I have had debilitating 2 strokes, one in mid 2016 and the other in mid 2023. I seem to have lost all of my friends and colleagues now. I only see my close relatives. Maybe I remind my contemporaries of their own mortality, I don’t know, but I feel like I’ve been brushed under the carpet. I joined a few Zoom sessions on the Stroke Association’s website but that didn’t hack it for me. Does anyone feel the same?
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Hi Philip
I could be mistaken but I don’t think you’ve joined our -the communities- Thursday one which isn’t supported organised sponsored or anything else by the stroke association just us wobblers see Weekly Zoom
The stories of people who have seen the profile of their social circle change after stroke is common. Especially where we the #StrokeWarrior now has anxiety and/ or mobility issues.
I remember you said you are being fed through a peg but I don’t remember if you suggested your age or and mobility etc? I only mention because it will be a factor in suggesting ways to build a social circle.
If your mobile and able I’m sure there are plenty of groups in your local area from walking and foraging, cooking and art, museum or church crawling, fitness and exercise, language learning, crafts and hobbies.
If you’re not so mobile then there are plenty of things like book clubs and even exercise classes that are online so require no physical travel only travel of the mind 
As well as the traditional sources of those sorts of connections like age UK I have local antique shops that advertise classes EG: in bookbinding and block print making, upcycling etc. As well as my local Hobbycraft advertising classes on crochet or glass painting etc
My library advertises council run activities like forest walks and mushroom collecting and also provides a gym. Local community centres have coffee mornings full of people going just to meet others - going initially is a challenge but after a couple of times may be much easier
I realise that you’re interests may be alternative to mine but if you suggest things that I’m sure those of us on the forum can suggest other avenues and I know that if you came to Thursday you’d find folk who are very accepting (They might be enthusiastic to talk a little too much for you to get a word in initially but if you raise a hand they (including me!!!) will all shut up!!
Apologies if this is teaching you to eggs and you have already tried these avenues
Caio
Simon
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Hi Simon, we have met on zoom at one of the Stroke Association events a few moths ago. I am 64 years old, fed entirely by PEG and not very mobile. My wife, Lynn, is my carer. I rely on my children to take me out as I can no longer drive since my second stroke, last year. They both work.
I tried reading after my first stroke. About half a page in I get the words muddled up and returning to the page I find that I’ve forgotten what’s going on. Listening to audible books I’ve found that I fall asleep after a page!
The rest in your text I can’t remember. It doesn’t show your text as I’m typing the reply. Sorry.
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I do a zoom exercise class every Tuesday but my heart only works at 35% so I get tired very very easily.
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I used to go to council run electric exercise chair sessions but my right foot developed Charcot 5 years ago and is at 90 degrees to my knee. Fifty percent of the chairs had clips for your forward facing feet!
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Oh yes, Philip,
I do feel the same ; one doesn’t get popular by having a stroke. The good news is you are not alone, over 1 million people have had a stroke in the UK, and are alive and kicking. I lost many friends… suddenly they went quiet and shriveled up and disappeared. Not all, but many. And part of the problem is that I’ve lost mobility for the moment, and so I’m a lot less exciting to be around (perhaps that’s all in my mind?) I see you’ve had it rough… I’ve often felt the threat of Charcot foot knocking at the door, but I think / hope I have avoided it. Now with RLT I have another tool for my rehab.
Anyway, you could always come to a Thursday meeting here or other meetings, and nothing is stopping you from searching for & making new friends… but yes, I do understand you.
Not sure my post has helped, but
good luck, and have fun, ciao, Roland
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That’s problematic if you don’t know how to navigate.
Assuming you’re using a mobile phone & it set to mobile phone interface (check by using the three bar hamburger menu on the menu that opens
It looks like this
Then you are all set
But
If you need / want to switch from desktop mode Click here for further detail
Your screen looks like to this
The three bar hamburger menu is in the top left hand corner and when you open the menu with it you get
you to switch to mobile mode on your mobile phone or tablet by clicking on the portrait orientated phone icon
Note that in desktop mode you get an edit window and a preview and a bar change the amount of screen showing the post you’re applying to - may prefer this layout?
