Help Please!

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Hello to all. Firstly I apologise for putting this out there, but I’m hoping you will be able to give me a boost.

I am 19 months post stroke, and have gained most of my mobility back except for my right hand which annoyingly opens on its own accord which is not good when I have something in my hand, and I am also unable to walk very far as it feels like I’m walking through treacle. I find that I am suddenly struggling to cope with life and having now lost the limited mobility I already had through other illnesses it has all robbed me of my usual care free ways and positive outlook. I try and join in with the quiz and chats, but I’m finding that increasingly difficult to motivate myself and feel lost and the usual burden.

So with all that said, I’m hoping that by writing it out and hopefully sharing some of myself with you I can gee myself to get A into G again and start seeing the positives in life once again. One of which is having a close and loving family, but I still can’t do what I want to do and when!! :face_with_steam_from_nose:. I’m finding it all so annoying and frustrating as I’m sure others have experienced.

I am really sorry to whinge, I try very hard to cope, but at the present time, I’m struggling. Help!

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any help anyone can give me. I wish everyone well both in recovery and for those who care for us.

Sue :woozy_face:

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@Sue22 , it sounds like your recovery is going well. Even though I’ve never had a stoke, until recently I cared for my mum who had a stroke. The one thing you need to remember that recovery is a marathon not a sprint. Try contacting stroke.org.uk as they have people on here who can point you in the right direction. Also, there people on here who are probably going through similar experiences to you. Chat to them when you get chance.

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Thank you…..I appreciate your reply and time

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@Sue22 I am full of positivity. I am stroke survivor. Of course there are days where I feel low, but I lift myself out of it or I will become a stroke victim and that is not an option. I can still do most things I did before but slower which frustrate the f**k out of me, but hey ho. I don’t class myself as lucky, cause it turned my life upside down, but I was determined that it was not taking all of me. and fought to be where I am. Its not been easy, but I am girl with a glass half full :revolving_hearts: I wish you well for the future and what I do with my life may not work for you, you will have your own way and you will find it. Stroke is the worst ever to happen to anyone :+1: :smiling_face_with_tear: :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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Hi, Sue

Well done with your fighting spirit. My advice would to take ownership of your predicament, and try and identify what is wrong here (there are several good reasons) “it feels like I’m walking through treacle”… what’s your nervous system like ? MIA? What’s your fascia doing? Tight? High muscle tonus? Fatigue? Make notes ; pull yourself out of the victim’s chair and become an observer. When you’ve collected more observations, maybe somebody will come along and help… but you’ve got to make the first move!

Good luck, God bless, R

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@Sue22

A few people from this forum are part of a friendly informal chat group on Whatsapp.
There are already two Susans there. Plus few few others too.
There’s someone around most of the time each day.

I can message you a link to join the group if you are interested.

I too have a hand and a foot that don’t behave but I try not to let that spoil my fun.
I’ve been getting used to this for four years,
There have been some improvements but it’s probably best to just come to terms with things and simply try your best.

keep on keepin’ on
:writing_hand: :smiley: :+1:

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Sue - no need to apologise.

What you are experiencing is not unusual. In life there are always ups and downs and that is all this is. 19 months post stroke, you are experiencing a down but that you will be on the up again.
Right now as I look out, I see the sun is shining and for me this always cheers me up. Maybe you have things that cheer you up that you can turn to.

Sometimes you need to have break from things, get away and do something different. When you focus too much on something, especially if you are looking for positive outcomes it can be difficult if these things take longer than you would like.

I feel we have been spoilt in the modern world when, it seems to me many of us seek instant gratification but alas, life is not like that :frowning: Sometimes you have to put in more effort or give things more times to develop or mature.

If you have lost motivation, look for something new to do.

How about seeing if you can help me.

I read your note and I wonder now having put pen to paper if you have indeed achieved the desired outcome - seeing the positives. Here are a few positives + + + + + :slight_smile:

Seriously though,

This (putting pen to paper) does work, at least for me. Btw, do you have a diary or journal you can write in? Or even just a notebook? Actually writing things down with a pen and paper is even more therapeutic than writing on forums like this - try it.

Also do tap into the love and support from your family - there is nothing better in life than this and if we are lucky enough (and sadly not all of us are) to have this then it is truly a blessing.

Finally, if I may, I have never heard this phrase and I wonder if you can enlighten me.

Have a lovely day. Put your feet up and make yourself a nice cup of tea :teapot:

A nice cup of tea helps me relax and think things through.

:pray:

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Firstly a big thank you to everyone who wrote back. I very much appreciate the advice and support :hugs:

I must admit manjiB that like you the sunshine :sun_with_face: has indeed lifted my spirits and on reflection I’m willing my old self to come back out and shine once again. Life does go on! As for the phrase putting A into G, putting it politely A**e is another word for bottom and the G is for gear, so it just means getting my “bottom” into gear and start moving, in my case forwards!

Funnily enough, I do keep a diary and have done for the past 46 years! Yes it definitely does help to write things down!! :grin::open_book:

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When on a struggle bus …

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Sometimes the effort of struggling brings on fatigue and fatigue makes the struggle more exasperating and the exasperation exacerbates the fatigue and our condition worsens for a time. I think sometimes if we reprimand our brains, our brains hiss and snarl. If we reward our brains, they purr. It’s not beneficial to ignore emotions, as they have their place but sometimes they can drain us of our wellbeing as emotions use up a lot of cognitive energy. It would be daft of me to say, always look on the bright side of life, as I’m aware that life’s challenges can’t be faced with bumper sticker logic alone, but I think it is worthwhile seeking out those small mercies, the little victories, the tiny pleasures, the funny little moments that bring a smile to your inner self and help lick the wounds of vexation and pain. I don’t know enough about your life to point these out, but I am sure you do.

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Hi Bobbi, I’m sorry im not sure if I sent you my reply :thinking:. Thank you for your reply to my post and if possible I would love to join your group chat on WhatsApp. I think it will do me good. Please send me the link, I would be very grateful. Best wishes Sue

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Hi Sue - I really do “get” where you’re coming from. The thing that works for me is to try to find something I can do to help somebody else. It gets my mind off myself. When I look around I see so many more people in worse shape than I am. I like to crochet, so I have started crocheting hats for the homeless. Each hat is different with different colors and design. At the end of the year I will donate them. I usually make about one hat every week or so. First, it’s gratifying to create something new and different, and more importantly, as I make it I think about the love and care being crocheted in for someone I’ll never see and wondering if this hat will put a smile on his/her face. It’s good to feel a little bit useful. I bet there’s something you can do–maybe just befriending a lonely someone – that will help someone else. Pondering that may put your mind in a happier place. And remember, most folks who have had a stroke have setbacks. You’ll bounce back. Healing from stroke takes time and is not a fast, straight line. :beating_heart:Jeanne

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Such a lovely post Jeanne - I take my hat off to you :slight_smile:

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Thanks Jeanne @axnr911

Yes, that is so true – well said !! :check_mark:

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Hats off to you, both for doing it for the homeless but also for crocheting. I have tried several times and failed at this art, I can’t get my head around it.

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Thank you to everyone. I really appreciate your replies, suggestions and support! Today is another day, I intend to make it a brighter day :star_struck::sun_with_face:

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@Sue22 , no problem. If you need extra advice from an ex-long time carer, I’ll try to help.

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Thank you. That’s nice to know :blush:

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@axnr911 , who needs the Mission: Impossible films.

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@Rups , I’d bet that train is more reliable than the modern rail network.

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That’s an amazing thing to do Jeanne. I bet there are lots of smiles when they receive their hats.

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