If you enjoy my writing - here's a link to Bobbi's Blog, where there is more

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Around 5 am
November, 2024
Building a life

I have been writing, since stroke, on an old laptop as a sort of conversation on the Internet with others who enjoy my sense of humour and are interested in my stroke adventures and musings.

I have been blogging, in a small way, for some time about my stroke which happened nearly three years ago. I will likely continue to post here on the Forum with the usual variety of material relevant to my stroked life.

@Alex_Moderator got me started on this path.

I am grateful for the confidence boost and support she gave me. She encouraged me to express what I carry around in my stroked head.

Getting all this out has won me friends and taught me that sharing with others enriches life and is a worthwhile pursuit.

I would suggest that writing your thoughts and experiences here can be a help to both you and others.

So give it a try. In the main folk here are friendly, helpful, interested and supportive.

Anyway, here’s a link to the latest post at my Bobbi’s Blog, it hasn’t made me wealthy but has enriched my life in so many ways, as has this Forum. I’d like to think that you might find it interesting.

Please click the Follow button on the blog post to show support.

keep on keepin’ on
:writing_hand: :grinning: :+1:
Bobbi
:heart:

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Good to see you writing again. I always enjoy reading your prose & hope you’ll continue to share your progress. Good to see you have some wheels now & I’m sure your confidence getting out & about will grow.

Best wishes

Ann

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@Mrs5K

Thank you for taking the time to comment. I have always valued what you have to say.

I am going through a complicated and difficult patch right now both here on this forum and in my ‘real world’.

I don’t feel as confident or as comfortable in this forum any more, I see I still have some support but there is also a faceless ‘community’ that does not appear to like me or what I write.

It seems they imagine they can dictate my output rather than allow me to speak my truth. Flagging my posts has become a way to diminish what I have to say.

I have been on this forum for almost three years and you can check and see what I have been writing. It has always been well received.

That is until very recently when this faceless ‘community’ began to stir things up.

I have no quarrel with anyone here but it does seem there are some who are dead against me.

I am almost certain that this will become another flagged post and that I will be instructed to edit it, once more.

I have read it through a few times and I don’t believe it needs changing. Neither do I believe that my writing style or its content needs to change. I do believe that what I write has a place here.

I am a red head and do attract attention that is not always welcome or deserved. Being somwhat advanced in years I have become used to this and am thick skinned enough to cope. However if the phenomenon is repeated ad nauseam it can leave me somewhat tetchy.

I will leave you with that and wish you well.

keep on keepin on
bobbi
:writing_hand: :grinning: :+1:

(I had a stroke almost three years ago and have been writing and recordinng my experiences and thoughts here almost uninterrupted during that time. Sometimes life is challenging, the picture is not always pretty but truth helps put things in their place.
I feel that sharing is useful to readers and writers alike. I look forward both to writing and hearing what you have to say. Let’s see what the future will bring.)

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Hi @Bobbi - actually Hi Everyone

You raise concerns that are undoubtedly important to the community as a whole and do not currently have a healthy escape valve :slight_smile: or discussion space.

For the avoidance of any doubt I have only ever flagged one of your posts - it contained a picture that was very similar to one that had been removed “as offensive” posted by somebody else - What I flagged was to admin that the quality of policing was not being applied evenly and not any objection to your content or the previous content - both of which I thought were positive contributions to community folklore and camaraderie

I too have recently had posts met with messages saying “your post was hidden by the community” and also messages on some occasions that say “unless you change XY or z Your post will be deleted (or not restored)”.

There is quite a backlog now of posts with as much or more(!) relevance as your bread (Which I support because they are a valuable contribution to the spirit of shared community) that have been hidden or deleted

I think I read between the lines that you find judgement about your contributions made in good faith and with no ability to reply or question the validity of the decision emotionally very difficult to cope with - I definitely do. Maybe you do have the ability to reply because your comment about “Alex has been encouraging to you” would suggest that you are able to have dialogue where I never have.

I don’t have inside information but I suspect that the community of #StrokeThrivers (a term I use in favour of #StrokeWarrior because you expressed discomfort with the latter) are not the source of your stress and upset.

I notice that we have less enthusiasm from some of the core contributors of the last 2 years. There is an element of natural cyclic rhythm to a community but We have lost some of them with all their valuable posts too - and that is less natural evolution of community.

Curation of a community is a subtle and complex art.

One aspect is that Society has established conventions and traditions that we have grown up in and that our parents grew up in and so communicated cultural values and expectations that even if they were not explicitly expressed are important parts of our social fabric. Such as the separation of the state and the judiciary. We saw in Mr Bates vs the Post Office the sort of consequences that happened when they are recombined. I think they are root causes outside of the post office too.

Bobby I thank you for raising a crucial topic. I hope that your efforts will lead to dialogue rather than the suppression of expressions of the pain that the current situation is causing for both you and I and I suspect others :frowning:

Contributed in good faith
Simon
SIG

Ps sadly has become necessary to preserve what we don’t want to lose or find changed outside of version control - So I’ve taken that precaution.

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@Bobbi sorry to hear that you’re having some difficulties right now & i hope things settle for you.

I have always enjoyed your contributions on the forum & they have often made me smile. I guess these types of forums have many people who come and go & everyone has different tastes so what appeals to some doesn’t to others. If I see a post that i don’t like or agree with I generally just scroll past unless I take real umbrage at something then I may flag it. Can’t remember the last time I flagged a post though.

I assume from your comments that some of your posts have recently been flagged? I haven’t seen them so can’t offer any specific comments on why but would hope that any invitation to edit explains why they feel it needs editing.

Your contributions are, as are everyone elses, very valuable here and i hope you continue to contribute. I miss my regular smile.

