Hello everyone, my name is Anna (58) and I live in Norway. My husband, a fit and healthy 75 year old, had a severe right-sided ischemic stroke three weeks ago. Luckily I was at home and called for an ambulance immediately. A thrombectomy was performed and he has been in hospital since. He has dysphagia and dysartry but is alert and “himself”. He tried a little Sudoku yesterday and did well. He has a nasal feeding tube, but has soup and yoghurt as well. His left side is paralysed, and the doctor said last week that he didn’t think he would ever regain movement. Two days later he lifted his left leg! A small victory, and I am very happy about it. He will now be moved to a short-term rehab facility, where I know there is less physio and speech therapy, so I will probably have to pay for someone external to come in and work with him. His eyes need to be checked out as well. I am happy that the stroke didn’t ruin his language abilities, as my husband is a writer and literary editor and was working full time. He is my only family, and my anxiety is bad at night and in the early hours of the morning. I get up at five, trying to manage my nausea (caused by the anxiety) and eat just a little bit. I have lost ten pounds so far. It is so hard seeing him like this and my heart bleeds for him - he feels as if he has lost everything. He is on antidepressants now. I am happy I found this forum as there isn’t anything like this in Norway, but the Norwegian Stroke Association has a phone number I can call, which I will do. I would like to hear from people with similar experiences, and anything that can bring me hope would be very much appreciated!
Hi Anna,
Welcome it’s an amazing community on here surprising maybe as I’m sure none of us wanted to ever be here but I think some truly awesome people. At first you will feel hopeless but hopefully then acceptance and a realisation this is a new chapter of life with different possibilities and definitely challenges.
Everyone experiences this differently I can only speak for myself. You will read elsewhere on the forums that people improve sometimes slowly but sometimes a big change like your husbands leg. I think the doctor was very premature with his statement.
I’m sorry u r both on anti depressants but I can understand. I think if u r able can you both get outside for a bit even briefly? If not the day will come. Exercise as much as he feels he can. There’s some good physio 10 minute sessions from the stroke association on utube for different abilities. Fatigue is a big issue too and getting used to doing things slowly. It’s a massive and frightening event you have both lived through so be kind to yourselves.
Anxiety is also natural but it does ease with time keeping busy helps and talking the association has a great helpline if u can do that from there?
Keep positive- not always easy I know- keep in touch too please?. There are many online friends on here and everyone helps each other in my experience.
I’ll be thinking of you both.
Thank you so much for your kind words and advice! Getting outside is a great tip 
I will try to get out for a walk, but right now my hands are full with dealing with bank matters etc on my husband’s behalf and also visiting him for three hours every day. I will read moe in this forum when the anxiety gets bad 
Anna
you should get a copy of a book called /had a stroke? What now? by Tom Balchin It’ll help understand what’s happened and what to expect. You can get it on Kindle.
Thank you, I will definitively get it!
@AnnaC God bless you both. I am stroke survivor. It is a long road and when i compare myself to what I was even a few month ago the change is good. I have accepted i will never be the old me. But then I do not want to be. i have adapted to the new me. Try to keep your anxiety under control as it does no one any favours. I am from Glasgow so straight to the point. I was raised to just get on with it. I cant promise you any miracles. But I will say if you are patient you will see changes. Family and love are great healers. I am going home to Scotland on 22nd and cannot wait to be with my family. Good luck 
This has been a huge shock for both of you. You need to look after yourself. If any friends or family offer help please take it.
I still remember the first time I moved my left leg (4 months post stroke) It was the most amazing feeling and gave me and my family hope. This journey is going to take time. Your husband has suffered a major trauma and recover can’t be rushed.
Many people find it useful to keep a diary. They then look back and see progress that they missed. Wishing you all the best.
Janet
@AnnaC hi and welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your husband’s severe stroke. We are a friendly bunch here and hope you find the community a useful place to be. If you have any questions just ask away there is usually someone around who can help.
As you have found out the doctors were a little bit early in saying that your husband would never regain movement in his left side. It often turns out that people do better in their recovery than the Medics give them credit for. I’m not going to lie it is not going to be easy and there will be many ups and downs throughout the recovery process however if you’re prepared to put the work in then I’m sure your husband will come a long way.
Anxiety is very natural after a stroke. Not just for the individual who had a stroke but also for their loved ones. It is a major event that has happened and it takes time to adjust to the impact that it is had on your lives and that it is likely to have for the foreseeable future.
Remember to take time for yourself too as this is really important as you will need all your strength to get you and your husband through the next week’s and months. If you are offered help my advice would be to take it.
Best wishes
Ann
Hi Anna, sorry to hear of your husband’s stroke and welcome to our community. I hope
that you will find this a useful place to be.
Having a stroke is a traumatic experience and it affects not only the stroke survivor but everyone around them. Sadly there is not quick fix and recovery from a stroke is a long and difficult journey and naturally you will both be feeling anxious and concerned about what the future holds. Unfortunately no one can predict how your husband’s recovery will go, every stroke is different and every stroke survivor’s recovery journey is different.
Hopefully once he is settled in the rehab facility they will assess him and be able to decide what help he requires and how they can help him.
At this early stage in his recovery he will need lots of rest and will need to take things easy for a while but I’m sure that with your love and support and gentle encouragement, he will slowly make some improvements.
Please make sure that while you are supporting your husband, you take good care of yourself too.
I look forward to hearing from you as your husband’s road to recovery begins. Remember you are not alone and there is always someone here to offer information and advice or if you just need to have a rant or need a shoulder to cry on.
Best wishes to both of you.
Regards Sue
Thank you! Adapting to a new life will be hard. but hopefully doable.
Thank you for all the lovely comments
@AnnaC Adapting to a new life, is very hard. Once you accept the new you, it becomes slightly easier. Good luck for the future and have an amazing day 
Thank you so much! This is a great forum
Hi Anna @AnnaC
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your husbands stroke. It’s great to hear that he got treatment fast and that he’s started to get some movement back in his leg.
As others have mentioned it can be a long journey, and whilst you’re helping your husband you also need to look after yourself too. We do say quite often that the stroke doesn’t just happen to the stroke survivor, it also happens to whole family too.
I can see you’ve been given some great advice already, and I hope you’ll find this community helpful, there is a wealth of knowledge here from our members. If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
Thank you so much, Anna! I am so glad I found this forum. I had another meeting with my husband’s medical team yesterday and they were a bit more optimistic. AnnaC
That’s great to hear Anna
Sorry to hear about the stroke, pretty much same as mine, right side of brain and I lost all left side movement, but slowly things come back, I also had a feeding tube and had to relearn how to swallow, my stroke was Easter Monday can walk ok left hand dexterity is still an issue as is left side visual field loss, my wife kept a photo diary along with videos of me learning how to walk again and it’s great to look back to see the progress made, I’m trying to learn piano to help with the recovery.
Good luck on the journey remember little steps make big progress stay positive.
That is such a heavy situation to be in. Hearing about him lifting his leg after the doctor was so pessimistic is a massive win, though. I dealt with a family health scare last year and the night-time anxiety is definitely the hardest part to manage. Stay strong
Thank you, @Jelevents! Sorry to hear about your stroke, but good to hear about your progress. I started writing a stroke journal for my husband and myself, and will try to stay positive.
Thank you, @drave030! The anxiety is the worst, it comes at night and in the very early mornings. Once it disappears I am usually able to cope with things.