Memory loss

Hello fellow stroke survivors. It is a year now since my four strokes and I still have very bad instant memory loss. I have never had this trouble before. I can be enjoying an interesting conversation when suddenly everything goes blank and I don't know what we have been talking about. Very embarrassing to people who don't understand strokes. Anyone out there experiencing the same. Love judy

Yes, me.  I'm 3 yrs post stroke and quite often dry up mid sentence. Sometimes I know what I want to say but it won't come out but I can describe what I want to say OK. Strange.

Dear Judy

me too !

stroke was december 2015. My memory of the second half of 2015 is totally wiped. Lucky i kept a diary so i can fill in the gaps. Total blank.nowadays i still get blanks where there should be words or action.

this morning i wanted to use weedkiller and i have instructions etc. can i find them, of course not.

and seeing people i recognize, but the names are blank. Very embarassing. No good trying to wing it, better to just say 'i have forgotten your name'

completly changed me as a person. I am a qualified accountant and people expect certain behaviour. But its all gone.

the good news is that things have improved a lot over the past four years. It does ease.

i have a theory. Your brain is busy working out new pathways around the dead bit in your brain (medic speak is neuroplasticity). That possibly goes on for two years. Then, your brain settles and you can rebuild the new Judy.

best wishes


Thank you Colin for your reply. I have a answer to help if you can't remember a name when you meet someone. Just say I can't remember your name. If they give you their first name reply with yes I know that it is the surname I can't remember lol  keep well. Love judy

Yes that is me as well. Seems a common.. Post stroke action take care. Love judy

Nice one Judy.

So good to smile.


Judy I had my stroke 2 years ago and even now I still have the same problem.

But now I'm better at coping   With the problem:  I am always jotting quick notes into my phone or recording conversations and then playing them back to make notes.

i know I got the permanent brain damage so I have learnt to work around all the issues.

i had to - my wife after 36 years didn't want me back home. My profile tells the story - I got brain damage and disabilities now - but I live on my own.

So to me it's about how you deal with the issues.

I hope I have helped.




My mother had a stroke nearly 3 months ago.

The stroke has effected her left side and her brain has been badly damaged. 

Prognosis is not good hoists and nursing home is what I was told from day one .

This has been a massive shock and a very emotional roller coaster. 

Mum has shown absolutely no sign of improvement,  she 76 and was a independent lady,  we lost my dad who mum nursed July 2019 , mum is convinced he is alive she convinced hospital is her home , despite some of the staff telling her the reality of your husband is dead and this is a hospital, saying this to mum is making matters worse she thinks they are playing mind games with her and trying to make out she's going mad. 

Yesterday I had a call from the ward and I could hear my mother screaming,  they hoped I could calm her , no such luck , mum thinks they are stealing her belongings she wants them out of her home she also wanted my pops out of her   house, she was she was so abusive towards the staff using very foul language to them trying to hit them , I wasn't any help she turned on me she wanted my daughter who's a police officer to help her , apparently she started swearing in the middle of the night at them , she was  refusing care her bed sheets were soaking wet she wouldn't have her pain killers and she was in dreadful pain .

I phoned back up at 9 pm that night she was having a quiet moment but she was still having issues with them .

I'm so concerned what to do can anyone help ? 

Dear Deana

oh what a tragic situation.

There is always hope. Stroke Recovery can come even after two years and more. 

i wonder why she has not been moved on from hospital to a care home. Is this because the doctors think there are still medical issues. In which case there is some hope for Mum.

certainly stroke can cause memory issues. I had hallucinations, but i did not think they were "real". My memory is now pretty awful five years on. And my character has changed. If i can see that, goodness knows what others see.

when my mum began to lose her mind, purely an ageing issue, i tried the course of accepting that she saw things that i could not see. A lot of patience on my part, but it was worth the effort. She saw schoolboys going home. I gently said how lucky she was, i couldnt see these lads and she could. She enventually asked the boys to move on and they did. Etc etc etc.

There is very little that you can do. I assume you cant visit.
Be supportive towards the nurses and staff. Reassure Mum when you can. Above all, look after yourself. 

i am three years younger than Mum. This could be me quite soon.

I am so lucky that i do have faith. A practicing Christian. i cant go to a church at the moment, but i will give a prayer for Mum. 

best wishes


Dear Colin 

Thank you for your message. 

Not sure why mum is still in hospital,  they are assessing mums care needs and covid hasn't helped. 

I have been told mum needs full nursing care 24/7 .

