Life is really terrible

Have found out that good friend has cancer never smoked always fit, started as skin cancer got treated that was years ago now come back as lung and liver, lymph node what do you say to them life really is sxxt

You tell him you love him, and that you’re there for him just to talk. Call him every once in a while, and just say you’re checking in on him, how’s he doing. One thing about having a serious illness is that it is very isolating, because everyone avoids you because they don’t know what to say and are very uncomfortable. Force yourself through that discomfort and make contact, so he doesn’t feel so alone. If you are able and he is able, spend some time with him. That’s the best I can offer. So sorry about your friend.


@Mickyboy so sorry to hear your friend has cancer. I remember receiving that news about my dad.

Just be the best friend you can to them as they will need you to help them through. Try & keep things as normal as possible as I’m sure that’s what they’ll want.

Thoughts are with you & your friend. Stay strong & you’ll get through it together.


Sorry to hear this Mickeyboy. Unfortunately, bad things happen. I have one old friend who has had cancer for three years and who surprises me by how cheerful and optimistic he is. I have another old friend given six months to live who is still here 15 years later. Having cancer is dreadful but while there’s life there’s hope.

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Sorry to hear u news just be the best friend you can be with kind regards des

Thanks yes I’ve phone and had chat he’s doing ok ish having chemotherapy will see how it goes


I’m not doing ok black dog is back

Hey Mickyboy there’s black dogs and black dogs. I’m not being flippant here but I find getting up to do something some times moves him on . Anything, making cup of tea or looking out of window. I have an egg timer, set it for30 minutes, sit there and listen to it ticking away, concentrating on it and not thinking. It’s bloody hard but takes your mind off black lab. Give it a try, it’s my version of mindfulness
One early morning watched a town fox zig zagging down road it stopped when it found an Icecream cone, crunched it up I imagined I could hear it. Could you put out scraps of food for night time-wildlife
in well lit position and see what turns up. A rats better company than your black dog. You will beat it. Ok some days you have to sit it out but we know you will get there


Thanks but it’s the isolation for days don’t see any one

@Mickyboy it’s difficult when you have long periods of time on your own. I get those too but try and fill my time with things to do. @Loshy has some good suggestions. The Stroke Association also has a Here for You service which you could try. They match you to someone who will phone you for a chat. Maybe worth looking into? Link to details below.

Sending good wishes to you.

Ann xx


Mickyboy–I get depressed, too, if I don’t see anyone for a long time. Humans are social beings and need others to feel good. What can you do to not be so isolated on those days where you don’t see people? Can you use a computer to “zoom visit” people, or do you have a phone that can “face time” people?" It would be great if you did, because there are so many out there that are feeling the same way, and there are probably groups that meet regularly on “zoom”. During covid, our ukulele class at the senior center was closed, but we met 2x a week on the computer. It was almost like bieng there. Now half our doctor visits are live, via computer. This new technology seems a little daunting at first for us older folks, but once used to it, it’s really not that bad. Anyway, thinking of you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:Jeanne