Hope for recovery

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I had a stroke 2 year ago,before I started going out it took a long time to have confidence in myself, I was 30 when I had the stroke, so I always feel people will mock me when they see me, and what is affecting me the most is unemployment, I was a working mum before but now no one will hire me I’m just at home all day and struggling to do a-lot of things myself, is too depressing , I keep wondering if I will ever be normal again?.

I’m wondering if is too late to regain my hand function, is been difficult to do everything with one hand, I know my walking is not perfect now but I am more worried about regaining the function of my left hand, my career just paused suddenly my dreams everything, and people just stare at me when they see me, I can’t walk fast or lift up my legs properly, I have a toddler I can’t even help prepare him for school.

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Hi @Esther2 and welcome to the stroke club no one ever wishes to join :people_hugging: And now that you are here, you can be doing a few hand exercises while you’re scrolling through the post :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

First off though, you are 30 odd years and this is real life, not the play ground. People will not mock you! They just won’t! And if anyone ever did, then they are clearly mentally immature and should be pitied because they’ve clearly got a problem and no real friends to call on in a crisis.

I presume physio gave you several exercises to get on with. But have you been doing any practical movements you would have naturally done in your pre stroke life with that arm/stroke. Things like reaching into cupboards, lifting a cup to your mouth. Try hold a can of milk in your stroke hand and lifting it up and down. And basically trying to involve your stroke hand in everything you would have done without thinking prior to your stroke. Natural life skills are far more important to retraining your brain than physio could ever do. Because those actions and movements are already in your head, your brain just needs to figure out a new pathway to them if it can. That’s why its so important to be doing these things from day one, alongside your physio exercises.

Things like reaching and grasping door handles, carrying the rubbish bag out to the bin, taking the wheelie bin to the kerb on bin day. You never forget that stroke/hand, never leave it out of anything you would used it for in the past. And you try 3 times before you resort to your good side.

But if you don’t even think to try incorporate your stroke hand in your daily life anymore, then eventually the brain is not going to even try to make those new links. It’s running a reduced service as it is, the only way its going to remember that arm and hand are even there, is if you don’t treat as a useless piece of flesh stuck on the side of your body. Hence the phrase use or lose it.

I know it’s easy for me to say, mine was a minor stroke and I eventually got back the use of my arm, leg and speech with only minor issues now in comparison to you. Your stroke was clearly more severe so there is no way anyone can tell you whether you’ll get back more mobility or how long that would take. But in the mean time you also have to learn to accept and adapt. Concentrate on what you can do, not you can’t.

This forum has provided helped a lot of people, over the years I’ve been on it, in coming to terms with their new self. Encouraging and inspiring them, there is whole new way of life out there. Have you tried any local stroke groups or any other social groups that would get you out of the house for a few hours. I go to an Aphasia group once a month and also a strength & balance class once a week, where I’ve made so many new and understanding friends, who accept me as I am and not all afraid to ask for my help, even despite my disabilities :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

Lorraine

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Looking at everything differently now and to keep being hopeful I know I will get there soon

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Thanks Lorraine

I have tried many exercise but sometimes I loose interest and I am always dealing with fatigue, I needed someone to motivate me when I feel tired now I depend on myself to carry out the exercises, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by my present situation, but I have resumed doing exercises every day even though I feel tired most of the time.

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Being young is what bothers me the most, but let me use it to my advantage, thanks once again

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Go to your gp, tell them, don’t ask, tell them that you want a blood test to check your nutrient levels. Then tell them why. Because your are so fatigued. With me they found I was dangerously low in folic acid so put me on a high dose for 2 weeks. And told me to take a daily over the counter strength from then on It was like breath of fresh air, the fatigue was greatly reduced and I felt so light and free within a couple of days. I’d had really heavy legs at the time too, I just thought it was all part of the stroke effect. That heaviness disappeared in days which also helped improved my walking ability.

And there are several vitamin deficiencies which produce such symptoms, that is why you need the blood test, to define which one it may be. Get that checked first before you decide this fatigue and lack of stamina are a stroke effect.

Lorraine

P.S. I love @Chlodog ‘s response, he talks a lot of sense, I love his approach to life after stroke. We’ve all had challenges and bad luck thrown at us throughout our lives and clearly we survived or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Stroke is just another challenge and you are strong enough to not let it beat you, or you wouldn’t be here today :wink:

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Thank you Lorraine, I will do that right away

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Don’t forget, you tell your gp what you need to get to the bottom of this fatigue issue. I’m not saying I don’t still suffer from fatigue, but it’s far more manageable now. I can drive, shop, housework, spend a couple of hours at the gym, etc etc etc, and I’m pooped by the end of the day. But at least it gets me to sleep now (which was another issue). But I can plan my days of activity and include time off for the fatigue, so I can take a day off to recover. But then my children are grown and I’m retired.

Lorraine

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@Esther2 Ignore them all, they are uneducated. I am stroke survivor. I feel sometimes people stare that I work with as they are looking for signs and it pisses me off. You were so young when it happened. Did you work at the time? IF YOU DID YOUR EMPLOYER HAS AN OBLIGATION TO LOOK AFTER YOU. Good luck for the future :revolving_hearts:

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Ah but you have to keep responding, because between us all, we hope to bring peace and understanding to anxious and sometimes distraught newbies. Providing from our unique experiences of stroke from the various individual perspectives. I’m sure you have your down days as we all do, but I love your positive posts.

