i was at my cousins funeral on Wednesday (75 cancer) and after i don’t go the wake but i will go to a pub and have a pint in there memory ,less messy all round . got speaking to the barman and one other customer ,i had my stick , i use it for balance when i get tired , he said he had a stroke in 22 was totally paralyse down 1 side, face drooping couldn’t talk ,nearly died ,and yet in 18 months he is bouncing about like a tigger , telling me i hadn’t had a stroke ,and wasn’t he wonderful to have got better so fast ,
is this even possible ??
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While I was in hospital I was bed bound, pretty much immobile. There was a guy in there walking around on the ward even walking in and out of the doors at the end. How could he be in there with us?
He was perfectly okay. I was so resentful.
Then one day he was in bed surrounded by his family, it went on for hours, they even stayed all night. He was moved to a side ward. The procession of visitors continued.
Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped. Things went very quiet on the ward.
He was dead.
He seemed okay. His family loved him. Then he was gone.
Who knows what the other guy is going through? Who knows where the hopes and fears are going to lead?
The only answer I’ve come up with is
keep on keepin’ on
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It’s it is possible? Yes.
Does it mean s***¿ No
Do the other comments made to you reveal personality, and knowledge level? Yes to both
My response would be to question the basis for their assertions (seek to understand). try to educate them on multiple fronts (be understood) & if they demonstrated a closed mind then ignore them in future (don’t waste energy fruitlessly)
3¢
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I was paralysed down my left side for 48 hours after then could walk and use my hand I know I’m incredibly lucky to have gained these functions back but I can’t use my left hand to lift anything of real weight and I limp when I walk and can’t walk far without needing a rest xx
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Think you have to ignore these types, they appear in all walks of life………. “ prejudging others. Boasting , showing off. We have to work at our problems ,get on the best we can and not to resent others improvements. I attend a stroke support group of wonderful folk who don’t judge but are amazed at others have achievemented and happy for them.
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Really !! Didn’t he do well 
Some people really know how to make you feel down don’t they. As we all know, every stroke is different as is every recovery.
We all do the best we can when we can. Don’t let it get to you or make you feel that you are not doing well.
Onwards and upwards
Regards Sue
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It’s difficult sometimes with an injury that has such an asymmetrical rehabilitation timeline and ramification for each person injured. A few years after the stroke I had, an extended family member’s friend also had a stroke, she is almost twice my age. After some time, this family member sort of rubbed my nose in the speed in which this person, apparently, had recovered. “She is doing very well, I don’t know why he isn’t, and he’s half her age.” She would say to other people when I was in earshot. Fortunately, through this forum and my own engagement with others who had also had a stroke, I was well aware that I wasn’t going to buy into this stroke envy because the rewiring process is subjective as can be, but it still stings a little.
I don’t know why he would say that you haven’t had a stroke. I have experienced this to the extreme, but that was from some people who didn’t have brain damage and were deluded into thinking I had not had a stroke. People who lack compassion and feel their thoughts and voices must come from a position of self-entitled power, as opposed to a cooperative connection with those around them.
The chap’s achievement is positive but, by your description, he does come across as a bit of a Lord Flashheart. 
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i get that reference, i read Tom Browns schooldays
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these are my symptoms, i cant lift anything heavy with my left hand/arm , I’m also left handed so my writing is affected if i stick to capitals its legible ,i use my printer a lot more now, my leg slight limp but i can cover that up so its not so noticeable and i can’t walk far without needing a rest either, my head is also numb from the middle of my forehead to my carotid artery , that one is strange
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Hi all, I have a kind of reverse of this, I had a stroke 2 months ago (49m) and now I have a barely noticeable limp and very minor loss of fine control in my right hand. So most people I know dismiss the fact I had a stroke as something trivial, yes I’m blessed to have that recovery (to date) compared to some of my fellow survivors but I still have (ofc) the days when symptoms are worse, the fear of reoccurrence is bad and I am always dealing with fatigue. I find myself feeling like a fraud sometimes even my family doubt the fatigue and dizzy spells, I’m far from smug about it and never rub it in - I still speak to my ward buddies and try to encourage them but I would hate to think they felt I was being smug. I would say if you think somebody is being an arse it’s probably worth reflecting on the fact we’ve shared the same fear and we all combat that demon differently and in different areas.
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I remember in the early days, I was trying to explain to someone close to me how fatigue feels and how it affects me, to the response, we all get tired. And it reminds me of the wonderful bit of Hitchhiker’s dialogue … “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” “Ask a glass of water.” Safe to say, that three years on, I have experienced such a plethora of reactions and opinions to my condition that I think I manage it pretty well, even the kid at the supermarket the other day who asked me why I had a walking stick and I, promptly, informed him that, it’s evolution mate, three legs are far better than two.
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Hello and welcome 
but sorry you have had reason to join 
You might consider getting a sunflower lanyard of the " I have a hidden disability sort"?
I appreciate your main message isn’t so much the coping as the reactions of others - You could combine that with explanation of the sort that runs “Stroke is an umbrella term for a cause of many symptoms only some are physical but all come from irreparable damage to the brain. Many are invisible affecting detection and more disturbingly tolerance of light & sight, sounds, emotion & social interactions, smelly & taste, proprioception, touch & hot/ cold, pain sensations including phantom pain and much more - visible is less than the tip of an iceberg”
Your point about putting yourself in other shoes is very well made. For a long long time I’ve commented on people’s intolerance of what they see as driving in fractions - obviously we’ve all seen the arse who incautiously takes advantage But also there are a lot of road users who innocently make trivial mistakes and/or have lapses of awareness and yet they all tend to be criticised vehemently. We’ve all been that clumsy manoeuvre at some point
I hope your recovery continues smoothly
Caio
Simon
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Hi @Brett & welcome to the community. Good to hear you’re making steady progress after your stroke.
There will always be someone who is smug or doesn’t get it but I find most people are genuinely trying to be polite & offer encouragement. Even if that means they think we’ve fully recovered. Unless we’ve been there it is difficult to understand how someone feels…even family & friends will struggle with despite them having helped with your revovery journey etc. It’s great that you’re still helping your ward buddies.
In the right situation i might explain a bit more about how i am affected but most of the time I just thank them and move on.
Best of luck with your ongoing recovery.
Ann
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A while ago I posted a message here saying how much I feel like an imposter. I had my stroke 5 years ago now, and, like so many of us, it was pretty devastating and totally life-changing.
But I’ve been on of the “lucky ones”. In time, I’ve healed really well, and every day I count my lucky stars how much progress I’ve made, but I know it’s not the same for everyone.
The attitude of that person you met was indefensible, to imagine they think we all suffer the same damage and all have the same options to heal is just nonsense.
We’re each walking our own path, and we each are grateful for every little bit of progress we make. Don’t let anything said by that person affect you too deeply, my guess is they’re a pretty shallow person and not worthy of any thought of yours.
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