I posted a little while back about my husband, Robin, who had a stroke on Christmas Day. What has subsequently happened is quite a long story so please bear with me.
Robin initially started to slowly improve, he stopped leaning to the right, he went from needing two people to haul him out of bed to being able to walk with a frame and one person to steady him. His speech was improving but his confusion and delusions were still there though he seemed to start realising he was sometimes having a delusion or thinking his dreams were actually a reality. His word finding and memory were already compromised because of his epilepsy and something we managed together pretty well. He was moved out of a stroke ward onto a ward for people waiting for discharge. He still needed a lot of care but the plan was for him to go into respite care to continue his recovery.
The respite care was something I was talked into as I initially wanted to bring him straight home but I was told that they felt I would not cope well as I also care for my elderly dad who lives with us so, though I felt conflicted, I agreed for him to go in respite.
He was in the discharge ward for 6 weeks waiting and during that time he has had 3 falls, the first two he just bruised his backside but the last one, which happened a week ago, he ended up breaking his upper arm and collarbone, he tried to get out of bed in the night and fell, there was no nurse, she was making a cup of tea and left the ward unattended. He was sent back to a medical ward to deal with his injuries.
He has deteriorated rapidly in the last week, his cognition is terrible, he talks nonsense, he has become combative at times and will not keep his arm brace on, he was refusing medication, water and hardly eating, since Christmas he has dropped 2 stones. He is not the man I know and love dearly.
The thing is I understand that dementia is more of a risk for stroke sufferers but I wonder if this is just the result of him being stuck in hospital, depressed, missing home, with no interest in reading or listening to music, he now cannot walk with a frame because if losing the use of his right arm while it heals and he is laying there all day with no stimulation so no wonder his brain is inventing stuff.
The hospital said they wanted to get him walking again and then he will be put back into the discharge process and the interminable wait for a care home willing to take him for respite. I am at the stage that I am thinking that he needs to come home where he can be comfortable, with somebody who loves him and to be able to have some routine and stability, somebody who will do strengthening exercises and talk and engage and perhaps have a trip outside in a wheelchair, some fresh air, a life.
I feel that my darling Robin is slipping away and I am now convinced that if I had stuck to my guns and brought him home 6 weeks ago he would be in a much better place mentally, physically and emotionally and he would not have a painful broken arm and collarbone. Do you think I am being realistic? I made my first decision with my head not my heart and I think I was wrong. I feel like I need to get him out of there, I cannot stop crying. Any thoughts and advice would be appreciated by you as you have real experience.
03033033100 / 
