Hello, I have just joined up for some support and infomation. I have found reading through lots of your posts and comments so helpful. Thank you all for sharing so much.
My husband had a stroke on the 18th Dec 2024, he was thrombolised and after a 2 night stay in hospital he was able to come home. He was very unsteady walking and couldn’t use his left arm at all at first, this has all improved a lot since.
The last few weeks he has suffered with dizzy spells and left sided weakness, 2 trips back to the hospital found no new stroke/TIA, he was told to drink more water and that it’s stroke decompensation that’s causing the issues.
I’ve read up lots on this and it all makes sense once it’s explained to you.
My husband gets frustrated at the relapses and finds the strange feelings in his head and body hard to deal with, he worries that he’s having another stroke hence the rush to A&E as previously mentioned.
My question I suppose is will this anxiety go away for him in time?
He’s been pretty tearful, he was prescribed sertraline but it gave him such a bad stomach he stopped taking it after a few days.
He says he’s not depressed and I don’t feel that he is generally but he certainly is anxious but that’s to be expected?
It’s also affected his confidence, he’s not overly keen on socialising or going to busy places, I’m letting him take it slow and go at a pace that suits him so that he doesn’t get overly stressed. I guess the road to recovery is long. Will he always feel like this? He’s 51.
Thank you
Hi, I had a stroke last September in my sleep with
I no previous symptoms, I can understand what your husband is feeling, I had anxiety feelings afterwards for a few months, but I tried not to think about negative things, things I couldn’t do and concentrated on what I could do, luckily my stroke wasn’t severe, but I did think that if my brain could do that to me, there’s nothing you can do personally to stop it, it makes you feel vulnerable,
Our local hospital was very slow but efficient and everything was done to prevent another episode, medication etc, so you have to hope that it won’t happen again.
I was the opposite of your husband,
I found that getting out and about helped me recover, our friends were very sympathetic and did help with encouraging words and deeds, we are all different , we are individuals and don’t all react the same way to given situations, whatever your husband is feeling, be sympathetic, follow any medical advice and try to be positive, but don’t try to influence his decisions too much, but as I said we are all different and we react differently, be patient,
Sending you my best wishes.
Hi @Rachb
Welcome to the community, I’m sorry to hear of your husbands stroke and the anxiety this is now causing him.
We have some information on the emotional changes after a stroke on our website which you both may find helpful to read.
You’ve mentioned about your husband not wanting to socialise and his confidence has been knocked, these are normal feelings after having a stroke. We may have a local support group in your area which might be helpful to build confidence and of being out and about again. We also run Online Activities, we offer a wide range of virtual sessions that your husband can choose from. He can learn about the effects of stroke, share experiences, take part in exercise groups and social quizzes. People that come to these sessions tell us how much it helps their confidence.
I hope you’ll continue to find this community helpful. If you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Anna
Hi Sorry to hear of your husband’s stroke and I just wanted to say a big welcome to our community. We are a merry band of stroke survivors and their carers and families and between us we have a wealth of information and experience to share, which we hope you will find useful.
Unfortunately stroke recovery is a long and difficult journey and is a roller-coaster of emotions. All of the things you have described are perfectly normal and are felt by lots of the contributors on here, although everyone’s road to recovery is very different.
It takes a while to regain your confidence following a stroke, so I would say let your husband take things at his own pace and with your help and support, things will slowly begin to improve.
If and when your husband feels ready, I would strongly recommend attending a Stroke Survivors Support Group, we found a group local to us in the early days of my recovery and both my husband and I found it very helpful and informative. It was attended by a wide variety of people, some came with partners or carers and some came alone and they varied in age from 18 - 70. We found our local group meeting through the Different Strokes charity, who offer a unique service to working age stroke survivors differentstrokes.co.uk
You will play an important role in your husband’s recovery, so please remember to take care of yourself too.
I wish you both well and look forward to hearing from you as the road to your husband’s recovery recovery continues.
Regards Sue
Hello @Rachb - Welcome to the community.
Hopefully, you and your husband will get some help and support from members of this community to compliment the help and support you will likely be getting from your stroke support team.
With regards to your husband not being keen on socialising or going to busy places, perhaps he can join this community to get going - there are zoom chat groups etc.
Best wishes to you both.
Namaste|
Hi @Rachb and welcome to the forum. All the above is perfectly normal and common post stroke. The tears and anxiety will calm down over time, this is all a bit of a shock to the system for him, after all, he has just gone through a life threatening experiencing!
Quiet, calm, peace, tranquil, simple, uncluttered, are all words to describe what appeals most to his brain just now. Give him a choice of attending a football match or sitting quietly beside a babbling brook, I know he’ll for the brook…if he had enough energy to get there. So socialising should be kept short and to the minimum until he’s ready for more. He’ll know when he’s ready for more, his brain will make him aware that time when it comes.
The brain will instinctively repels against noise, crowds, busy places and it will be this way for another 6mths or so. The brain is currently healing, doing its mop-up and repairs so it’s currently running a much reduced service 
From the moment you open your eyes in the morning, your brain is taking in information and processing that data. His brain can’t cope with that volume of data just yet, slow and steady wins the race for him just now. He may experience a touch of vertigo in the car, that’s because there is so much information flying in at such a fast rate of speed his brain just doesn’t have processing speed for. I used to just look down at my lap to stop my vision from warping.
He’s only 4mths post stroke, it takes 6mths for the mop-up and repairs, this is the fasted period of recovery. After 6mths recover does slow down but it doesn’t stop. But yes, he will have periods of decompensation, 2 steps forward 1 step back. I always look upon that as the brain’s computer shutting for a reboot after a major update.
