How can we help?

Hi all,

I posted recently about my dads craniectomy after two strokes. Yesterday, on our zoom call he seemed more alert which is just fantastic and he has been able to swallow some yoghurt and porridge! We are so so pleased and staying hopeful but wondered if anyone has any advice for how loved ones can help?
Every time we are able to talk to dad, I read the same recipe as he loves cooking and I hope the repetitiveness helps with his memory. We quite often play music that he loves or live football matches for him to listen to. Does anyone have any advice for anything we can do to help dads recovery? 
Thank you all so much in advance x

Dear Clootie

that sounds very promising news. 
what can you do to help ? Well you can be there consistently, which i think you are doing. 
try to mention things that have been done and dealt with that Dad usually does. Mention support you give to Mum as he will be concerned about her. 

avoid questions. Listen very carefully to what he says, make sure you dont ask him to repeat. Consider how you can keep comments clear and brief.

reassurance is top priority.

this wretched pandemic makes things so hard for you, it would be kind to shield dad from this. 

Dad has to make his own recovery, no one can help very much at all.

just be there for him, take any burdens off his shoulders.

best wishes


Hello Clootie

my husband had a stroke which left him with an inability to find the right words and numbers, also the inability to calculate the outcomes of his actions.  Encouraging him to do the exercises the speech therapist gave him helped but only for short periods and using patience to deal with his frustrations and anger outbursts.  Having now had a mini stroke myself which left me with a useless left hand and wrist I decided that I needed to re educate my wrist and then hand, stimulate the muscle memory and whilst doing that encourage the brain to seek new pathways to carry instructions to the affected parts by continually trying to get them to move.  This is only a housewife's theory but   It worked for me, my hand and wrist are weaker but are working.  The fatigue after a stroke is overwhelming but it gradually, very gradually improves.  Both of us find visitors and entertaining exhausting and better in short periods.  I wish you well.  Marylin

Really good to know you are seeing some progress ? those small steps are SO important and it's encouraging as recovery can be slow and long-term.  As Colin has suggested, just take things gradually, it can be very overwhelming for SSs to process language and activities, the sensory overload can be very tiring.  It sounds as though you are doing a great job, being supportive, but not demanding.  Don't be down-hearted if you have some days when nothing seems to be happening - the brain works away behind the scenes, doing its thing!!  and then one day Dad will surprise you by demonstrating that his brain has overcome another obstacle ??.

All good wishes xx