Intermediate carers stopping

well 6 weeks is finally up so that means the 2 carers I had coming in to help me with gary is stopping unless I pay towards it, which obviously we can’t afford at the moment so expect me to be asking for advice and help from all you lovely people ?

Hi June, I remember how quickly those 6 weeks went past.  Although we didn't have carers, there was usually a daily visit from OT, physio, nurse etc and I felt rather bereft once that stopped.  I just told myself that someone somewhere probably needed the help more than us, and managed to convince myself that we would manage.  As a sort of safety net, I had the number of the sroke discharge team and was ready ring them if needed.  (Which I did once when my husband was feeling scarily 'down hearted').  

Now looking back, one year, I can see that you reach a point where you have to try to 'go it alone', (but it depends what level of independence your husband has).  It feels quite scary at first, because there's still so much to learn, but just take things slowly, don't look too far ahead. The most important thing is making time to rest, some days neither of you will feel like doing anything at all - that's fine, listen to your body, follow your instincts.  There's definitely not a "Manual" for this !!  We still have days where we do very little, especially at w/ends when we don't have to work.

You're stronger than you think; you will find ways to cope, and gradually life will improve.  It feels easy for me to say that, as it's been a year of learning to cope, but it's true for us.  I've learned to lower my expectations, not to make too many plans and most importantly to 'go with the moment'.  Keep checking this site and take the advice of stroke survivors who will give you ideas, support, and sometimes just make you laugh out loud with their poignant anecdotes laugh

Thinking of you both, best of luck xx

aww thanks I know your right I guess I’m just scared doing it myself, if gary could walk I would feel more confident but I still have to move him around using a return we got from the hospital x



Fortunately my husband was mobile when he came home, very wobbly but could move around pretty much unaided, so you do have different issues to deal with.  If you've been shown how to use the aid safely you should be ok, but if you don't feel happy about it I would think you might need a care package until Gary is able to take his own weight during transferring.  Take your time, and try to find the best technique for you both, but I would be ready to shout for help if there are problems which would make either of you unsafe.

I would feel the same in your position - will be thinking of you, nice and steady does it!! 

when did your husband have his stroke and how’s he doing he able to go back to work 

Hi June - sorry I've only just found this message, which is now really out of date frown .  My husband's stroke was 29th Aug 2017.  So we've passed the year - the worst one in 36 years together!!  But we're here, and thanks to advice from lovely people on this site, I think we've done pretty well smiley He has to work full-time, plus weekends and evenings frequently, because he has his own company to run, with lots of people depending on him for their livelihoods.  I'd like to be able to retire to give him support with everything, even if I just act a taxi-driver to take him to meetings etc, but I've got 2 more years, unless I win the stroke lottery???!!!  

Best wishes to you & Gary - looking forward to your posts xx