Is it just wishful thinking

I had my stroke in March of this year , like everyone didn’t think it would happen to me especially at52 . I was discharge 2 days later with memory loss and vision problems on the left side , what has really hit me is the bouts of depression  I kept telling myself to get a grip as reading some of the discussions and the way it has left a lot of people I then think quite selfishly how much worse it could have been . I try to think positive about recovering and no and have read the articles it’s all about time and rest  but I just stop myself looking into the dark abyss I no talking helps the problem I find myself in now is I find it hard to be with people  it’s the old story always worked in environments we’re you didn’t let anyone thanks mark 

Mark, Welcome to the forum. You are in very early days and these are the worst. This is when the dark abyss is worst. I am three years on, but in the first months I expected to die every night and thought my life was over. It does get better, but you must fight to make it so. Yes, in the early days conversation is hard and concentration is well nigh impossible. Over time the dark moods ease, but never quite disappear. You also learn a lot about others. People you thought friends disappear or prove to be uninterested. Others praise you for ‘doing well’. You have to learn to walk again, you wobble on your feet, you have irrational moods. Then it eases again and, miracle of miracles, you have the odd good day. I am now 75 and my time left is limited. Yes, I am angry I have lost three years, but I have recovered reasonably well and am still making progress. Good luck on your journey.

Dear Mark

As John says, it is very early days. You are on a long path of recovery.

Yes you will need loads of time and rest, but its not all rest all day every day. You will soon be able to do a few things and to effect your recovery.

Yes it is essential to be positive if you are to get recovery. Think about what you can do and not what you can not. Above all, think about the fact that many will pass away when a stroke bites. You and me have been chosen to live.

Many, possibly most, of us SS get hit by waves of depression. I think its a standard reaction from our hurting brains. Long before stroke I had one bout of clinical depression and I am not going through that again. So when the waves of depression attack you, make sure you are in charge. Dont let it get to you. Amazingly, if you smile as soon as a wave attacks, then that smile will normally ward off the depression. 

Dont be too scared of depression. Medication and counselling will become available if the depression wins. It will set your recovery back (?three months?) so you really dont want that. This first three month period is when recovery is greatest, so to loose that to depression is not good.

I keep a stroke diary and monitor the improvements. A good look back six months shows me how far I have come. Recovery is so slow we can hardly notice it.

I am assuming you had a full stroke. If so, then we have to accept that the old Mark has gone and will not be coming back. A new Mark is rising.

I find counselling a big help. Ask your GP surgery to fix some, but it has to be with a stroke specialist. Relaxation sessions is good. Or no doubt meditation/yoga/tai chi are equally so. 

Because you are a new person it will be difficult to get on with other people. Do go to your local stroke group. It is totally different to be with other stroke survivors.

And someone will usually be on this forum , although I am lost trying to find my way around it.

You are not alone.

best wishes


Thanks for that Colin’s helps to hear what you’re saying and makes me see things differently  I really try to think positive and hear what you say about not letting it win thanks for the time you’ve taken to reply mark 

Thanks Jeff you always think that your on your own until you hear from people like your self and Colin I’ve never as most of us on here can say  one to air my thoughts as I’ve always thought them trivial next to others . I will try to keep positive thanks again for ya support and your time mark

Hi, I'm 7 years a stroke survivor, in the early days after my stroke I found music a great way to distract my self from the bouts of anxiety and depression and the realisation that my whole life had now changed irrevocably. I found then and still do find it difficult to sit and read for a long period of time and prior to my stroke I  was an avid reader and to some extent still am; to combat this I found a new distraction therapy, I changed the focus of my reading. I find short online courses help (check out Future Learn - they do short courses in loads of subjects and give you the option to take it further into

an OU course). If you're able do something physical, then do it, I found chair yoga a brilliant way to relax and take myself away from that enveloping darkness; the nature of my stroke badly affected my body but thankfully left my brain and speech intact, some slight problems in extended periods of just sitting hence the course and the yoga. It is really important that you develop a good support network among your friends and family and to say No I'm not okay but please could you just sit with me, I don't want to talk (or do) I just need to know you're here. I hope you find the right things for you but please remember you are not alone.

Hi Mark, I had mine at the same age which was four years ago, we can all relay stories about how it happened but I think for most of us it's how we got on after. I couldn't walk etc and it was bit of a battle but I refused to be beaten. Quite quick progress initially but then it settled down, the result though is that I am walking, and within reason can have a crack at anything. With some things you have to turn your mind to try learning how to do it again. It does get frustrating but keep plodding on and I hope you will notice gradual improvements, you will get there, also accept that especially in the early days things will make you unbelievably tired & sleep is a good medicine in the right doses!! I did lots of sleep, some days I could push for a couple of hours or so, on other days ten minutes and I was of no use to man or beast. If you're really lucky you even get to the point that you can remember what you were going to write about...

I hope that makes sense & keep pushing it's worth it the rewards are excellent. Regards Phil

Cheers Phil I understand what your saying at first it was so hard and still is the difference is now I have people I can chat to that really no the problems thanks mark 

Thank you