Lonely and very low

Does any body have days when they are very lonely I am marrried but there is oonly so much to talk to your husband about. I never see anybody and get very down. I have got three sons and with this virus going around I never see them. The neighbours keep themselves to themselves. I have got a very bad day today I just wish the phone would ring. My stroke is different to most strokes it just affected my head and eyes but my head is very difficult to deal with it makes my balance very bad. I would be very pleased to get some advice . Norma 81yrs.

Hi Norma

I hope you having more good days than bad. It is difficult with the covid. It does make you feel lonely. Try doing puzzles or writing or learning calligraphy. The. Forum helps support you. Do you like reading? I had stroke 7 months ago at 78 and it is frustrating not to be able to go swimming safely a nd do the things we did before the stroke and the virus. I am alone but have a good supportive family and do text and Skype them.I was starting to go to them for lunch et c but with Oxford almost on red alert think this might not happen. Try to think positive; so many people have lost loved ones and we are all thinking of you struggling, I know how you feel. There's always stroke forum to air your feelings we always listen. Best wishes


Hi Norma

I think a lot of us on the forum have days like you describe and yes you are right there is only so much you can talk to your husband about.  I had my stroke 3 years ago and I do have some days like that, but not as frequently as they did earlier on.  If you speak to the doctor he may be able to refer you to a local coordinator who can visit you and get you involved in things that may be going on locally.  You could also ring the stroke helpline and ask if there is a local support group that you could go to.  I found the group was full of help and I looked forward to going for a cuppa and a chat.  This forum is also a good place to chat to other survivors.  Take care.  Wendy

Hi Norma. Sorry you feel low today. This is a difficult time for us all, but even more difficult if you are living with the after effects of stroke. I live with my partner and it is true that it is sometimes difficult to find things to talk about. We can get out and about though and that helps break up the day. I phone family regularly to keep in touch even if I find them (and me) saying the same old things. We also have good neighbours, so things with us aren't too bad.

I won't say 'be positive' because if you feel low, you feel low. We are lucky in that we have a lovely garden and look out on it all the time. There is great pleasure in looking at birds, bees, wandering cats and late autumn flowers. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Thanks for replying to my message  I do crossword puzzles etc.  I go for a walk with my husband every afternoon but everything I do is spoilt by the way my head is and my balance is  very bad I use a stick which helps but still feel very wobbly. I am going private to see a neurologist I would have had to wait 4 months on the nhs and I cant go on with this feeling in my head much longer I have been to the doctors numerous times and he cant help me. I shouldnt moan as when I read all the terrible times people are having with their strokes it puts me to shame. All the best to you all  Norma.

Hello Norma

I.ve only just seen this thread and am hesitantly replying. I'm fairly new to the forum and still a bit reluctant and unsure as to whether I should put my thoughts forward. Please let me stress they are only thoughts and certainly not a diagnosis for you. My ischaemic stroke was in January this year, at the age of 74.  I've always suffered with anxiety and years ago I was referred to see a psychologist. I had become agoraphobic following several panic attacks. I felt terrified every time I ventured outside, sure I would collapse because of the way my head was - I was convinced I had a brain tumour. I didn't feel I was inside my body, as though I was somewhere up in the corner of a room looking down on myself. However, my balance was okay so perhaps your problem is something entirely different and related to your stroke. I was told this out-of-body feeling was caused by anxiety and a symptom that scared a lot of people. Once this was explained I felt much better and started recovering. Apart from your balance, you don't say how your head feels and I'm sure when you see your neurologist he/she will put your mind at rest. In the meantime, try to fill your time with the activities that have been suggested to you on this site. I walk with a quad stick but indoors only. Most of my progress, if not all, has been made since my return from hospital, some six months ago now, but I'm still not doing as much as I'd like. My walking is not as good as I'd like, very slow and laboured. My leg swings out from the hip and I know I should be able to lift my knee but don't seem able to. My left arm is still very weak, with only minimal movement in my fingers. I've been told very recently that my community physio sessions may end quite soon, so I'm exercising as much as I can to try to improve. My mood is very low on some days, particularly if I've had a poor night's sleep. 

This forum is a great source of help and inspiration. I do hope you begin to feel better soon.

Take care and God Bless.

Anne xx

Thanks for your reply anne. I am much obliged the thing that caused my head to be as bad as it is  was because I have double vision and had a botox injection into the muscle of my eye to cure it and unfortunately the botox spilled into the good muscle and caused double vision vertically instead of horizontally as before that was 2 years ago and my stroke was june 2017 3 years ago and I had slight trouble with my head but the botox spill has made it worse. The form I signed before the procedure did not mention that could happen I would not have signed it if I had known. Looks as though I am stuck with it unless the neurologist can help me. Thanks again. Best wishes Norma.

Hi Norma

You are doing all the right things and just remember it's not a 5 minute fix. Some people have taken a long time and you need to tell people it's not an illness but a brain injury. It is awful when your head feels as though you are in a fog mine was like that at the beginning but has got better and I try to do the balance exercises every day. You do get to feel "why should you bother" but it will hopefully get better. Slowly, slowly, it will improve. You have been very courageous so far so don't give up. Best wishes Rita