as i said im getting tired of the anger and frustration ,about 8 months in not getting any better not getting any worse , still weak in all the same places ,still frustrated at all the same things . i know the signs ,my beloved knows the signs ,she just avoids me ,which im fine with she knows misery doesn’t need company and when im in a mood i prefer solidarity till i snap out of it ,and she just leaves me to get on with it ,we have been together long enough to know each others moods
i just feel as though i want to go out and roar at the world
yeah this is me haaving a pity party
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I totally feel this. I’m 100% the same way
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Yes, I could have written those word
I have spasms 1.5 years into my stroke
What’s slowing you down?
ciao, Roland
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Nothing wrong with a pity party now & again as long as it doesn’t become the overwhelming emotion the majority of the time. If it is then my advice would be to speak to your GP or Stroke Team to see if they can help you work through the emotions.
Some people use mindfulness to help. You could also try doing a hobby to focus your mind on other things. I took up writing poetry which helped me get my emotions out without taking them out on anyone else.
Acceptance is a big part of moving forward. trying to find that Acceptance is hard but necessary. Try thinking about any positives e.g. I am living a slower life now…not what i would have asked for but actually now it has been forced on me it has helped me work out what’s important.
Feel free to rant here too. Even if we can’t help sometimes just saying it (typing it) can help.
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Letting her have some me time and coming on here to scream into the void is probably one of the best ways of making use of the big scoops of down time we stroke folk are subject to.
Dr Stroke says look for the irony in it all and try creating a horribly weak joke or two to share and commiserate over. It is possible to smile and sob at the same time.
Sharing misery can be a delightful pastime.
As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, check your bed time milky drink, if it tastes metallic there is a chance that cyanide/strychnine has entered the equation.
Was that another scream coming from downstairs, in the cellar? Whatever you do, avoid going down there to take a look! Please!
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You’re having one of those days and we all know them. I remember having thinking just the same about recovery at around 8ths too. It’s mind over matter and tomorrow you’ll pick yourself up and keep on moving forward in your recovery. It will get better!
I too thought this is as good as it’s going to ever get! And I remember my gp surgery looking for permission to share info with the DVLA, and thinking what’s the point, I’m never going to capable of driving again. Good thing my hubby ignored my despondency and filled out the form, because I could barely write like a 3yr old let speak, so he gave the permission for me 
And I was driving again just over a year after my stroke 
Yes I do still have some minor issues but I can drive, trip out with family and friends, attend several fitness classes, cook, clean, garden, join in fully with family sports days, etc, etc, etc. I’m 3yrs post stroke and been all that for the best part of the last two years.
Don’t forget you’ve had both a stroke and then a pacemaker fitted some months later. Not only is it all trauma both mentally and physically and the added trauma of the pacemaker fitted can stall progress too, it takes time to recover and adjust.
Onwards and upwards 
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driving is certainly one of my frustrations , i want my license back ,but as you described you have to play footsie with the DVLA both my Doctors have cleared me ,my GP and my Consultant (cardiology) , i know exactly why im like this i got a new garden shed delivered a week ago and when i eventually felt good enough to tackle it i failed miserably ,and i just realised im now classed as Disabled for a bloody good reason , because i am -its just getting my head to understand it
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Oh @cuddyhung I am so with you there. There’s a saying the old folks used to use.
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. It is right on so many levels, especially after stroke.
. . . and now I’ve become an old folk.
@Mrs5K has posted some very relevant advice at the top of this thread.
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my doctor told me i had to inform the DVLA but said he could do that for me, as he had to legally inform them anyway ,i agreed as i saw no point in us both doing it
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Cuddyhung I can sympathise with you on your shed problem. Gardener for sixty years. Stroke certainly retired me big time. Retirement plan splash the cash on big quality glasshouse. No way I could put it up so employed local builder, he puts up half and disappears 
So frustrating but I’m staying positive. I know it will get completed and I’ll be growing tons of veg at sometime in near future.
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my license still exists on there data base , it just says i have no entitlements ,and from what i heard elsewhere i have lost my grandfather rights for C and C1 entitlements
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