I have had debilitating 2 strokes, one in mid 2016 and the other in mid 2023. I seem to have lost all of my friends and colleagues now. I only see my close relatives. Maybe I remind my contemporaries of their own mortality, I don’t know, but I feel like I’ve been brushed under the carpet. I joined a few Zoom sessions on the Stroke Association’s website but that didn’t hack it for me. Does anyone feel the same?
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Hi Simon, we have met on zoom at one of the Stroke Association events a few moths ago. I am 64 years old, fed entirely by PEG and not very mobile. My wife, Lynn, is my carer. I rely on my children to take me out as I can no longer drive since my second stroke, last year. They both work.
I tried reading after my first stroke. About half a page in I get the words muddled up and returning to the page I find that I’ve forgotten what’s going on. Listening to audible books I’ve found that I fall asleep after a page!
The rest in your text I can’t remember. It doesn’t show your text as I’m typing the reply. Sorry.
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I do a zoom exercise class every Tuesday but my heart only works at 35% so I get tired very very easily.
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I used to go to council run electric exercise chair sessions but my right foot developed Charcot 5 years ago and is at 90 degrees to my knee. Fifty percent of the chairs had clips for your forward facing feet!
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Oh yes, Philip,
I do feel the same ; one doesn’t get popular by having a stroke. The good news is you are not alone, over 1 million people have had a stroke in the UK, and are alive and kicking. I lost many friends… suddenly they went quiet and shriveled up and disappeared. Not all, but many. And part of the problem is that I’ve lost mobility for the moment, and so I’m a lot less exciting to be around (perhaps that’s all in my mind?) I see you’ve had it rough… I’ve often felt the threat of Charcot foot knocking at the door, but I think / hope I have avoided it. Now with RLT I have another tool for my rehab.
Anyway, you could always come to a Thursday meeting here or other meetings, and nothing is stopping you from searching for & making new friends… but yes, I do understand you.
Not sure my post has helped, but
good luck, and have fun, ciao, Roland
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Hi Philip, sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely. As others have said unfortunately losing touch with friends following a stroke is quite common. Have you tried attending a Stroke Survivors Support group. One of the most useful things I have done since my stroke, was attending a Stroke Survivors support group with my husband. We found a group local to us through the charity Different Strokes and we both found it very helpful and informative. There were stroke survivors from 19 to 70 attending and we both learned so much from listening to other people’s stories. We had nights out and met up on occasions outside the group setting. Some people came alone and some with partners or carers.
Unfortunately Covid 19 came along and the group was forced to close and never opened again. Speaking to someone who knows exactly what you are going through is priceless and I will be forever grateful to the lovely people who we met at the meetings.
I hope you find something to help soon.
Regards Sue
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Oh Simon thank you so much 
Switching for mobile to desktop mode is something I never even thought let alone consider:sweat_smile: And I’m having to use my mobile at the moment because my hubby’s hogging the computer for his geneology 
As the saying goes, you learn something new every day 
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@PhilipS sorry to hear you’re feeling lonely. It’s so difficult when life changes so much & people disappear from your life.
Our local council have a volunteer system where people can come & visit & help you out or chat or take you to local places or offer phone calls yo people who just want someone to chat too. It’s not the same as going out but might help.
Could your wife take you to visit people / places? Do you have a local dial a ride (might be called something else where you live( where uou can call for transport & then maybe you could attend a local group. We have a community centre where people meet for tea & cake or lunch or just to chat.
Yes it will all be tiring but it will give you a morale boost i’m sure.
Best wishes
Ann
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Hi Ann, I’ll give it go. My wife doesn’t drive. However, if dial a ride take wheel chairs, I’ll try.
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Our dial a ride take wheelchairs so fingers crossed 
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Hi Simon, I’ve done it! Well sort of. I’m just switching between your missives and my reply.
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I have found that most people disappear and I don’t think it’s because of my physical limitations, which were there for years previously, anyway, but there have been changes to my outward appearance, social personality and mood, and I have come to realise that many people don’t want to have to deal with that or don’t know how to be of help.
It’s easier for people to just get on with their busy lives and assume somebody somewhere is seeing I am getting all the support and social contact I require.
Those that do stick around are the really true friends, who often have been through challenging life experiences themselves.
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