I had a mini stroke in 0ctober 23. I was lucky in a way, as it only really affected my eyesight for a while (double vision) which now seems to have corrected itself. My problem is that I’m a full time carer for my partner who is bed bound with Parkinson’s and since the stroke my patience with her seems to be getting shorter and shorter. I’ve always been a understanding, compassionate guy but I don’t like the person I’m becoming. I’m not sure if it’s a result of the stroke or just the situation I’m in that’s making me feel the way I do. She is the love of my life (26 yrs) and I know I’m hurting her but I’ve always been able to manage our situation. I don’t expect anyone to have the answer but I guess sometimes it’s just good to put your thoughts out there.
Welcome, but sorry you had to join us. No stroke is minor, You need time to recover. Do you have family or friends you could ask for help (even if its just an hour to get a coffee 'or go for a walk)?Alternatively contact your local council who should do a carer’s assessment. Or possibly ask Age UK for advice.
Best wishes
Janet
@Bluzman sorry to hear of your stroke and your ongoing struggles. The patience issues you describe could well be as a result of your stroke. Often people get emotional changes - look up emotional lability. Some people find they cry more, others get angry and some have no emotions at all. Emotional lability usually improves over time. A mini stroke is still a major event and you need time to recover. Your brain is probably getting tired and that can feed into your emotions too.
Speak to your gp and see if they can help or at least reassure you that there’s nothing you need to be concerned about. Maybe talk to your GP about carer support too.
You’ve been through a major event and your partner is also going through a major health event. Both of which are very stressful. I find I can’t cope the same since my stroke and things I used to do without batting an eyelid are now major things. I’m not as tolerant either.
Sending you my very best wishes.
Ann
Thank you for your kind words Ann. I’ve never been one to rush to the doctor but maybe now is the time to go. I appreciate your time in replying to me. Take care, Eric
Hi Eric, I was never one for drs either but post stroke I have been more. There’s a lot they can help with that we don’t think about. My dr is great just for listening to me & i often feel better just for offloading even if I know they can’t help.
Best wishes
Ann
Thanks Janet, I do have friends I can go and have a coffee with but I’ve always been good at listening, not so good at offloading. Maybe it’s time to change that. I appreciate your advice. Take care, Eric
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I understand what you mean about talking to others. Today, for the first time, I joined a Zoom meeting organised by a local carers group. After the hour meeting, I can say I found it good to be in the company people who really understand the situation. For a while afterwards I felt more positive about things, but then after a difficult time this evening with my partner, I’m back to square one again. It’s like a game of snakes and ladders, and I’ve just landed on the snake! It is an exhausting journey, but seeing the support offered on this site is really encouraging for me. I’m starting to realise that I’m not alone and that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. There’s always a new day coming… hopefully with no snakes in it!
Take care of yourself too and thanks again, Eric
I can see by scrolling back that I hadn’t posted on this thread. I thought I had 
Just to say that there is a carer’s cafe every other Friday by zoom organised here by @BakersBunny details Online Carers Cafe
Some truths are the carers are the overlooked and weakly supported if at all, should grasp every opportunity for help from elsewhere and are the fulcrum around which everything else pivots so have to protect and maintain their capacity
I’m glad meeting you attended you for a while Perhaps with more of the same the lift will have more enduring effect Well done on what you are doing
Ciao
Simon
Thanks for your comments Simon, it Is appreciated. I will certainly try and pop in for a digital coffee 
at the Carers Cafe on the 26th
Hi Eric
The cafe is this Friday 23rd at 3pm not 26th 
Lea
Sorry to hear this. I too, am a full-time carer (for severely disabled 33yr old daughter). I had stroke 5 years ago and together with my wife, we started reaching out for assistance.
We now have a carer come in Mon-Fri, for two hours and they deal with the bath/hair washing for me (that, kills me still). Through the day (weekdays) she goes to Day-Service.
So at least I can go for a walk, do housework and catch up on sleep. It really is a stressful job when you have no energy yourself, that can lead to resentment.
Have you spoke with social services to see if you can get help?
Got it 
Thanks Lea
Thanks for your post Ian. After the Zoom meeting earlier this week I was contacted by a guy from our Gloucestershire carers hub. The lady who ran the Zoom meeting had asked him to contact me because she felt that I could do with some help and support. After an hour chat with him (lovely fella) he is going to arrange a carer assessment (for me) to see what extra help our local council can offer, a carer discount card, and also enrolled me in a emergency scheme to arrange temporary care for my partner should I become ill or hospitalised again. We already get 3 carer visits per day (through the local council) and I thought that was the end of it, how wrong was I? How things can change in a week. There are so many good people out there, working silently to support people like me. It is quite humbling 
I’m really pleased for you. Our experience suggests you have to be quite forceful and persistent, especially as a lot of councils are cutting back. We also have 50 nights respite care per year. We take most of these as a Fri-Mon (3 nights) so we can leave the home together and do grandkid things etc. without worry. Good luck 