I get it. I get that emergencies happen, the alarm sounds and more doctors and nurses than you can imagine appear from nowhere.
But yesterday there were no emergencies, just a complete lack of staff. Karen had a good morning, there was talk of putting her in a chair, removing the tracheostomy and weaning her off the ventilator, but then in the afternoon she began to struggle, her heart went haywire as her AF kicked in, and there wasn’t a single nurse anywhere.
Her station was empty, the one next to it was empty, the other side of ICU was empty and bar the 6-7 patients, I was the only person there. It felt very unsafe and I have noticed that some nurses, although they know their stuff, can be more casual than others and take breaks without seeming to ensure there is cover. Or so it seems.
Finally three nurses did appear and I had to speak with one to get him to see to Karen who was struggling mightily. And on top of that, if I have to mention to a nurse or doctor that Karen has sleep apnea one more time, I might scream. Nobody seems to take notes, nobody seems to listen and whilst I accept they do an amazing job, its exhausting repeating myself time after time after time when the next doctor says to me, ‘We didn’t know she had that. Does she have a machine?’… or, another favourite, “But she didn’t have that last night!”… I’m not making it up for the fun of it.
Sorry, I’ve not slept still, have eaten one ‘meal’ in 14 days and am very, very fed up…I can only hope tomorrow is a better day
It sounds like you are doing a great job of advocating for Karen in difficult circumstances, but I do hope you can find ways to sleep and eat properly soon. She’s going to need your support and you won’t be much use to her in a state of collapse. My best to you both.
I am sorry if what I am saying might come across as harsh, but @2Weevils you’re not helping yourself. Not eating for 14 days is just [fill in the blank]. Starving yourself and getting no sleep is not going to help you or your wife and if anything you are making things more difficult for yourself. I would suggest you need to take a day off to reset yourself.
Nurses and Staffing levels in hospitals
I appreciate these are not always great and maybe we have been “luckier” than some in that we have never experienced the same as you have just described i.e. total abandonment of the station. I believe this can happen in ICU whereby if one patient is in need of more urgent/life threatening help they will draw in extra staff, but that should not mean total abandonment.
Question for you.
Did you use the call button at the side of your wife’s bed to get help?
All beds are required to have a functioning call button which the patient or their carer can use to get help. Normally when you press that button either a nurse or a health care associate (HCA) will come over to help. This is fairly standard and one of the criteria used to measure the effectiveness of nursing. So in my experience whenever we have used the bell, we have had fairly quick response.
Also, if you are concerned and you see it as an emergency, there is a red button you can press and if you press that button everyone will come running in. I mean literally, they will come running in - in ICU, doctors and nurse and HCAs will surround the bed in less than a minute.
Of course, I must now add the obligatory disclaimer.
Diclaimer
This comment is based purely on real life personal experiences of the poster who in the role of carer has “been there and done that, but does not yet have the T-shirt”. This is a comment, not advice, recommendation or anything other than something that may or may not help the person it is being replied to or anyone curious enough to read it.
I take days off, i am currently on a day off… so to speak. I eat sandwiches but I am autistic so my eating is very off-kilter anyway when compared to ‘normal’ people.
As for sleep, I simply can’t and my doctor has prescribed sleeping tablets today, with the caveat that, given my mind, they will probably turn me into a zombie (as previous evidence shows they do, and which will lessen my ability to do anything much at all)
The positive i see is that you are there. My wife was with me in the hospital for 2 1/2 months in another city. I can think back to her time doing that and imagine how exhausted you are.
Thank you for reassuring me - I was getting a bit worried you weren’t looking after yourself but clearly you are doing your very best and more than that you cannot do.
You are probably more “normal” than you give yourself credit for. Carry on the wonderful stuff you are doing and my best wishes to you and your wife. It’s easy for me to say, but I have kind of been where you are at and so I will say it anyway, sometimes we have to let things happen because some things are beyond our control. For me this meant having faith, a belief that things happen, they happen for a reason and there is nothing we can do about it. Accepting that what has happened is now history and whilst we learn from it, we cannot change it and so we must look forward and think about how we might adapt to possible changes etc.
Sandwiches are terrific for grazing if skipping main meals.
Despite the sleeping pill hangover you get, sleeping pills are rarely prescribed, so you’ve been granted something even I can’t get but would benefit from some weeks.
Soon enough, hopefully, your partner will be back at home and all the hospital shenanigans will be a distant memory.
So how about this for a plan: The evening before your day off, prepare yourself with easy prep foods/your favourite treats for the next day. Plus have a good movie or video game for entertainment. Take the sleeping pill that night, get a good night’s sleep and be prepared for the zombie effect next day. Which is your day off anyway, so you don’t have to do much other than maybe go for a walk and eating your easy meals. By the next day that zombie effect should have worn off and you’ll be more back to normal. At least that way you are getting some good quality sleep and not neglecting your food consumption…because your body needs fuel to function both physically and emotionally
