For me there are many unknowns to try to give specific help as many different factors come into this.
For us as carers, despite Mum having had a severe stroke and corresponding impact: right side paralysis, aphasia, cognitive issues and vascular dementia, she had the desire, will and zest for life. This was evident to us as her family even as she lay in bed in hospital with the doctors telling us she was not going to make it and this (her lying in bed) was the best we can expect.
Based on the pre-stroke Mum (healthy, active, independent and people-person in her late 80s) we felt this is what she still wanted. So we spoke with her or talked to her as she couldnāt really do anything as she was unable to speak and had limited mobility. We tried the blink once for yes and twice for no etc. etc. but none of that worked. But we knew she wanted to carry on and so we determined to do the best we could for her. In the early days all we did was sit her out in a riser recliner chair, or wheelchair (in the spring/summer) and take her out to feel the sun, smell the flowers and feel the air on her face in the hospital garden. She was in hospital for about three and a half months because they tried to discharge her but failed as she picked up infections and so had to stay in.
We talked to her all the time and said to her it is up to her what she wants to do. We will help as much we we can, but she has to decide what she wants to do. Thatās all we did. We made sure she knew we were there for her and we will support her as best as we can.
When she was discharged from hospital she was taken home, but the home was not ready or prepared for someone in her condition i.e. home adaptations had not been done because they (the system did not believe it was warranted as Mum was unlikely to āneedā them). This meant Mum was essentially a āprisonerā locked inside her room. Once inside she could not be taken out easily as the door was not wide enough and she had been taken in with difficulty. So again, all we could do was sit her out in the chair and transfer to bed. This went on for a while and we tried to get home adapted so she can be released from her ācellā. As you can imagine, this dragged on but Mum insisted she was going to stick around and so eventually, we managed to get the door widened and a ramp put in so she can be taken in and out of the house. This was a huge improvement but it happened in the winter time and so she was still housebound.
So whilst in the riser recliner chair, we massaged her limbs, tilted the chair and tried to improve her posture. So this kept Mum strong and she never showed any sign of depression, or refused to cooperate. The only thing she refused was oral hygiene because a nurse in the hospital had āhurtā her whilst aggressively trying to clean her mouth. Just for the record, despite refusal to do oral hygiene she didnāt have problems with her mouth as the body started to self-clean the mouth. Much, much later we managed to get her to accept oral hygiene and today we brush her teeth and she drinks water but is nil-by-mouth for food and other stuff.
So the activities in the chair as well as sitting on the edge of the bed kept her strong and ālooseā. Mum is petite and so all the gadgets on the market that are for adults are too big for her - even her chair is too big for her and we have to pad it with pillows and so we have to improvise. We used the riser recliner to help Mum to bear her own weight by raising the chair to max tilt and then supporting her by hugging her as she stood. In so doing she was able to support her weight but only on her good (non-paralysed leg) because the paralysed leg still needed work before it would reach the floor. But just this act of her standing on her one leg was enough to boost her endorphins or whatever it is that happens when we exercise. So we kept doing this and she kept getting stronger and eventually her paralysed leg started to loosen and today that leg can also be straightened and she has control of it i.e. the brain and nervous system etc are working so that if you ask her to straighten that leg she does. Sadly, and itās a bit of a long story, but her left leg (non-paralysed) has now gone āfrozenā and so we are currently working on that.
The point of this rather long winded note is that it is up to the individual whether or not they succeed and how much they succeed. Mum never gave up, never will despite the many knock backs and she started from zero having led a very active life.
There have been no aids that have helped her as they donāt exist for someone of her size or at least if they do no one has shown them to us. Her sheer will power and desire has got her where she is. She is in her mid 90s and never once gave up. She will go on until she drops and I guess that is what makes her different and a pleasure to care for. It is so easy to help someone who wants to be helped and who will allow you to help them. Yes, she gets frustrated at times and throws tantrums, but we just talk about it and remind her that it is her choice - what does she want?
Probably of not much use to you, but perhaps if you can share this with your dear one i.e. there is a person here on this forum who probably started from a worse position (age, severity, lack of help etc. etc.) who is enjoying life and will likely continue to do so and may well recover to their former self - that is no exaggeration. Itās no brag, just fact 
