Getting our life back

sorry if this sounds negative but is this a stupid question to ask...will we ever get our lives back after a stroke. Everyone I know seems to be enjoying their lives to the full and friends keep saying you’ll get there, but I can’t see it..

is it just me feeling down 

will it get better ?

Dear June, 

It does get better.  I'm about 24 weeks post my stroke.  Up to week 6, I couldn't move my right hand side.  Now I can walk with a frame and prepare meals etc.etc.  I've learnt from fellow S.S's you don't get your old life back you get a fresh start.  Not always how we would have chosen it. But I have lost 4 stone in weight and in some ways fitter than I  was pre -stroke.

I know what you're saying and feeling I have the same feelings and thoughts but that's what this site is about getting support from your fellow S.S's and Co when you need a bit of a boost.  Hang in there.  Kay x



June. Yes you will, but it might be a different life than the one you expected. It also doesn’t all cone back at once. After a few months of being home, I decided to write a poem a day about the new and smaller world I found myself in. I learnt to see what I could see and be grateful for it: Garden flowers and birds, sunsets, rain....even the weekly sound of the dustbin men. Then my partner and I were able to have short breaks. No more cliff top walks alas, but at least the harbour and seeing dolphins from a distance, sailing boats and children playing. Yesterday, we went for tea with old friends. ‘No one would know you’ve had a stroke,’ one said. Well, you would if you saw me but I am still here and life isn’t too bad. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

June, I write this poem on December 31st 2016. My Stroke was in     March 2016.

This morning: damp fog,
Trees lose their shapes,blackbirds are
Sounding their loud alarm calls

High on chimney tops
And across allotments.
Everything is still.

The Year will soon turn,
Leaving the old one behind,
And all we did there.

Yet we look ahead,
Hoping the new year brings us,
Health and happiness.

Fare forward my friends,
We are hopeful travellers
Despite our baggage,

And our old suitcase
Of lost hopes and broken dreams
We carry onwards.

Look forward to Spring
When damp and fog disappear
And hope is renewed.


thank you so much Kay for your reply, I know what you say is right and we’re trying hard to adapt to what’s happened to us    

gary is having physio now and he’s enjoying it but it just hurt so much watching him relearn everything he took for granted before...I suppose I just had a wobble there xx

Hi John Jeff,

Your reply came to me Kay not June. Hopefully she'll see your inspiring 


Kind Regards


wow....thank you for that it was so touching and hit home straight away I think I’m going to be reading it a few more time... so poignant 

thank-you john x

yep, but probably this is the hardest thing you've ever had to do. certainly has been for me. I put up a reflection recently where I was exploring the life after stroke as discovery rather than recover. it is both of course.. I am 28 months post stroke, I was ten weeks in hospital. I am back at work, I just got a positive driving assessment, so looking forward to getting back to that, I have to get my car adapted yet. I couldn't walk when I first had the stroke. I can walk but not how I could. it was a big thing for me I loved walking. I lost it. I am learning to live with my wonky body and discovering what it can do. fatigue is a persistent issue though I get times when the fog clears. I discovered an appetite for reading. which has been a gift. in the early days I did not have the stamina for it and had some perceptual impairment so I would easily lose my place on the page. it has changed. I read more now than I did before the stroke. I am coming to a difficult acceptance that I am disabled. I fought it for a while and was confused about how much emphasis I could give to recovery. but the acceptance that this is a new me, albeit a bit wonky has helped. and where I achieve something new I can only be grateful. remember that we survived. I still find it wierd to write the word stroke applied to me but it is now part of my history I might not be how I was, I am not, but I am exploring the life I have been given. I dunno what it will be like for me to live it to the full, but thats the invitation for all of us, disabled or not.

here's to your wonderful life!! 



I just want to say a big thank you for all the replies iv received from you all

I haven’t had a dark moment for a while now but it came today like a black cloud and was really upsetting so after I’d put my message out you all responded..

iv shown gary and we both had a cuddle and a cry but we feel a lot better for it.. thank you x



Wobbles are allowed! Hope tomorrow is a better less wobbly day. xx

Very eloquently put, very moving and inspirational.  Thanks Tony I will return to this post when I need a boost.  So pleased you will be able to drive again, and hope you can get your car adapted asap.  

Best wishes xx

Lovely imagery, will read this again when I need a motivational boost.

Hope it was a good wobble!  Sometimes I get wobbly with the good things, I sometimes phone our answer machine to listen to my husband's pre-stroke voice - not easy to own up to that!  I think we feel proud of our SS because we know how much it has taken to achieve those seemingly simple milestones.  

Keep up the good work xx

Thinking of you and knowing that things will get better - stay strong x

Dear June

If you are looking to get back to your pre stroke life then I regret to say its highly unlikely. Other people are movong on in the same direction but we have hit a wall and need to go in a different direction. Its a new life as new June. Better than being dead. A new chance to have a new life. That has to be a plus doesnt it. Many die from stroke and we have been chosen to live. So we ought to do whatever we can.

I have found that friends and family generally run for the hills and if they come back to us then they want to insist that you can do this and that. You probably look well. I think its impossible for another human to see us look so well and to believe we are not. I am now trying to make new friends. People I meet for the first time are much easier to deal with. And especially my dear cat, who adopted me a year ago. He accepts me exactly as I am. I adore him. Never had a pet before.

Stroke does give waves of depression and we dont want to go there. We must be positive. Smiling a lot helps a lot. You arent alone out there, thousands of us have had strokes and few dozen are on this site willing you on.


thanks nic

its funny but I know exactly what you mean about listening to your husbands pre stroke voice...I keep looking at old photos of us together and can’t help wishing we were right back there

but that’s impossible we can’t but can’t help wishing we could x

Thanks to the camera function on phones these days, I have quite a few photos and short videos of pre-stroke husband, as time passes I still love browsing these memories, but not so distressed by them.  I know my husband is still suffering, as all SS folks do, but I can often see the old twinkle in his eyes, so I never give up hope.  You are bound to feel fragile, that is completely normal as we are all experiencing a level of grief.  Fortunately we have been able to gradually build a new life, and it's starting to feel more 'normal', but it's taken a year and we've still got a way to go!!  We are a combination of our pasts, presents and futures, and can only keep going forward.  

Keep up the physio and the rest management  routine, things will improve - most importantly he's there with you and it will be important for him to know that.  You will come through - I managed and I'm a proper wuss!!  

Night, night

June, I am so pleased members of this site have helped you both - this is what My Stroke Guide is all about! smiley