@Mrs5K thank you for your reply Ann, everything you say makes sense and hopefully all will be well.
We are currently only going to hospital appointments and even more locally to GP so if he gets the go ahead I will initially attempt to persuade him to start with the very local run to gp surgery and pharmacy next door.
There’s a dreadful roundabout on route to the hospital which even locals get muddled with and you find yourself being bombarded from all sides by people trying to squeeze back into the correct lane. I myself hate that roundabout these days but never gave it a second thought twenty years ago 
I am quite stressed by all this but hopefully the assessment will reassure me.
I don’t want to restrict my husband’s independence but after many years of A & E shifts and seeing the aftermath of accidents I am perhaps inclined to worry about the worst case scenario.
One day at a time 
This is just some food for to consider.
The things you have to remember is, his driving ability is ingrained to his long term memory. His physio and why she was there, is not! She’s in his short term memory and that’s the part that’s on the glitch.
Stroke minds are just preoccupied with other aspects of a conversation, leaving little mental space for the name. Names are just insignificant at this point in time. Distractions, further reduce focus on the name. Out of site out of mind. Names have to compete with other information and faces in memory, making recall challenging.
In saying all that, he may or may not recall the name of the gear stick or the name of a road. But he’ll know how to use the gear stick and how to get to that road.
If he’s ever going to get back into driving, he does need to be allowed time to sit in the drivers seat and familiarise himself with where everything is.
You should take him to quiet streets and cul-de-sacs first, then swap over and let him drive down them, the same as most learner drivers start out with. My hubby often did that with me to begin with, and I progressed to driving home again from there. The I’d drive to us to the shops and back until I was confident enough to go it alone. Even then it was only short journeys with not too much traffic, and gradually, over time, I started venturing a little further afield. And now I’m back to being everyone’s taxi service 
But I’m 63 and over 4yrs post stroke now and it’s taken me the best part of 2½yrs getting back into driving to where I am now. And I still don’t do motorways, but then I never did anyway 
And ask yourself: how much are you holding him back? Could this just be you being cautious, or overly protective like parent with their babies taking their first steps 
Maybe a few driving lessons in a dual controlled car is the way forward.
Lorraine
@EmeraldEyes thank you for your reply and I think you are absolutely right…it’s me being over protective most likely.
I do tend to be that way since his stroke and probably always was with my brood in reality.
Luckily we live in a rural area and I can use the method you and others suggest to begin on quiet roads and see how we go.
I do appreciate people’s thoughts because I want to see this from all sides and I occasionally feel a bit overwhelmed with the responsibility of being the carer. Timely reminders are invaluable. Thank you 
Fortunately for me I have been able to get back into driving and life is 95% how I was pre stroke. I didn’t get much advice regarding driving other than it needs to be at least one month post stroke, regardless of severity, before getting behind the wheel. I think this was because i was mobile very quickly and fully independent during my time in hospital. I voluntarily didn’t drive for nearly five months as i didn’t want the concern on my or my family’s minds. My focus was on better overall recovery. When i eventually did drive it was on our quiet estate roads with someone beside me, and only about half a mile to get a feel for things in case it threw up any unknown cognitive issues.
I can fully understand the frustration and desire to regain that freedom. Take all the advice from medical professionals, drivability etc. I would strongly recommend contacting your insurance provider after speaking to everyone to be sure they don’t have any specific requirements, that’s what
Very best wishes to you all and keep us posted on progress,.
Phil
I have sisters who would have fussed something rotten if they lived any closer to me, and that would have driven me up the wall. Because they would want to everything for me, and I mean everything.
The trouble with that is, the brain fatigue is our enemy with people like that, it’s like a double edged sword. It prevents you from overtaxing the brain during recovery, but it can so easily make you extremely lazy if you let it. So if you do everything for your husband or hold him back from doing things, if you are afraid for him that might fail. You run the risk of shattering what confidence and faith he has left in himself to get better, to try, to improve. So in the end you make a rod for your own back, you suffer greatly, you wind up running yourself ragged and your health suffers for it too.
His stroke has taken away enough of dignity, don’t let you take the rest.
You clearly love each other, your union is a partnership, 50/50, let him do his bit for you. It may never be as it was before, but his love still has a need and purpose in his life, and that is to love and care for you too, in any way his abilities allow 
You are still the purpose in his life, so let him drive you round that bend
Lorraine
@EssexPhil thank you for your insight.
I’m happy to hear that your own recovery was not too bad and experience and you waited until it felt right to get back behind the wheel.
I have spoken to the insurance company and they are fine with hubby driving unless a doctor tells him he mustn’t.
It’s me that’s concerned.
I’ll be ok if he passes the drivability assessment.
@EmeraldEyes , you have really got my measure Lorraine. I have been trying to do everything to conserve hubby,s small pot of energy and I am already feeling the consequences of that.
Rod for my own back
You will be happy to hear that we ventured out to a country show yesterday and hubby walked ( stumbled along ) for nearly an hour. We were able to make it back to the car … Just . I wasn’t sure we could make it but knew that there was a golf buggy to come to our rescue if necessary so we trundled on and collapsed once we made the car. Hubby felt pleased but was wiped out and has been very unsteady and sleeping most of today. It was roughish ground some of the time, grass and a bit rough going so he did do amazingly well.
It obviously gave him brain overload just taking those steps so I am not worrying today that he forgot his phonecall with grandson from last night and is certain no one showed him photos ( which we did ) and so we both had an easy day without stress today 
Progress !
The physio is bringing a Zimmer frame on Thursday but I can’t see it getting any use. I’m undecided about a four wheel rollator for outdoors…it would be safer and it would mean I was not being used as a stabiliser but would it become a permanent fixture, something there is disagreement about in the therapy team.
Heyho, on we go.
There is good and bad in zimmer frames/rollators/walking sticks, you can easily become too dependant on them; I’m sure they must slow down progress. You can’t achieve a full stride with a frame around you. Most people I’ve seen using have a very short stride and many resort to shuffling along. And they can’t be good for posture and stature with long term use, people tend to wind up with a stoop. So they can create other problems such as back, shoulder, arm/hand issues. These are all things to be discussed with the therapy team. It’s easier for the therapy team to hand him off with walking aids, than continue with therapy. And it gives them peace of mind because there’s always the risk of falls by going without, after all, he is 78.
I spent the first 6-8 months hanging on to my husband’s arm when out walking. And the next 6mths or so walking curb side to me so I didn’t stagger and wobble my way out into the road when I was walking free of my hubby’s support, at least until I could walk in a straight line again At home I cruised the walls, doors and furniture to get about, much like a baby learning to walk 
But there is no harm in having these types of aids to hand as a back up form of support.
He did very well out on that walk so very well done to him, keep it up 
I knew when I read about that walk that he’d be a bit of decompensation for a day or two after and that’s is all perfectly normal. Maybe a shorter walk tomorrow. I realised I had to reserve enough energy for the return, so don’t go as far next time. I always said you go just as far as it takes to get back home with enough energy to make a brew and my put feet up. Because you must always retain enough energy in reserve for emergencies. Go out on a full stomach and keep an energy bar in your back pocket for just in case of delays getting back Does he have any issue with balance?
Lorraine