I can never forget

I realised today that everyday something hits me that I have had a stroke. Eight and half years on, and everyday I get a kick. I have tried to move on, well as much as you can with an incomplete recovery. But today it hit me harder than usual. All I did was put something in the bin.


Then the inevitable midday sleep hit. A strange dream. My dad, who passed many years ago, had started to change the house. I was annoyed, because he wouldn't let me help. So I went to find my tools, but I couldn't find them, the reason was that I hadn't bought them yet, because I was a kid again.


I woke with the usual confusion, expecting my dad to be there, or at least my brother, I haven't lived with my brother for over 30 years. But every time I wake, morning, noon, or night, I expect one of them to be present. It's strange, we were never a particularly close family, if anything, I was the problem solver. So why they feature so prominently, is beyond me. Even my old dog made an appearance.


But waking is the first reminder, if nothing else happens, waking two or three times every 24hrs, I am reminded.


I felt I had to share this, maybe because of the email from the association, maybe to try to exorcise a demon that is always present.