Hi, i’m new to the community and was looking for any positive advice for my situation.
My fiance (late 40’s M) suffered an ischemic stroke in his left brain in 2024, he initially suffered right side paralysis and aphasia, however made an amazing physical recover in the first month and his aphasia is much better today- i’m extremely grateful for that.
Since the stroke happened a month before our big wedding, we cancelled the wedding and decided to plan for another time when he was feeling better. We have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years and i was moving countries to be with him post the wedding. He has been the most wonderful, careful, loving partner and we were so excited to begin married life together.
Due to the stroke i moved countries to be with him earlier than planned. However, upon my arrival he started feeling immense anxiety and was unable to sleep. He realised he’s not ready to get married now, due to which i had to return back to my home country.
The neurologist said he’s going through emotional/mental trauma for which he has been undergoing neuro feedback therapy which has helped him immensely. However, he seems to be going through some emotional blunting and told me that while he loves me a lot, he doesn’t feel the same way about me as he did prior to the stroke and is unsure of the relationship right now.
Currently, he only feels comfortable with his family. He has moments where he feels emotionally connected to me, but it’s far and few between. He has moments of clarity, where upon my asking he reassures me that we will make it work, but keeps flip flopping. I’ve told him that i will stand by him through his recovery. He’s always been so generous with sharing love and making me feel secure, that it’s worrisome to see him doubting our love and relationship, which has always been so solid.
His executive functions seem to be affected as well, as he’s unable to plan ahead.
He’s been going through anxiety and trouble sleeping from the day i arrived to present day. Sometimes i worry if i am the catalyst for that. He has started a new SSRI’s 10 days back, but it hasn’t taken affect as yet.
He’s only 4 months into his recovery and I’m hoping that over time he gets more clarity and begin to feel love for me the way he used to. I’m going through intense anxiety as well, as i fear losing him.
Any thoughts on this? Advice on how best i can support him as i find myself constantly asking for reassurance
Also, has anyone taken any SSRI’s how long does it take to start seeing changes, does it also help with anxiety?
Thank you all!