Getting tired of the anger and frustration

as i said im getting tired of the anger and frustration ,about 8 months in not getting any better not getting any worse , still weak in all the same places ,still frustrated at all the same things . i know the signs ,my beloved knows the signs ,she just avoids me ,which im fine with she knows misery doesn’t need company and when im in a mood i prefer solidarity till i snap out of it ,and she just leaves me to get on with it ,we have been together long enough to know each others moods
i just feel as though i want to go out and roar at the world
yeah this is me haaving a pity party


I totally feel this. I’m 100% the same way


Yes, I could have written those word
I have spasms 1.5 years into my stroke
What’s slowing you down?

ciao, Roland


Nothing wrong with a pity party now & again as long as it doesn’t become the overwhelming emotion the majority of the time. If it is then my advice would be to speak to your GP or Stroke Team to see if they can help you work through the emotions.

Some people use mindfulness to help. You could also try doing a hobby to focus your mind on other things. I took up writing poetry which helped me get my emotions out without taking them out on anyone else.

Acceptance is a big part of moving forward. trying to find that Acceptance is hard but necessary. Try thinking about any positives e.g. I am living a slower life now…not what i would have asked for but actually now it has been forced on me it has helped me work out what’s important.

Feel free to rant here too. Even if we can’t help sometimes just saying it (typing it) can help.

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Letting her have some me time and coming on here to scream into the void is probably one of the best ways of making use of the big scoops of down time we stroke folk are subject to.

Dr Stroke says look for the irony in it all and try creating a horribly weak joke or two to share and commiserate over. It is possible to smile and sob at the same time.

Sharing misery can be a delightful pastime.

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, check your bed time milky drink, if it tastes metallic there is a chance that cyanide/strychnine has entered the equation.

Was that another scream coming from downstairs, in the cellar? Whatever you do, avoid going down there to take a look! Please!

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Rail at the world to the extent of your cathartic need. Generally you we are good at absorbing it - and maybe reflecting something useful.

I’d also say if you’re 8 months in and not seeing changes then that could be because you haven’t been pushing your boundaries or that you’re looking at the wrong scale to see what is progressing or that you are going through one of those periods where your consolidating gains and gaining different components of a capability that won’t be visible until the last one comes into effect

For example I notice my progress in my hand dexterity it comes in tiny jumps
when I notice a jump and analyse it it is the coming together of multiple elements such as wrist, elbow, strength, speed, endurance not just fingers…

It’s also great that you have a relationship where you can both rub along allowing for the each for the other :slight_smile: that’s very valuable. When you come out of the funk give her a hug :slight_smile:
All the best


You’re having one of those days and we all know them. I remember having thinking just the same about recovery at around 8ths too. It’s mind over matter and tomorrow you’ll pick yourself up and keep on moving forward in your recovery. It will get better!

I too thought this is as good as it’s going to ever get! And I remember my gp surgery looking for permission to share info with the DVLA, and thinking what’s the point, I’m never going to capable of driving again. Good thing my hubby ignored my despondency and filled out the form, because I could barely write like a 3yr old let speak, so he gave the permission for me :smile: And I was driving again just over a year after my stroke :slightly_smiling_face:

Yes I do still have some minor issues but I can drive, trip out with family and friends, attend several fitness classes, cook, clean, garden, join in fully with family sports days, etc, etc, etc. I’m 3yrs post stroke and been all that for the best part of the last two years.

Don’t forget you’ve had both a stroke and then a pacemaker fitted some months later. Not only is it all trauma both mentally and physically and the added trauma of the pacemaker fitted can stall progress too, it takes time to recover and adjust.

Onwards and upwards :people_hugging:

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driving is certainly one of my frustrations , i want my license back ,but as you described you have to play footsie with the DVLA both my Doctors have cleared me ,my GP and my Consultant (cardiology) , i know exactly why im like this i got a new garden shed delivered a week ago and when i eventually felt good enough to tackle it i failed miserably ,and i just realised im now classed as Disabled for a bloody good reason , because i am -its just getting my head to understand it


Oh @cuddyhung I am so with you there. There’s a saying the old folks used to use.
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. It is right on so many levels, especially after stroke.
. . . and now I’ve become an old folk.

@Mrs5K has posted some very relevant advice at the top of this thread.

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Did you surrender you are licence or was it revoked?
Difference is material to the return process as set out in the RTA 1988 - I’d have to look up the specific paragraph but on their website there is sufficient detail

If you surrendered it then you can submit an application for its return and when they have received that you would be able to confirm by recording delivery then you are able to drive for up to a year provided there are no medical objections ready to send in your post there aren’t


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my doctor told me i had to inform the DVLA but said he could do that for me, as he had to legally inform them anyway ,i agreed as i saw no point in us both doing it

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If you look on the DVLA website for your licence to your driver ID it will show you whether it’s status is revoked or surrendered

That status as a very significant difference in the degree of difficulty with getting it reinstated…

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Cuddyhung I can sympathise with you on your shed problem. Gardener for sixty years. Stroke certainly retired me big time. Retirement plan splash the cash on big quality glasshouse. No way I could put it up so employed local builder, he puts up half and disappears :face_with_symbols_over_mouth: So frustrating but I’m staying positive. I know it will get completed and I’ll be growing tons of veg at sometime in near future.


my license still exists on there data base , it just says i have no entitlements ,and from what i heard elsewhere i have lost my grandfather rights for C and C1 entitlements


Paul @Pds
Hope you hadn’t paid him

Gonna build a potting shed / sun room in next 2 weeks :slight_smile:

And maybe erect the poly tunnel I bought in 1998!
Lost the instructions. I do recall they said “1. Make a cup of tea and read through this manual before doing anything else” but how hard can it be?

Doing it with an odd job bod I employed before - he has ADHD so it’s gonna be a whirl wind !