Hello all, my name is Traci and I had a TIA nearly 6 months ago. I’m really struggling with the mood swings - one day I can be normal, the next full of hate and anger at myself and the rest of the world, then the next crying continuously.
I also have trouble dealing with everyday situations (such as feeding a neighbour’s cat as she was in hospital) in case I get into trouble for doing something wrong.
I used to be fairly confident, now I’m second quessing myself all of the time. Is this normal, and will I ever feel myself again? Help and advice would be much appreciated.
Mood swings & emotional changes are very common. It’s a big thing you have been through so it is unsurprising really.
Also loss of confidence can happen too. I know i am nowhere near as confident with things as i used to be. Things i used to do without a thought I now get double checked & some things just send me into a complete meltdown.
The good news is tgese things should get better in time. Have a look at this leaflet which may help you understand what’s happening a bit better.
Hi @Zelda and welcome to the forum, one thing you can be assured of on this site is that you are not alone in what you are experiencing and going through. You are not alone
If you were ever told that your TIA was temporary and you’ll be back to normal in no time; that’s a myth! It takes years not months for most. Unfortunately TIA’s are the same as small strokes or mini strokes, they are all strokes, as my stroke consultant told me! And I am living proof that it can get better. I’m over 4yrs post stroke (TIA) and for me, cognition came back on board about 18 months after the stroke. I was fortunate in that I was emotionally numb, set to neutral, no feelings at all either way so had to fake a lot. That started returning around the same time as cognition but still has a ways to go. Short term improvement was more gradual but it’s a heck of lot better than was even 2 years ago.
So, don’t be so hard on yourself, acceptance and adapting are keys to coping, good sleep, good diet, exercise, especially out in the sun while we have it. And do speak with your doctor or stroke team if you are still with them, that’s what they are there for
Hi Traci and welcome to our community of stroke survivors and their carers and families.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, all of the feelings you have described are perfectly normal following a stroke. Stroke is a traumatic experience and can affect you in many ways.
I’m 8 years post stroke and on occasions still find myself angry at the world.
Hopefully the links Mrs5K has suggested will help you understand your feelings and help you come to terms with the aftermath of your stroke.
Hopefully things will slowly improve, you are still in the early stages of recovery. I wish you well and look forward to hearing from you as your road to recovery continues.
I am sorry you are having troubles following your TIA six months ago. You have come here looking for help and advice and I am pleased to see you have already had an excellent response from our lovely regular members who always here for anyone and everyone who needs any help
Further, there may well be others who may chip in with how they coped when they found themselves in a situation not too dissimilar to yours, which is always nice
I myself have got something very simple and old fashioned. Now I have to say, it might not work for everyone but it is “tried and tested” and it is totally free and requires very little effort and very little time.
I would recommend you do this whenever you feel like it - that’s the beauty of this, you can do it whenever, wherever and however often you care to do it. What am I talking about?
The good old fashioned deep breathing.
Take a deep breath, count to 10 and exhale.
Repeat 10 times and that’s it.
Revert back to normal breathing.
Next time you feel a mood swing, sit down, and do the above old fashioned deep breathing.
You might be surprised how effective this is, or you might not.
Try it and if you feel like it, do come back and lettuce know how you got on.
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear about your TIA and the difficulties you’re going through with your emotions and confidence.
As others here have said, this is normal. You’ve been through a traumatic experience which can affect emotions and confidence. I can see that @Mrs5K and @EmeraldEyes have shared some great links which I hope will help, along with the advice that other members have offered too. This community has a wealth of knowledge so I hope that you’ll find it useful being part of it.
If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Thank you all so much for your lovely comments and advice. It helps so much to know I’m not the only person raging at the moment! I think because I’m still walking and talking (although I’ve developed a stutter???) those who know me think all is well and I’m back to normal.
