Feeling low

Hi , my mum is 14 months post stroke now. It was a bad left sided stroke that has affected her speech and mobility. She still has no movement in her right arm and cannot stand for longer than about 5 minutes whilst holding on to kitchen worktop. Although her speech is getting better, she still gets things mixed up and her frustration is making her upset. She was so independent before the stroke so it is going to take a long time to come to terms with the way things are now. I do try encourage her by doing physio and exercises and speech therapy with her everyday. The therapists cannot come at the moment due to the virus. Mum has had a bad day today saying she is a failure and she is going to end up in a care home. It's really upset me to think she is thinking like this ?

Hi Tasha63, your post is very similar to the situation with our 81 year old Mum, who had a right sided stroke 11 weeks ago affecting her left side. She has limited mobility with the use of a frame but like your Mum..cannot stand for long periods, or use her left hand very well.

She was also independent before the stroke and it has hit her hard, thinking of all the things she cannot currently do for herself. We are the same with regards to lack of ongoing therapy, and like you - we are trying to get her to do as much physio as possible - but it's hard, as she is constantly fatigued...which we've learnt is very common post stroke.

She is finding it hard today as she has swallowing issues post stroke, meaning her diet is limited to foods which she doesn't really like. She also finds it frustrating that she has to rely on my Sister and I to assist her with a lot of things. She can become very anxious and down very quickly, which is hard for us to see and upsetting, as we cannot make things better for her.

But what we try and do is celebrate every achievement, however big or small..and constantly tell her how proud we are of all that she is doing. Whilst holding on to the hope that eventually..things will become easier. I think the up and down nature of stroke recovery is something that can be challenging and difficult to cope with, it's like being on a rollercoaster ride. We hold on so tight to those 'up' moments, where there is a glimmer of light and hope, and use them to get us through the not so great days.

Our Mum has achieved so much in a short space of time, even though she doesn't see it. She has been able to walk out to the kitchen, and the front porch and even gone up two steps of our stairs. These are the things we focus on when it all feels a bit hopeless. 

Take care


Hi Karen, I'm sorry to hear about your mum, it sounds like she is doing really well and in such a short space of time so you are right to stay positive. It really is a rollercoaster ride, I tell my mum everyday I am proud of her and how far she has come. It's been an emotional ride and I don't think the current lockdown has helped as we were enjoying things like going to watch shows and out socialising with friends which gave mum a sense of normality. I now think we have to take the rough with the smooth. Carry on encouraging your mum you're doing a marvellous job. Wishing you all the best.





Hi Tasha, yes I think you are right....the lockdown has had such a negative impact in all sorts of areas. Hopefully things will start to return to a little bit of normality now, so that you can get back to meeting up with friends and going out again. Take care, Karen


Thanks Karen fingers crossed I think we all need normality again.

Take care, Tasha

Hi Tasha, how are you and your Mum doing now..have you been able to get out at all ?

Take care, Karen


Hi Karen,


Thanks so much for asking and yes starting to get out a bit more now even if just to local shops and Costa coffee. How are you and your mum I hope she is doing well?

Hi Tasha - that's really good, glad to hear you've been able to get out. That's something we haven't managed to do yet, as it's difficult to know how to get Mum into the car...and we haven't yet practised with the wheelchair. She is at last receiving some physio a couple of times a week - but it really seems to knock her out, especially with the stroke fatigue and very heightened emotions. We're all very up and down, and have had lots of other things to deal with as well, like a leak in the bathroom, a leak in the roof, broken toilet handle...and the car not starting. It seems like it is all coming at once at the moment !! Hopefully things will start to get better soon. She has done remarkably well, and I forget that it is still very early days - not even five months yet.

Take care, Karen