I’m not doing too well today, sorry to moan but it gets me down that nothing seems to improve so do I accept it and wait until something age related finishes me off or do I plough on in the belief that there is a better future which history has taught me is rarely given nor is achieved.
One way or another it has to end.
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@mrfrederickson Onwards and upwards. I had a dreadful week last week and it would have been so easy to give in, but I kept going. No one can fix me and only I can help me. So its up to me to make me feel better. Good luck 
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@mrfrederickson this is a daily struggle for me as well. Why am i even trying? Why do i get up and expend what little energy i have on such pointless activities like therapy, exercise , healthy living in general. Im doing all this stuff to live longer? That makes no sense! Oh the games your mind can play. ULtimately, ive been on this rollercoaster Along enough to know that even the darkest days will pass. Often times, not soon enough. But nevertheless i know that i will eventually right the ship and have at least some up time. It seems to be the only consistent thing in my stroke wotrld. ( inconsistencies) The ups and downs would exhaust anybody, much less those of us with damaged parts. Distraction is key for me. Occupy my mind with thoughts of things beside stroke. Therea the challenge. Finding things to do, basically without being able to do anything. Its cruel and painful. Its unrelenting. I know my thoughts are not breaking news, nor are they unique to me . Im asking you to hang in there man. Yes, this is horrible and unbearable at times. But , everytime i can fight through the dark days and emerge to the other side is a small boost. Its a feeling of achievement. iIts confirmation to myself that im still trying even when some around me hint that somehow my lack of progress is because im not putting in the effort. Blah blah blah more stroke talk. Its so hard to get away from.
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I really think that ploughing on in the belief that there is a better future is the only way. I hope that things improve for you soon, but until then just keep swimming.
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Thanks for replying I’m having a low day mainly the extreme discomfort with my left side of which I could bear more without the discomfort.
Immobility is acceptable and I’m still working on it but made so much more difficult than if I was pain free. I think my expectations of recovery was wrong and even five years has not yielded much of a noticeable difference since lying in a hospital bed, just I’ve got more adapted to the new normal
Perhaps another two years will make the sensory cortex faulty operation come good
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I have no physical pain at all. It would be hard for me to say i understand because i dont. I come to this forum for understanding. When i read someone is trying to go back to work or regain driving privileges i often think " my god, i have a completely different condition. " these people have no idea how bad a stroke can be. Your worried about a driving liscense, and Im worried about making it until lunchtime. This thought in no way diminshes the problems of others. A problem is a problem. Anyway @mrfrederickson i hate that your struggling but your post afforded me an opportunity to vent a litle myself. So it is my humble opinion that in a small way have afforded me some relief. Thank you sir. I hope you find relief as well
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Thanks I’ll rally in a day or so it’s the long game staring me in the face that plays on my mind I suppose
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So sorry to hear that you are having a bad day today. Please don’t apologise, we all have our off days and it’s good to know that we can come on here and have a good moan.
Hope you are feeling better tomorrow.
Regards Sue
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Hang in there, amigo
remember that pain & stress eat through our supplies and minerals like a house on fire. Iodine for your thyroid and magnesium. Your thyroid is the orchestral conductor of all your major bodily functions and magnesium binds to your GABA receptors to calm you down and dull that pain. These are natural remedies. I stuck my foot in a bucket of Epsom salts today… and don’t get me started on what Sulphur can do for you… it’s also off the chart !!
Tomorrow will be a better day !!
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..and when you do, we shall have a drink and celebrate victory !!
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Dark days can be hard to bear especially if you think that is all you have ahead.
I too have struggled with many dark days in my life, but most especially since being diagnosed with blood cancer 6 years ago and more laterly my stroke.
Its hard!!!
For what its worth here are the lessons I have learned which have helped me when it gets hard to cope from day to day.
It’s important to acknowledge and sit with the dark for a while and allow yourself to be sad, as it eventually helps to find and recognise the lighter moments in your day.
Keeping your focus on the now and thinking of coping with the pain only in this moment helps to not let the pain take over. I also keep telling myself over and over ‘it is only pain and I am healing every day, I am safe and doing well’.
The brain listens to the strories you tell yourself about how you feel; it cannot tell the difference between what is reality and what is fiction, so, if you keep telling it you are ok and the pain is bearable it will believe it, your body will respond accordingly by relaxing more and producing less cortisol which helps reduce your pain.
I also found using self hypnosis audios by a chap called Michael Sealey on Youtube helps. He has many different recordings and if nothing else, the relaxation they bring can help you to relax and distract you from the pain and how sad it is making you feel.
I hope brighter moments are not far away for you, each day the sun will rise and who knows what gifts it will bring you, a loved ones smile, a hug, another day with your family.
All the best
Lizx
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Thanks Sue and all who have listened I just need abit ofof light in a very long dark tunnel to sustain me to the finish line
Sound advice and most kind of you to take the time to jolly me along
I would say that you will beat the blood cancer thing , my father fought and beat two instances of bone marrow cancer and lived to a ripe age, will be praying for you.
My left leg is noticeably better today not perfect but still better and for that I am grateful ,
Mark.x
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@mrfrederickson
Hi Mark,
Glad things are a little better today and you have less pain. Have a lovely day, sending cosmic hugs 
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You’ve got to keep going. Stroke recovery is, unfortunately, a slow process. Keep doing the exercises are your brain will learn (eventually) what you expect from it.
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For sure but I’m not expecting to emerge from a severe stroke without any badges of honour especially on my left side leg and arm
Exercises are difficult when you’re arm is limp and the body doesn’t recognise the existence of it!!
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Doing passive exercises (the good hand helping) will help the brain to recognise it.
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Thankyou pamelail, reading your post made a dreary day a little bit brighter! I am 15 months post a “mild” stroke. I have exercises from my physio. Although ,to be truthful I was getting a bit down not seeing a leap forward .I must keep telling myself “that recovery is a marathon not a sprint”!So thankyou again!!
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The bed reset is a deep hours sleep dream filled if lucky, but as I found today I woke up with very little pain only to be back to normal pain levels by mid day worsening towards bedtime. It is all brain centric so has to be ignored as best I can as the fix isn’t going to be wuick
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