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Hi my name is Lisa I had a stroke in January this year so I am new to all this as I am getting used  to it where I used to be independent but now because of my stroke it's really stopped me from doing normal things but sometimes just sit and cry as I really get annoyed with myself I just want to feel normal again that's not to much to ask 

Hi Lisa. Stroke is a traumatic event which affects our emotions as well as our body. My stroke was two and a half years ago and it made me fearful, uncertain of my recovery and a feeling that all was lost. I was being hoisted in and out of bed and my left arm and hand were useless. But I fought back! I did all the exercises asked of me, made myself walk again and got back to cooking, baking, shopping and going on short breaks.

You might not be the person you were, but you are still alive and life is for a purpose. I am not independent, but I have as much right to go out, do things and enjoy myself as anyone else has. I am lucky, however, because I have a partner who helps me and has never let me feel sorry for myself. I have down days,of course, and I miss what I once did, especially long country walks. However, I value the smallest things now that I never did, birdsong, the changing seasons.

My major issue is post stroke fatigue, which demands an hour’s bed rest every day. I have also changed my diet, drink less alcohol and go to three exercise classes a week.

Please take heart. You are not alone and many on this forum will give you good advice. Ask anything you like. Above all, try to be positive and do seek medical help if your depression and anxiety persist. You have survived your stroke, do not let it ruin your life. Good luck on your journey!

Dear Lisa

So sorry to learn of your stroke, but welcome to this forum. Very good words from John, he is such a super contributor.

Lisa my dear, it isnt your stroke please dont say its "my stroke". You didnt choose to have a stroke. You did however get chosen to survive when many do not. So you are a special person.

You are not going to be who you were in 2017 . You will be new Lisa and you will find a new normal. Regret to say it is asking too much to feel (old) normal again. You will achieve your new normal and that isnt all bad. 

The emotional debris from stroke is rotten. Tears at the drop of a hat. But that does improve. As a male I found tears embarassing, but things have steadily eased and now I only cry at funerals and an ocassional TV program. Old me never cried at anything.

I am independent. I can manage quite well when my wife leaves me for a few days. And I can plan and do things at my own pace. I can drive a little bit. I can dig my veg patch. I can use my PC. I can watch TV. Think about all the things you can do and not the things you can not.

One good idea is to smile. Fake, false, forced or real, a smile has an amazing effect.

Be positive.

And you are not alone. Lots of us are out here for you.

Best wishes


Don't spend too much time looking back. Instead, consider your future. You can't change the fact your life has changed, but try to think of tomorrow as a new day for a new you. There are new friends to meet, fresh challenges to tackle, opportunities to discover new hobbies and interests. You can't do this all on your own, though. Please ask for help when you need it, be honest with those close to you, keep telling yourself how well you are doing. Accept that you will have the odd bad day, but you will have some great days to compensate. 


Obviously look after yourself: physically, mentally and emotionally. All three are equally important.