has been moved to a rehab unit about 40 minutes from home and he has stood up and moving his right leg with help from physio also talking more and is making sense his arm still won’t move but he has feeling in it and has said the pain in his shoulder is awful he seems very tearful at the moment because he wants to come home I was told today we are having a social worker and have a meeting soon to put a package in place so he can come home he has made quite a bit of progress we’re we all understand him he knows who we are I was wondering if some one can tell me does the pain in the shoulder get better and also he will walk again has when I was talking to one of the team they said he will need care for life and he won’t walk I walked away thinking no way he wants to get better he has tried so hard to get we’re he is today has any carer been told this by nursing staff and the person has made a recovery I no it is possible I felt a little bit deflated when she said that but I no my husband he will keep fighting please tell me it does get better with time
@Mummydearest1956 welcome to the forum. Sorry your husband has had a stroke.
It sounds like he is making some good progress so far & there’s plenty of reason to hope he will continue to improve. It will take lots of hard work & patience but sounds like you’re up for the challenge.
Make sure you’ve got all the care he needs in place before he gets home.
Most of all look after yourself too. It’s really important.
Wishing you all the best.
Ann xx
Thank you loshy I no we can come through this but sometimes it is a bit of a struggle but with me and my children and family we will get there.
Yes I am making sure everything is in place for when my husband comes home I also no he will get better once he is back we’re he belongs with all are family and friends .
Hi @Mummydearest1956 and welcome to the forum. I’m sorry for you both having to go through. You both sound like you are fighters, stay strong and you both will get through this. The first 6mths he will experience his fastest recovery, after that it slows down, but it doesn’t stop there.
Medical staff will always give you the worst case scenario, in order to prepare you for the worst should it happen, he’s not out of the woods yet. And it could well be that he does still need a certain amount of care in one or two areas. How much depends on the strength of his will and determination as well as how much of the damage to his brain is recoverable, so it could take a good few years. There are people on here who’ve been through far worse, believe it or not, and they are pulling through and fighting back. But also his age and general health condition will factor in that.
He’s going to be tired an awful lot, 6mths of it at least, so don’t be too concerned about that it’s normal. He’ll need lots of rest/day time naps, plenty of good, healthy nutrition as recovery will no doubt sap every bit energy and nutrients he has in his body, give supplements if need be to top him up. The brain has a lot of healing and repair work going on all the time, so stay on top of that.
He is in shock so naturally he’s going to be tearful, let him cry if he has to, it’s better for him than bottling it up. It is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, for both of you! So cry together, laugh together, be frustrated together and celebrate every little achievement and success together. But most important of all keep talking to each other, don’t be afraid to discuss any bit of it with each other, the highs and the lows. It is a challenging time ahead for you both but there is hope for a good recovery.
You take care now and come back with any questions big or small or just to destress yourself any time. There’s always plenty of stroke survivors and carers on here to help or just listen. 
Thank you I will this site has been so supportive to me .
It does get better with time. you should get yourself a copy of a book called Had a stroke? what now? by Tom Balchin. It’ll help understand what’s happened and what to expect.
Hello mummy dearest,
I identify with much of what you say here, as I had a stroke last September. Re shoulder pain - I had really bad shoulder pain at first, and when I was in hospital. It has got better by itself, especsince I have been doing the passive exercises with my arm (which the physios showed us in hospital) and also since I have had a shoulder support, which keeps my arm lifted up, in the correct position. This came from the community physio. I have also got very fed up with the way nobody, of all the professionals, gives me any encouragement that things will get better. They just say Everyone is different, give I time etc. but equally well, they shouldn’t say that he won’t improve, as some people do! All the very best, and try to stay positive and hopeful, hard though it is. Wendyb1
This is really good advice, thank you! I wish someone had said this to me in the early days, it is how I am proceeding, and is the only way.
I sympathise with all you are going through. At least your husband wants to try to move. Keep that going. Motivation is key to the recovery. Motivate him to exercise and insist on physio coming to visit you at home once there. They only gave us a few weeks. A year later after trying for NHS we found an online source of videos and then paid for 1:1 zooms and once covid was over, we actually visited once a month. Motivating my husband to travel 18 miles there and 18 back was not easy as his hemianopeia made him frightened of being in the car. So after a good few months of him becoming a nervous wreck 4 days before travelling I had to give up. he has lost motivation. SO DO NOT let you husband lose motivation to improve. There are ways of re-training the brain to connect and let him walk well or move his arm. it takes a lot of time and effort. I’m afraid I failed here but you need not fail. Work on it now. I’m so please he wants to keep fighting to improve. Keep going. Get all the help you can too - badger the services until you get them. This forum may know more sources of help. I really don’t know about the shoulder pain but maybe exercises can help. Did he fall on the shoulder when he had the stroke? Physiotherapists could ask for an MRI to check it out. Try everything you can think of and from this forum there may be more responses. Bless you.
I am so sorry your husband lost motivation. It is hard to get it, and to keep it, but I have found being here quite helpful. I was somehow led here in some of my darkest days. I wonder if we can in some way help with his motivation? And for you, I hope you will continue to be here for support.
Thanks for the response. He isn’t interested in being on the forum here with me. I think this is more for my support than his. I appreciate how people like yourself do respond. I’m not sure how but just listening to my occasional down times is good. Thank you! Normally I’m quite upbeat but there are occasions I get fed up with having to toilet him, wash what were clean shorts/ T-shirts when the carers dressed him 2 hours previously. He is getting worse on keeping clean and it seems the valve on his bladder doesn’t work well at all nowadays. No doctor/ plumber seems to know how to improve that sort of valve!! So thanks for listening!
@AnneC we’re always here to listen if you need us to. Sometimes just putting your feelings down can make you feel better. I know it does me & i don’t always need a solution just a vent.
You’re doing an amazing job. You should be proud of yourself.
Best wishes
Ann xx