My husband had a stroke in the right front lobe, I know that this can affect social inhibitions and am struggling with this right now. He basically has no filter when talking to people and he basically talks to everyone he meets on hospital appointments, in the taxi, with the stroke support team etc and neighbours etc. He can be quite blunt/rude and have mentioned this to him but he denied it, however, we reached an understanding that I will squeeze his hand is he says something inappropriate.
Am wondering how others have dealt with this.
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Well done for getting hubby to accept the " signal " mine wonât accept that he is saying anything inappropriate and even when I have had to jump in and apologise explaining that his filters are clogged he will still carry on regardless 
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Oh I do it all the time.
Happy to be not a miserable curmudgeon.
I havenât learned how to blush yet, so I suppose it wonât change.
it gives new meaning to my motto
keep on keepin on
Bet your guy is a lovely fella really.
(he might be blunt or rude because he feels that is how he is being treated)
having a stroke is a nasty shock and it can take some time to settle down,
if ever.
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Well he has accepted it for now but am sure he will forget by tomoro because his short term memory isnât great. I know he is not in control of this but am not sure how I can warn others without broadcasting it loudly which of course he would absolutely hate.
Today he was talking about people eating cake when we went for a cuppa after his blood test making insulting comments about their weight. They were literally at the next table, then he mentioned it to a member of staff.
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I get what you are saying Bobbi and can cope with grumpy comments, I can be a grumpy old trout.
But I think this is beyond his control.
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And he is adorable. A really nice guy. But sadly not himself.
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Iâm sure you and he will come to terms with the predicament that stroke has thrust upon you. You both need to blow off steam and not expect too much too soon. We are all here for the long haul. Visiting this forum can be useful in many ways.
My mrs has cleared off to her computer and Iâm sat at a laptop chatting here on the forum. We are both getting a bit of very necessary me time.
Soon weâll sit for a meal together and then watch some television for a while.
Tomorrow Iâll be going on a guided walk down a canal tow path, sheâll be staying home putting the flags out and relieved to have the house to herself with no calls from me, for a few hours.
Use this place to meet others, get advice, swap points of view, it is a useful free resource with good people who will chat and listen to you both.
keep on keepinâ on
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Thanks.
After 44 years we may need to find our dance again.
At least that is how I see it. All couples have their dance. Youâve described yours. We just need to find ours. Same tune different steps.
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Could you carry cards to give to people explaining he has no filter and does not mean to give offence.
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Funnily enough I thought about this but if my hubby saw me doing this he would feel upset.
I just hope that they see this little old guy hobbling along with a stick and think it is probs his age.
I really donât want to keep defining him with a stroke, I suppose we can get used to that.
But thanks all for replies 
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You can get a disabilityâs badge that says not all disabilityâs are seenâŚ..Iâm thinking there are other disabled people who have no filters because of theyâre disability he needs to be him though or he may get frustrated
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That sounds more doable, and he might not get as upset about wearing a badge, in any case will take a look at google.
Thanx
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I think âfinding or re-discovering your danceâ is a great way to look at things. It could work for you both.
(When I mentioned to my wife what I had said here she told me there were times she would have cheerfully throttled me. Somehow I have survived and that is what is important. I do try but sometimes I am trying. 
)
So you are in this dance but a different tune has struck up. You will have to deal with the change no good trying to make things fit into yesterdayâs tempo. You can do it, both of you. I already said I bet your partner is a great guy.
Never mind that,
I should have said I bet you make a great couple.
You have new challenges to meet, new stuff to learn. You have one another so thatâs one step in the right direction.
There are changes ahead but you will find your way. Remember this forum is always here. Well it has been since I first arrived three years ago. Share your story, it helps.
keep on keepin on
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Your post is inspiring, it not only gives me hope but my husband too. He faces the physio today and has terrible lower back pain, the OT is coming later with painting by numbers which he has gone along with but I know feels patronised at times. He was an art and design teacher and can draw and paint extremely well, he even had an exhibition.
Is obviously a very frustrating and painful time for him.
And an equally frustrating time for me.
Hearing that your wife and yourself have now found your dance and are keeping on is something for us to hold onto right now.
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Actually, now that Iâve thought about it, there are 2 people in my aphasia group with no filters, maybe not as severe or we are just so used to them, and Iâm not so easily offened. One incessantly talks a load of ballony and he knows it so always finishes of with âdonât mind meâ, so every other sentence can be that. The other person can be âinnocentlyâ offensive, as I put it, much more like your husband. But, because of their Aphasia, we are naturally more tollerant, accepting of their remarks. To me itâs just another form of Tourette syndrome, which is also a neurological disoder. Their partners never really discuss it, just roll their eyes, shake their heads and give them a nudge 
If you havenât already, see if you can get him to a local stroke group. It would certainly be a another good place for getting advice on how to cope, from fellow stroke survivors and their partners/carers.
Lorraine
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Following on slightly from suggestions made by others, how about a Sunflower lanyard? It covers all persons who have a hidden disability. Theyâre available free from lots of places, including supermarkets. It very much depends on whether you can get him to wear it though.
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Have sent off for one, thanks, I think he will wear it if I say it means he can feel more comfortable when out and about. Is all about couching it in terms he will find reassuring.
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Let us know how you get on
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