When I arrived home from hospital I found myself getting angry and annoyed so many times. I had been away from my home and family for over 4 months by that time my lovely adult daughter ran the home and my son took on the “man rol” due to my husband’s disability I then found it difficult to slot back in to my role….i cried I got angry at my stroke as my independent life had been taken away from me. They all were doing a grand job, but ‘not the way I’d ran it’(if that makes sense?) I’m grateful of course I am!I talked to my family how I felt but they were too emotionally close to me so I was a bit reserved…as to what to tell them so….i bought myself a book wrote down my feelings my thoughts my anger my “soddit days” an felt a little better for it. Living in close proximity with my family looking after me there were times of frustration blame, depression feeling sorry for them or for me…the time of adjustment is still going on I’ve been home just before Christmas time until now and still I use my big notebook it’s better than shouting at someone I guess.
Close friends went ———-> out the door so it was hard times.
I put this here to see if anyone can relate if only a little bit
The aftermath of stroke is a bereavement for the life you have lost. I think we have all felt your feelings of rage and wanting to shout at the universe. Your son and daughter want to do all they can to support your recovery. When you get used to being home you will be able to take on more tasks.
Sue - If I am not mistaken, what you are doing is called journalling and it is a great way to get things out of your system. Just putting things down on paper (or electronic journals) is very therapeutic.
Well done. Love will get you through this.
Losing close friends is not all that unusual at times like this, sad though it is 
You have new friends on this forum 
Takes care 
Sue,
nobody who has not had a stroke can understand what we go though. Our family would freak out if they knew what we endure. You must get the story out though, however you can: my book is at 90,000 words after almost 2.5 years.
Plenty of friends ran a mile, but not all. I met some new friends because of stroke. You are not alone, I and many can relate to what you are going through
Good luck, Roland
Here is my journey
https://www.youtube.com/@Start-Again-xyz
Absolutely Roland I follow you on you tube.
Hi Sue, I kept a diary for a couple of years after my stroke. It was a great way to vent my feelings but also to document my progress. I still keep a sort of diary it not to the extent it once was.
I found it difficult to tell people how I felt so i started to write a little bit of poetry. Nothing special but it did help me get my feelings out in a constructive way. I showed this poetry to family & friends & it helped them understand thr impact my stroke had had better. Pre stroke I never wrote a word of poetry but still found it therapeutic.
If it helps you keep writing in that diary. It’s good to get the frustrations out there and better than hurting those that love you and are trying to help you. Nobody does things the way we like them done and learning to let go is hard but if you can try and do so. It’ll be better for you in the end.
Best wishes
Ann
Thank you so much Ann for your comment I guess we may be twins😝as I do exactly that and for those reasons. I’m not a poet either but it’s good to dabble
Yes, I feel a lot of what you dand can relate a lot. I came home . expecting to pick up where I left off, butive been taken ove. Angry, friends too busy. Family great,but they all have their own lives too live…Ive been out 5 years now, but no transport. The loss of independance is the hardest to bear, and I do get angry at my poor husband. I dont mean to but he doesnt do it my way! Perhaps i’ll try the notebook.
Hi I am a very keen fan of journaling, I find it helpful to let what I am thinking or struggling with down on paper. I find once I let it out, it helps release the negative emotions or sometimes positive ones. I find it calming and I often might get creative and draw a sketch. I had my stroke age 11 and I wrote a letter to my younger self, my counsellor’s idea. Journalling is a positive process to help me find calm space in my mind.
That’s very young marnie 11 years old, how are you doing now? Drawing pictures is good therapy too, how do you feel looking back over your journal and experiences 
Well I am 47 now but when I had my stroke age 11 I had no support whatsoever no groups back then in Scotland other than chest heart stroke and I joined a physical therapy group full of older people, I went I done it but back then there was nothing particularly for younger victims. After being in hospital for months I came home and started high school that was really tough. starting high school hard enough but having a very bad stroke full left side hemiplegia. I didn’t have full movement in my arm and walked with a gait foot drop/limp. Emotionally I was never ready for high school but I went passed my exams went onto college and eventually got part time work. I was a support worker to adults with brain injury. Years after had a family one daughter which was huge obstacles to overcome, but I am still here. My journalling helps me find calm in darker days, like I say I find it better to get things out my head space. I feel positive but can on occasion like us all on bad days can feel less positive but I try do something to get my head into different thoughts and space. The journaling helps ground me.
That was hard so young too and peers can be so horrid and I can now understand why you drew pictures too. At least we’ve moved on now for younger people to get support now, are you on any online activities Marnie?
You’ve come a long way must have been difficult at times I can only imagine x