A certain amount of his anxiety and tears will also be him mourning the loss of his old self. It takes time to come to terms with and adapt to this new way of life. But hopefully as he recovers more and is confidence rebuilds, and is able to do so much more than he can do right now, that anxiety will shrink back to nothing. Just keep the mood light, keep your outlooks confident and positive.
This can only get better! That’s the way you’ve got to look at it because negativity will only drag the both of down. You don’t need that, he certainly doesn’t need that. Yes, we all had those trips to A&E in the early stages post stroke, thinking we’re having another one. And as we’ve all learnt, they were only the “Braxton Hicks” (false labour pains) of stroke recovery 
Well, anyone who’s had a baby will know them 
The one piece of advice I can give, which should relieve you some, is don’t treat him any differently from the time before his stroke. Let him do everything he possibly can to help himself, that’s the only way to retrain his brain. And give him plenty time before you may need to step in with some help. The more you do for him, the more you slow down the brains re-learning process. If he really needs help with anything, he’ll ask, if he’s mentally fatigued, he’ll defer to you.
And if he manage reading ok then show him these posts, if only to boost his confidence and raise the faith in his future.
I’m 4yrs post stroke, could barely walk, talk, read or write (Aphasia), etc, in the beginning. I do all those now, I can drive, take myself off the gym 5 days a week, shop in busy supermarkets, socialise, have attended parties, barbeques, weddings and funerals etc etc etc. Yes I do still have deficits, such as mild Aphasia, slight weakness down right side, foot drop and fatigue. But none of them things hold me back! It just takes time to settle into new norm, but it will come
In the meantime, just learn to relax and be patient and take some time out for yourself, have a break, have a Kitkat. And remember, inside, he’s still the man you loved enough to marry so take good care of each other 
Lorraine
@Rachb just popping by to say hi and welcome to the community. Sorry to hear of your husbands stroje but pleased to hear his recent spells of dizziness are not another stroke. I too had a couple of A&E trips after my stroke because I felt so dizzy & off balance. They turned out to be decompensation too. If only the drs had said it was possible I probably wouldn’t have gone to A&E.
A lot of what he’s suffering at the moment is quite normal after a stroke & things shoukd start to ease over time. It can take many months though. He’ll need plenty of rest at this stage but in time he’ll be able to do more before he tires.
I still find socialising difficult. It’s like itcsends my head into a spin & then it just switches off. That’s probably a bit of what your husbandcis experiencing. Let him build that up gradually…it will improve.
Make sure you look after yourself too as that’s very important. Try & resist the temptation to do everything for him if he can do it himself. My hubby used tobtake over because I was too slow. It was done with the best of intentions but was frustrating at times…he was & still is mybrock though & I couldn’t manage without him.
Best wishes to you both
Ann
Thank you all so much! That’s so helpful to read.
It’s such a journey isn’t it! Sending you all lots of love and thanks
Rachel
Hi Rachael,
Sorry to hear about your husband’s struggles since his stroke. I had an SAH (subarachnoid brain haemorrhage), it’s left me with issues with my nervous system and some of my connection to emotions are gone. It’s been 5 years so I’m not holding out much hope I’ve tried everything. Acceptance is a massive hurdle to stroke survivors, coming to terms with change and acceptance of the current you and your limitations can be a bitter pill for some. I really struggled and fought against it but it got me no where. In fact it made me worse. Anxiety is horrendous actual anxiety, not feeling nervous or slightly worried (sorry but the word is so overused nowadays) can be crippling. CBT therapy or talking therapy could help your husband but it maybe too early days ATM. I have lots of experience with self development as I’m 20 years sober. If you look at the root cause of the anxiety it may be fear of it happening again or fear of dying. It could be ‘why me’ (why not) or lack of acceptance. This takes time and work to get through. Sounds like he’s lucky to have someone like you to support him. My SAH ended my marriage but on reflection I can now see this was the best thing. Tell him to concentrate on what he still has not what he feels he’s lost. I wish you both all the best. This is just my experience and I’m just being honest. I hope things land sunny side up.
Best wishes,
Dan
Hi and welcome. Im so sorry you and your husband are going through this tough time and in my experience things do get better but it does take time. I had my Stroke in September, had thrombolysis and was in hospital 3 days. Im 54 and on release my mobility was good but speech and cognition was poor. 7 months on my speech and cognition is really good but i still have issues with pain and slowness of thought when tired. My anxiety has reduced massively going from being terrified to be in the car to driving again. I also didnt want to socialise due to my speech etc but i did see people but kept the groups very small so i was not overwhelmed. The Stroke Association also ran a 10 week support group for 10 weeks which was an amazing help. Getting to speak with people who know what you are experiencing really helps. Things will get better but i will never fully recover so i have had to become comfortable with the new me and take time. Dont set time scales as there are no timescales on recovery as everyone is different. Crossed fingers things move forward smothly for you guys.
Hi, I too feel just like that following my cerebellum stroke in Aug 2023, I feel anxious and reticent at going out, driving, and socialising. I try to override this by just doing small outings and praising myself for what I’ve done. This way I hope to become more confident and in time get back to my normal, whatever that might be now!! Good luck for your man Rachel.
@draytonmoore just popping by to say hi & welcome to the community.
Your advice regarding small outings & praising yourself for what you’ve done is great advice.
Hopecyiu are getting on well since your stroke.
Best wishes
Ann
Hello, good evening and welcome to the community @draytonmoore.
Nice to have you with us and for you to share your experiences. Slow and steady does it, as does recognising your own achievements and praising yourself. It feels good to know you achieved something and it encourages you to go for more.
Keep going and who knows what your new normal will be?
Namaste|