Back to how to see post you are replying too…
Now…
Click the small down arrow on the right hand side of the edit window
Then
your message will become a blue bar at the bottom of the screen
so you are able to see the post your reply to or any searches or other posts you’ve opened the meantime. The phones Back button (<) to return if you open other posts via research - very easy to get lost here¡
When you click on the blue bar it will return to being on the screen so you can put more text in unless you click the little x on it and then you can either discard or save draft for later
If you’ve opened up posts while the blue bar was on screen then when you come to save your comment it will ask you do you want to save to be thread you are replying to for the currently open one on screen
To see the drafts you have saved you need to click your icon in the top right corner and then the head and shoulders icon and then the draughts menu entry
This is a platform with every facility you could dream of and NO documentation on how to use any of them or even that they are there 
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Hi Philip, sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely. As others have said unfortunately losing touch with friends following a stroke is quite common. Have you tried attending a Stroke Survivors Support group. One of the most useful things I have done since my stroke, was attending a Stroke Survivors support group with my husband. We found a group local to us through the charity Different Strokes and we both found it very helpful and informative. There were stroke survivors from 19 to 70 attending and we both learned so much from listening to other people’s stories. We had nights out and met up on occasions outside the group setting. Some people came alone and some with partners or carers.
Unfortunately Covid 19 came along and the group was forced to close and never opened again. Speaking to someone who knows exactly what you are going through is priceless and I will be forever grateful to the lovely people who we met at the meetings.
I hope you find something to help soon.
Regards Sue
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Oh Simon thank you so much 
Switching for mobile to desktop mode is something I never even thought let alone consider:sweat_smile: And I’m having to use my mobile at the moment because my hubby’s hogging the computer for his geneology 
As the saying goes, you learn something new every day 
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@PhilipS sorry to hear you’re feeling lonely. It’s so difficult when life changes so much & people disappear from your life.
Our local council have a volunteer system where people can come & visit & help you out or chat or take you to local places or offer phone calls yo people who just want someone to chat too. It’s not the same as going out but might help.
Could your wife take you to visit people / places? Do you have a local dial a ride (might be called something else where you live( where uou can call for transport & then maybe you could attend a local group. We have a community centre where people meet for tea & cake or lunch or just to chat.
Yes it will all be tiring but it will give you a morale boost i’m sure.
Best wishes
Ann
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Hi Ann, I’ll give it go. My wife doesn’t drive. However, if dial a ride take wheel chairs, I’ll try.
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Our dial a ride take wheelchairs so fingers crossed 
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Hi Simon, I’ve done it! Well sort of. I’m just switching between your missives and my reply.
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Fantastic
Well done @PhilipS
&
Our Thursday zoom cafes Weekly Zoom
does exactly what @Susan_Jane says above in terms of helping people share there experience without any script or presentations but doesn’t require any travel eg see
I ran it during covid when I had my stroke and needed information I couldn’t get and we still carry on
Youll find Different Strokes inter-active map of local groups https://differentstrokes.co.uk/all-groups/
There is a map of stroke association affiliated groups here Map of local support groups | Stroke Association
Ask your local charities about other groups they might know because being affiliated to the charities has baggage that people don’t always feel helps.
Caio
Simon
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I have found that most people disappear and I don’t think it’s because of my physical limitations, which were there for years previously, anyway, but there have been changes to my outward appearance, social personality and mood, and I have come to realise that many people don’t want to have to deal with that or don’t know how to be of help.
It’s easier for people to just get on with their busy lives and assume somebody somewhere is seeing I am getting all the support and social contact I require.
Those that do stick around are the really true friends, who often have been through challenging life experiences themselves.
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