My Dad

Hello all, my dad suffered a brain stem stroke in the early hours of Tuesday morning we think. I knew something was wrong that morning I woke up and made my way over. It was the quickest 15 min journey I've done. I went in to find him collapsed upstairs on the landing in a sorry old way I knew he had had a stroke. He had been I'll for nearly a week with a banging headache and flashing lights but the doctors had sent him home with tablets. I called the ambulance which felt like forever to arrive hour and half later it finally did. He had a blood clot on the stem of his brain the next 72 hours were crictical. He has made remarkable progress in these short days movement in all his limbs weakness mainly on his left side. The use of his left eye (not sure how much he can see yet) his memory swallowing and speech hasn't been affected but he is very confused at times. Today has been hard he was very tired and his mood seemed low. The doctors have assured us he is strong and said the fact he has come through this is just a miracle the fact he can do so much already is just incredible. I'm trying to take each day as it comes abs accept the new normal for now. Your stories have given me great comfort in these early days things will get better from a very worried likes to plan ahead daughter x 

So sorry to hear of Dads illness.

i assume he has had a brain stem stroke. Mine was a straight forward ischemic stroke which initially paralysed me 90% and included aphasia. I couldnt even sit myself up and i assumed i was paralysed for life.

but in days i got out the bed and walked. What a lucky 68 year old.

i now drive, tend my veg plot and even do a voluntary job for five hours a month.

if Dad is positive, and he smiles several times a day, then things will improve.


Thank you Colin. Dad is 63 I think he is very worried about his sight he is aware he has had the stroke and your right it was a brain stem stroke. He seems a little confused with somethings but makes conversation and can talk about things we spoke about last week which is great. He is and always has been impatient but I'm hoping that he will learn to have some especially after this. The hiccups at the moment is the hardest thing for him. What a recovery you have made well done x

Hi, it sounds as though your Dad is a strong character and he is definitely putting up a fight ?.  He will need plenty of rest though, try not to let him overdo things, and make sure he gets the best treatment whilst in hospital.  He will be very tired , and low mood goes with the territory sadly.  His amazing brain will surprise you, and you will notice things becoming easier with time.  He will be very grateful for your support ?, you may not be able to plan ahead in the same way, just take one day at a time, and you could possibly begin to keep a diary/journal for your Dad and just note down his progress or things that have happened during the day.  It will build into a useful record of his recovery and you can look back and see his progress, it's very encouraging ?

Hang in there, stay strong, and keep in touch with the lovely supportive people on this site, they will give you so much advice and encouragement xx 

Dear chickenlass

my sight is bad, and now worse with cataracts, but none of this is due to stroke.

i have heard from others who had sight loss at stroking and they have got sight back, albeit slowly.

no two strokes are the same. 

his personality will be changed. It could be that he will no longer be impatient. 

do have a read of the booklets written by the stroke association. They are excellent. And a quick read as a bonus.

my memory has permanently lost several months of my life. My recall can be poor. But honestly, i did not suffer the horrors that many suffer. Strangely, various medics have suggested i had a small stroke a serious stroke and a massive stroke. After a couple of days the consultant told me that i could get a lot of recovery. The whole concept was that recovery would happen. But nowadays i hear so many are told things such as you will never walk etc.

i was not thrombalized as the stroke was whilst i slept. 
it is helpful to remember that no limbs etc are damaged. Its only the messenging system. I hope and imagine that also applies to eyesight.

not heard of hiccups being an issue. Yet another issue to add to the long list. It took me years to grasp that if, for instance, i needed to deal with hiccups, then i had to ask for help with hiccups and not with a stroke.

above all, dad and me both survived when many do not.


Hi there. Stroke is very traumatic but he sounds strong willed enough to make progress. Neither he nor you should expect too much too soon. I was thinking over my progress since my stroke five years ago. When I came home I could only walk a little, was very tired and scarcely able to do anything. I have just come in from walking round the block with my stick. I cook most days, bake bread, make a bed and go away on short breaks. It's still work I.n progress but life is better than it was. Stay strong and encourage him all you can.