Lorraine

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I was actually at work when I had the stroke, but no single support from my employer, in fact I’m currently unemployed because I couldn’t return to work immediately, my job is so demanding and not something I can carry out with one hand, now I’m at home feeling miserable every day.

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It’s 15:35 now, have you phoned the doctor yet? You’ve still got time :wink:

Lorraine

I can nag you as much as you want :laughing:

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Yes, I have booked an appointment with my Dr. Thank you so much.

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Hi @Esther2 and welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your stroke & subsequent issues.

Everything I would have said has been said by others so I won’t repeat it. Recivery has to start and end with ourselves & if takes a lot of hardwork, patience & determination. You need to keep going with the exercise. As Lorraine says if you don’t try & use your hand your brain will forget it exists. Even if you have to lift it with your good hand to hold things it is still helping your brain recognise that it is there & helps it rebuild its connections.

A blood test will help determine if your fatigue is caused by something other than your stroke. If it is stroke fatigue then it is about managing it. Pacing yourself & resting often.

You are still very young & have a lot of life to live. Make the most of each day in the best way you can.

Keeping talking to us on here. We are full of useless :grin:…sorry useful knowledge as we have lived experience.

Best wishes

Ann

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Good! It’s always important to rule these things out with your gp before you settle on anything being the side effect of the stroke :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: The last thing you need is another medical issue because you assumed incorrectly.

Lorraine

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Thank you, I feels so good to hear from you all of you​:heart:

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I’m really greatful for all the support.

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@Esther2 - welcome to the community.

I am pleased to see you have been offered some excellent advice already and there is little more I can add.

The little I would like to add relates to your employment status. On this I agree with with what @IreneFC has said. As you were working when you had the stroke, you will have employment rights and if you have been dismissed it may be unlawful. I am not an expert but you would do well to seek professional/legal advice e.g. from a union if you are a member or citizens advice etc.

This forum is here to help you as you have already seen from the responses.

Wishing you all the best .

Namaste|
:pray:

Jonathan - you do it because you care and you do it because your experiences help to enrich the information and advice shared by others and also you do it because you can :slight_smile:

Your response to Esther adds your own unique and personal perspective - I mean how many people can use swimming with a one legged gentleman to illustrate a point :slight_smile:

Please don’t ever stop.

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Hello,

I’m a fellow stroke survivor..mine was also when I was 30! I don’t have a child, but we do have other similarities.

After my stroke I went back to work (post 6-months in hospital and 2/3 months in rehab). I thought I was ok, thought things just went back to normal.

Took 3 years until I had to leave that job, and decided to take a year out and rest a little, recover…and THAT’S when I realised I had issues with memory, sight, slight issue with speech etc. Now I’ve been off work for 13 years, and only started applying for Universal Credit when COVID hit, and everything for so expensive. Since then I’ve repeatedly applied for PIP, but rejected multiple times (in process of latest application now). It’s hard, you feel so isolated, but genuinely I don’t think I could do “simple” jobs. I couldn’t trust myself to work (free) in a charity shop even, sight isnt great, partial blindness but I don’t see anything wrong, just my brain fills in the blank areas in my vision. Can’t use cash, I get confused with value…. I can’t even boil veg in a pan, I forget I’m doing it and the pan dries out and veg burn… but it’s apparently not enough for me to get anything. Yet. We’ll see.

The world is so expensive, even before doing anything. I can’t take the tube/bus anywhere as I forget where I’m going, or how to get back. I forget I’m meant to meet a friend at the other end, so have given up trying. Costs too much for public transport, so try walking everywhere, which means I’m basically in ab of it 1-2km from my house. And still forget when going within that distance (but not always, luckily). Or maybe that’s not so lucky, as maybe I’m too “ok” to get PIP :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

But it’s nice to have this place. To post on occasionally. See if you have an issue, others may know how to help, even if the help is just someone listening.

I think my dad (I live with him, I’m now 46…but no job, no life .. this is it lol) but I think he gets bored of it. I sometimes remind him of my memory issues, like if he moves some books on a shelf, I just freak out, to me there in position X, and if they’re now 30cm to the left on X, I just don’t see them, the partial vision, the focus is on position X, doesn’t matter if it’s only cm away… but it sounds SO stupid, I get he doesn’t remember that I have the memory/vision problems. Which makes the world quite dark. There’s noone that can help. I’m not sick anymore, how I am is just how I am. I have to live with it.

Sigh. Well that was more depressing than intended.

Basically you’re surviving, you’re carrying on, it’s difficult, you struggle, but you CAN do it. It may not be the right way, but it’s the right way for you, so woohoo to you! You’ll get stronger even if nothing changes in how you walk/talk/etc. You’re learning the new you, and that’s tough, but you’re totally surviving it, and you’re brilliant for doing so. X

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@Toonah Glad to hear about your experience and how you have managed it, Thanks :heart:.

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