Sending best wishes to you and Hilary.

Ann xx

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Just read you latest blog and if I lived a bit closer I’d soon have you out and about and building your confidence. There are so many ways to do that but it takes time to build confidence back up after a trauma like ours. Frustratingly so at times because everything has to be in small steps and stages and some times you just want to get on with it, but your stroke brain holds you back.

Youtube is a good place to look for how to get up off the floor.
Maybe try searches for
“over 50’s getting up after a fall”
“over 50s getting up from floor with only one arm and leg”

But also try watching clips how the paraplegics and amputees get up off the floor after a fall In my view they are closer our reality than any of the able bodied demonstrations you find on there. You’ll pick up methods and little tips on what you can use round you to aid in getting back up.

As for the flagging of your posts, I think that’s despicable and unnecessary. If people don’t like what they read, they should go away and come back to it again a time or two before they flag a post like that. They may have misconstrued what has been written. I know I have to be careful what I read because of my aphasia. I frequently read things incorrectly, particularly when tired and I’m not the only one on here with aphasia. So I’m often having to reread posts I either don’t understand or might annoy me until I get all the words fully processed in my head. I drop words as I’m reading just the same as in my typing. Tis the nature of the beast with aphasia and people need to consider that before pushing buttons. And I certainly haven’t seen anything that could warrant flagging since you’ve been back.

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Thank you @EmeraldEyes
I have reached a point where your words are relevant, providing support and encouragement in a very positive fashion.

I have spent much time on this forum passing around similar messages. Now it seems it is my turn to be on the receiving end.

I reached a low point where down seemed to be the only way to go. I am savvy enough and experienced enough to know I simply must not allow that to happen. This is where being able to speak out is so important. Only in a supportive environment can one do that and even so one needs to be brave to admit to having problems and feeling vulnerable.

It definitely isn’t just about me and we all have a huge problem that having a stroke dumps on us.

It is here and now that peer support, a listening ear and a little compassion makes a huge difference. I think that having been disabled opens one up to understanding the dilemma and burden that many of us carry. Even showing how it is possible to cope and make a go of things. These are only words but they can make a huge difference.

@EmeraldEyes

keep on keepin’ on
bobbi
:heart:

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Bobbi, you have to make the most of the life you’ve got left because, in my book, giving up is so much harder and a very lonely existence . . . Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.

And I am so glad you feel you are now at that point where my words are relevant. Oh ye of little faith. Did I have more faith in you than you had in yourself? Yes you’re a redhead, and I’ve never met a redhead who isn’t a fighter :slightly_smiling_face: You just need to use that fight to get what pleasure you can out of life :grin:

I go to all my fitness classes not only to for the gains I make in this journey of recovery. It may have started out that way, but now its more for the social aspects of it. Its the means to good end for me because I’ve made a lot of new friends, met some wonderful characters both old and young over the past few years, and we always have a good laugh and banter. And that is what gets me up in the morning! To keep on keeping on :wink:

I was asked the other day, who’s my favourite instructor. They’re all my favourites! To me they all bring something new, unique, different to the classes, even if its just their personalities.
In every class there are always the excercises you like and those you don’t…I hate the battle ropes. But you don’t give up the class because of it. You don’t cut off your nose to spite your face, because you’re the only one who loses out, you cry alone! Instead you either carry on regardless or you just skip over that particular one.

I use much the same principles on forums :wink:
If I don’t like something someone says, well, i don’t know them and they certainly don’t know me so who cares, I just move on. Life is just too short for me to give a damn, I could be dead tomorrow.

Stroke Improvement Group

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Thanks @EmeraldEyes that is excellent stuff and so right, so relevant.

I’m just searching around for my bootstraps right now,

I’ll be back up there and smiling any minute now.

keep on keepin’ on
:writing_hand: :grinning: :+1:
bobbi

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Hi everyone,

We’d like to take a moment to remind all members of an important community guideline:

  • Do not talk about or complain about moderators’ decisions in public, like suspensions or complaints. These posts will be removed.

It’s important that the community remains focused on providing peer support, connection, and positive engagement. Publicly discussing or questioning moderation decisions takes the forum away from this purpose.

We ask all members to respect this rule so that the community continues to be a safe and supportive environment for everyone.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Anna

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I beg to differ, that is just not true! Discussions on moderation does not take anything away from the peer support we provide. The posts still get answered…and it takes minds off more distressing things. :wink:

Lorraine
Stroke Improvement Group

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@EmeraldEyes

I would have thought that it is obvious that those sharing with others here do so out of a desire to build, to openly share, to hopefully improve one another’s lot.

Whether it is to lighten the load by the use of humour, to inform and thereby improve a situation, or to share sympathy when things get too much to bear, we are here with constructive and positive intent.

As someone who has suffered stroke it is just by that fellow feeling that sometimes we are made aware of another’s lot and can say or do the ‘right thing’.
This right thing does not come from a dead formula of rules and instructions.
It is there in the heart and not on a printed page in black and white. Force will never apply the right kind of pressure.

Many years ago I was a Mentor, on a huge world wide game site.
A Mentor was a sort of moderators’ moderator.
There were less than a dozen of us over hundreds of moderators worldwide, functioning 24/7, we had contact with the higher echelons of the company and dealt with all sorts of issues, online and in game.
A certain amount of Forum work was also a part of this.
There were regular meetings where policy and administration, even game content were discussed and implemented.

As a result of this I learned a little of what takes place behind the scenes.

My interest now is to see what those who have had a stroke can do to lighten the load of others in the same plight, especially for those new onto the scene who desperately need direction and fellow feeling.

It is good to get help, but it is equally good to give support. We all heal and grow in this way.

:writing_hand: :grinning: :+1:
keep on keepin’ on
bobbi

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