Thank you so much. Today I brought a diary and I have written what I remember from when I found him. He managed to stand today with help but he stood up. He seems very mellow in mood at the moment which is great but aggravated by the hiccups still. He is in the best place at the moment with every day his confidence will grow he can do this thank you so much for your reply I love hearing from you all xx

This gives me great hope. Thank you so much for your reply. He managed to stand today with help but he stood up. I'm in ore of him. He is very mellow although aggravated by the hiccups hopefully as time goes on his strength will build daily. What a fantastic group this is thank you for your reply x

That's all very true. Medication has started to ease the hiccups so hopefully they will subside in time. The consultants have assured us it is normal and can be an affect from the stroke that should settle. He is a survivor and I'm so incredibly proud of how far he has come in this short time. I shall take a look at the booklets thank you. A neurology meeting is being held tmrw to discuss dads case hopefully we will know more what the consultants plan to do for his rehabilitation abs whether he will stay where he is or be moved to another centre  xx

Morning ?‍♀️, glad to hear you've started your diary, that's great and you won't be disappointed, you'll be surprised how useful it can be!!  When I started keeping a diary for my husband, I tended to just grab any old piece of paper I could find!!  Then when the pressure eased I just set up a log on my laptop, and added to it daily.  Initially it began as a food diary, because he was hardly eating and the dietician suggested keeping a record.  However it became a more general record of his progress, moods, any "odd" behaviours or issues etc always an interesting read!!  It's great that you've started so early in the process, because memory dulls with time, but you will have an accurate record of everything, to refer back to ?

Not a clue about the hiccups!!  I've read lots of stroke stories on this site, but never heard of anyone having this problem - will probably open the floodgates now, and find out that hiccups is quite common!!  

Keep strong, best wishes to you xxx

That sounds good.

if you are told he will not walk/recover please do not take it to heart. He will walk, he will recover. I think medics may have to tell you the worst. They didnt do that to me, they encouraged me.

i think the booklets might be on this site. I prefer the written ones.

there will be all manner of after effects. I havent come across hiccups. Who knows what Dads brain will be working on at the moment and what it will be ignoring.

so far so good.



Dads hiccup medication has been upped today which it good. The doctor said his brain is working hard to get the blood flowing where the clot was and to break it down which could be what's causing the hiccups. He has been standing again today he is getting things done. He isn't eating much only ice cream he doesn't seem to want to eat his food puréed. Which I can understand. He always has liked his food piping hot and tasty. Things keep moving in the right direction which is really good. Dad was also taken for an MRI today so hoping we will understand a bit more with those results xx

Hello, in a similar position here, dad had a stroke 2 weeks ago. Not really been able to visit in hospital due to covid restrictions (only my mum). We were hoping he would be released today but they need to do a home assessment first. 

Hope the mri gives some news ChickenLass. Understand your anxiety. X

Hey I'm so sorry your dad is poorly. MRI was apparently done for the consultants own benefit. She is using my dad as a case study becuase his brain isn't wired the same as ours so basically his brain is back to front or that's how it's been explained. So basically all the things he is doing he shouldn't be 2 weeks in. Swallowing he can see through both eyes except the right side is shut but they can't explain why becuase the stroke wouldn't have caused it as it's his left side that's affected. Yet he is opening and using his left eye. It's so complicated there's so much to process. I hope your ok here anytime you want to chat xx

Update: Dad has now moved to stage 6 eating which is brilliant. He is going to the gym most afternoons now before our visits so he is quite tired. He is drinking well and now has the catheter out but isn't making it to the toilet in time which he is fully aware of :( he knows what's going on which is hard to see but he also knows he can't help it. OT are going out to his home on Monday to assess it seems quite early but they have assured us it's nothing to worry about. Dad doesn't seem to be enjoying the gym much but knows it's for his own good. His eyesight hasn't got any better I would say in his left eye. But his right eye can now open half way if you ask him too. I took his phone in earlier in the week but im not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing he doesn't seem that interested at the moment but the therapist said it would be good for him. Hopefully we keep heading in this direction as at the moment it's going so well x