It’s great to converse with people who know how I feel, and thank you again so much
Hi Traci, Reading your post made me recall how I was after my incident. Your story is similar to mine inasmuch as I though I’d got away fairly lightly as I was not badly affected. Remarks on 'how well I looked, ‘haven’t you recovered well’ etc very much belied what I was feeling. I was a very confident person working in public life before, but at times now I can still rage at how affected I am by the things I find difficult and have to ask for help. We can’t say ‘You’ll get over it’ and all the platitudes that trip off the tongue, but in my case I have learnt other ways of doing things. As you may notice we all mention the dreaded F word. Fatigue is always present so learning to manage that was my biggest problem and I felt useless when I couldn’t do anything. Time is your best armour, you will find ways to cope. Perhaps not in the way that you always have, but be kind to yourself. Who cares if there half a ton of peel left on the tatties? And not everything needs to be sparkling clean and ironed within an inch of its life! Yes you’ll feel bad at times, but life in what ever form is out there waiting to be lived. Enjoy it with us. Best wishes Norma
Thank you Norma, your message brought tears to my eyes (in a good way!) I tend not to tell people I’ve had a stroke for this simple reason: those who know think (as I mentioned in original post) there’s nothing wrong with me now, and trying to explain makes me angry and frustrated so I keep quiet.
Hi Zelda, I did not realise how mood swings could affect relationships but after a stupid row with a dear friend did it hit me
Yes i apologised later but when i read the leaflet about emotional change i let my friend read it as well we now have a mutual understanding of how things can change after a TIA and it has brought us closer.
Like you i dont wear a placard saying i have had a stroke, but if people ask then my darling supportive wife xplains as i cant bring myself to do it at the moment. Take care, it will get better so they all say.
Thanks for your kind reply Zelda. As always in situation like yours, I’m reminded of the saying "Walk a mile in my shoes.’ Only those who have been in a situation can understand its effects. Even then as we know, every incident is different. We are all different and have different coping mechanisms. You are amongst friends who do have small understanding of what you’re going through. I mentioned in another post, that I have aphasia resulting from my stroke and have ordered a card that explains this. It has arrived, I’m now carrying it to explain to people about my stroke. Maybe a possibility for you if you don’t want to explain to strangers. We’ll no doubt meet again on the site, Have a good day Zelda.
Absolutely and you are not alone here. Welcome to the forum where we can share and not feel alone.
The Stroke Association run online activities where I met lots who talked about our ( sometimes irrational) mood swings. Ones that later do t make any sense to us.
It was likened to when someone has a heart attack it’s called a heart attack, a stroke is an attack on the brain, it will get less and less these mood swings gs and later we will accept the trauma and the emotional distress I’m sure will ease but more importantly be kind to yourself! I too was a confident determined character who stood up for those who couldn’t challenge people themselves, I had a total melt down whwn I had my stroke but I’m finding a year on next month from my stroke I’m feeling more stronger. I hope the same is for you. But be kInD to you x
Thank you Sue And thank you for the kind offer of the books a few weeks back. I have to say, I’m having a trying few days - I’m always worse of a weekend because that’s when I had my TIA, and therefore associate it! And I have to structure my weekends, which I have become quite adept at.
But I have been vile to my landlord (I’ve lived here for nearly 30 years and we’re good friends) and vile to myself. I just have to keep telling myself that this will pass. The depression sets in and I really struggle, but it is getting (dare I say) slightly better now. I’m sure I’m not alone in wanting recovery right now, but it doesn’t work like that!
That’s just how I’ve behaved Sue, like a petulant child, and my landlord tells me to forget it etc but I still loathe myself for it. I had a headache yesterday and the thoughts started, just like you. We just can’t help it can we. Thanks for being so understanding. I have a chest x-ray next Saturday and I’m on the ceiling about that! I’m a grand master at catastrophising
Hi Zelda
Sorry to read your story.
I went through a similar experience with a small stroke 15 years ago which has permanently affected my eyesight,balance and to a small extent my dexterity and coordination (fumbly fingers )
Your brain has suffered a shock which has left a legacy of anxiety, changes in mood and confidence in doing things.
In time I adjusted to my new circumstances but for at least two years I was sometimes depressed,weepy and angry that this had happened to me.
You will come to accept it and move on to concentrate on what you can do rather than what you cannot.
In my case that took several years.
It is common to experience fatigue and you will learn to work around this by taking regular rest breaks and doing things in short stages.
I wish you good fortune on that journey.
Plenty of support and help available on this forum.
We have all been where you are and found a way forward as you will.
best wishes
Tony
Thank you so much for your words of comfort Tony, I’m really grateful for this forum because I would’ve been floundering otherwise. It’s immensely beneficial to me to know I’m not the only one whose emotions have been affected by srtoke. Good luck to you Tony.
