Me and my husband both overwhelmed with sadness today!! Can't seem to shake ourselves out of it!! Its my birthday Wednesday  and keep making excuses for family not to come round!!do not like the person I have become!!was sociable fiesty and funny beforehand! A miserable sod now!! 

Jane. Your family will want to come round and will worry if they are told not too. In my early days at home, I let people know that whilst glad to see them I might have to ask them to go if I started to get tired. Also, I would tell them not to dwell on sympathy. Not sure if this helps, but no one wants to be looked at with sad eyes.

I do avoid people now! 

Penblwydd hapus Jane, our brains manage our emotions and mood, I counted thirty-seven different emotions in a book by Charles Darwin I recently read, so you can imagine what a stroke will do to the balance of those emotions. You will eventually recover your spirit but at the moment, I imagine you are exhausted and swimming against the current. You are right, it is not you, but it is also a transitional period. Today, someone I hadn't seen for about four months commented on how improved I was. I don't feel that much improved, as I am still working at all my symptoms, and am very much knee deep in problems that are making me feel rattled. However, that's the 10% she saw, and I have to accept that it's a step forward, no matter how slight. You too might not be seeing your progression but I bet it is occurring, no matter how small. I didn't have any friends or family around for my birthday, just had a quiet one, although I tend to prefer it that way, even before my stroke. Just another feather in my cap of existence, I like to say. 

Yep, that is an automatic response and I do it regularly myself, hear a knock on the door and I automatically ask my wife to answer rather than have to face trying to communicate with a stranger. This is not a good response, it is too easy to slip into a hermit mode! I am faced with that very situation at his moment, I'm recovering from a bout of bronchitis which has meant me missing out on my one night a week I go out in the evenings to my club where I mix, mingle and play pool. There is also on the same night a different entertainer.

These entertainers have one thing in common, they are too loud for me. I am deliberating whether or not to return to my night out or just watch TV instead where I can control the volume!

Common sense says that I should continue with my night out.


What kind of stroke didi you have Jane. I look good to everyone but its my head as I have said on too many occasions. I had a little walk in the park today not because I felt like it but I made myself do it. We have got to have some kind of life or give in which we must not do. I hope you soon feel more  positive and your poor husband. I feel sorry for mine as he has to put up with me the way I am.Best wishes to both of you and try to cheer up. Norma.

It is hard to be cheerful, especially if you are in pain.Let your family come round if only for a short while. I reluctantly went to my great granddaughter's seventh birthday party on Saturday, dozens of children and adults!! It was noisy but lively. I was glad to have gone but just as happy to be home!! Take care and keep trying! Love Lilian

It is hard having to meet people takes effort and energy which is a limited source for people with strokes. However can you not zoom them or face time them or ask then just to stay 30mi . Thing will get better but it is a long hard journey ? take care all the best des x