I phoned the hospital today to find out if mum has settled they have given her medication to calm her , im really concerned wondering is this the start of dementia,  they are going to check mums urine to see if she has a infection and they have said maybe mums had another stroke. 

Thank you for your offer of  prayers your very kind .

I think it would be in mums best interests to try and get  mum moved ASAP to a care home .

Its all so very sad ? 

Dear Deana

Immediately after my husband had his stroke my husband used to become very agitated when I entered the ward, shouting at me to go away and telling me never to come back.  He did allow my daughter to visit however.  We were lucky enough to have extremely good support from the stroke team for the first six weeks which then abruptly ceased.  Dealing with someone who has had a stroke is not easy,  your life has changed too.  I do understand more how jumbled and painful your brain feels after having  my TIA.  It is very, very hard on the stroke survivor's close relatives and partners.  I used to sob in shower as I ran out of patience and understanding.  It has been a long haul but we have managed to work a life together, my husband has learned to live more calmly with the frustrations of his stroke outcomes, and I have learned what I can cope with and what I can't.  It is important that you care for yourself as well as the stroke survivor.  Lean on others as much you can, none of us are superhuman.  It will take time, there is little one can do whilst the hospital has her care, you have to trust that they are doing the best they can. Talk to them about your concerns and issues.  My thoughts will be with you, keep in touch. Marylin

Thank you Marlon,

Its a struggle and im trying to do one day at a time .

The latest is the hospital are starting to prepare mum to go on to a placement,  god knows how this will go down. 

I do have a little network of close friends & family who i do vent off to . 

Truly hope you and your husband are ok.

Thank you for your kind message ?

Dear Deanna

you will get through this, take each day one at a time, don't plan ahead too much.  I have learned to take pleasure in small things, such as the first beautiful deep pink bloom on my camellia bush I noticed yesterday. Almost too perfect.   A herald of spring.  Remember how beautiful last spring was.  Sadly we are back in lock down, but in all reality I have been in lockdown for the last 6 years, very limited socially and mentally.  Classic FM has also been a saviour, having it as background music going all day has had a calming effect on us both.  Keep messaging you will find it a huge help to know that you are not the only one to be struggling with the fallout from a stroke no matter how big or small the stroke was.  Finding humour in the outcomes of stroke is possibly macabre but there is a saying 'laugh and the world laughs with you, cry, and you cry alone.'  I try to choose to laugh if I can but not always successfully.  Marylin

You are remarkable Marylin. 

My mum has finally moved from a hospital environment after 5 months. 

I had to find mum a nursing care home thats general nursing aswell as Emi , mum has mad no improvements regarding her left side at all, mums  mind was bady damaged she has no insight into her disability and she is fluctuating,  this really hasn't improved maybe its got worse. 

Finding mum a placement was a massive challenge with many homes refusing mum because of her care package. 

My mother is in a home which is a hour & 15 min drive from where we live .

Mum is convinced she's going home and she's there for rehabilitation, sadly this is not true which breaks my heart. 

Mum is double Incontinent and more of less bedridden she has no sitting balance, mum can be very vocal and she will use vile language. 

I did have a brief conversation with the management of the home and I think mum is a challenge for them,  mum is on what they call memory lane unit,  because of her confusion,  shes so frustrated shouting at them why they trap her behind bars they won't let her use the toilet,  they are man handling her . 

I've heard one lady screaming who has dementia, when mum  and I were on the phone,  mum said this is a strange house with strange people they have a cellar here where they 

Sorry went to soon . 

She said they torture people .

It's only a week since mums been there but I'm so worried she seems very unsettled and she's putting up a fight,  mums poor brain is so jumbled,  she convinced my dead brother is alive and my step dad who she nursed with cancer is alive and he has other women and children its so sad , my mother has just had her 77 th bday.  

I'm heartbroken and can not believe my poor mum is this broken lady , she was such a independent strong woman who ran a massive beautiful home her pride and joy,  she drove and cooked amazing food .

Bathed every morning full make up and elegant clothes.

Mum was 18.8 stones she Always struggled with weight after she hit 50 plus she is now 14 stone .

I had a window visit and I had such a shock I drove home crying all the way .

I'm so worried I'm not sure what I should do,  mum has told me about incident in every hospital which sounds real but when I've made phone calls ect it been mums jumbled mind, I'm not sure if she deep sleeps and is convinced she's done it , ive had a conversation with mum and she's repeating it to my step dad who mum says is sat in the chair . 

I hope you are healing well and have stayed safe from covid xx