Hi everyone, I had a stroke in early march, 1 week after my 30th birthday. Almost 8 weeks have passed and I feel so lost and hopeless. Everyday is different for me, some with extreme fatigue when doing nothing, others extreme paranoia and anxiety, others complete frustration and anger. My life has changed so much, I’m not working anymore, barely go outside and feel a general hopelessness for life. Any tips for recovering would be appreciated 
my left side and arm has no sensation or feeling, I have distorted taste and smell, struggle with balance, emotional and as I mentioned fatigue. How do I accept I’ve had a stroke and stop thinking the more I push my body and brain I will miraculously recover and be back to my old self, when my old self is gone 
Laura from Glasgow
Mention to your doctor or consultant that you are struggling.
What you are experiencing is what most people go through immediately after stroke.
Contact the Stroke Association who will help you with advice and can put you in touch with someone in a similar situation to yours.
Talking and communicating is excellent therapy.
You will discover you are not alone. Others are going through the same ups and downs. There is a way forward, you are still there and over time you will begin to make sense of it all.
Best wishes
for a brighter tomorrow.
Hi @Laura95
Welcome to the Online Community, I’m sorry to hear about your stroke and how your struggling at the moment.
I would suggest having a read through of some of our information we have on our webpage. You can read more about fatigue, anxiety, emotional changes and much more.
I would also encourage you, if you can, to get out to a support group. If there isn’t one in your area there are also lots of online groups and the Stroke Association run Online Activities which will help you meet people going through similar experiences.
I hope that you’ll also find this community helpful, there is a wealth of knowledge here so please do ask any questions that may arise for you and if you need anything whilst you’re using the Online Community, please don’t hesitate to tag me using the @ symbol and my username.
Wishing you well.
Anna
Hello Laura - Welcome to the community, where perhaps you will feel found 
What you are experiencing is likely not easy and with you being young it may even be harder to accept the new enforced state you find yourself in.
Acceptance might be a good starting point, then a review of what has happened, where you’re at and where you would like to be. Then you can start planning towards achieving your goal(s).
Like anything in life, it will not be straight forward, there will be ups and there will be downs. You may take two steps forward and then one step back. But this is not so unusual and happens in all walks of life and to all sorts of people.
If I may suggest, and it may not be relevant to you, try not to think of yourself as a stroke victim. Stroke has happened, and yes it is probably one of the worst things that can happen to anyone, but perhaps if you accept that it is another medical condition and there are things that you can do to help yourself to live with the condition and to improve the quality of your life.
Each of us react and cope in different ways and we have to find what works for us. Others can advise and suggest but ultimately it is for us to find what works for us and importantly what does not work for us. If something does not work, do not despair - ditch it and find something new.
There are so many different roads you can follow on the journey that is ahead of you. Your will make choices, some of which will be good and help, others less so. But remember, nothing you do is ever wrong as you always get something out of it and you will learn from it.
You can push your body and mind as much or as little as you want. The choice is yours. You can push a lot or push a little. Either way, your body and your mind will respond - you will get feedback. It is for you to use that feedback to decide what to do next. Do you want to push more or less? Do you want to stay on the road, or change direction?
You are here, now where do you want to go?
Namaste|
@Laura95 hi & welcome to the community. Sorry to hear about your stroke & your subsequent struggles.
First thing I would say is all that you are feeling is normal. You are very early days & have had a major event happen. That takes some understanding & getting your head around.
Secondly at this stage your brain needs plenty of rest so it can do its repair work. Pushing too hard will have the opposite affect to what you want. Instead of getting better quicker you’ll likely not progress because the brain will shut down when it has had enough.
Take it one step, one day at a time. Small goals. Don’t try & do everything at once. Recovery from a stroke takes months / yeara not days / weeks. learn to work with your hrain / body and the rest will follow.
Best wishes
Ann
Hi @Laura95 and welcome to the forum and you are certainly not alone here. 
But what a crap birthday present to give to yourself 
Oh I remember those feelings and experiences so well, just as I’ve no doubt everyone else does on here
But the good news is that it can and does get better! And you have the added bonus of time and youth on your side, so you can do a happy dance inside your head 
The brain loves positivity, believe me, it responds so much better to positive vibes 
One thing is for sure, there is no miraculous overnight fix!
The first 6mths is all about healing and mop up in the brain and getting what it can up and running again. And all the things you mention such as sensation or feeling, distorted taste and smell, struggle with balance, emotion, fatigue, they are all affected/impacted. And that in itself is fatiguing! Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean you haven’t done a full day’s hard graft. Because your brain has! It’s currently working double time because it still has to maintain all current functionality too. So it’s really working phenomenally hard and doesn’t take too kindly to being put like that, it’s no slacker I can assure
So yes, every day will be different! And recovery doesn’t stop at the 6mth mark, it just slows down a bit. It can be a bit of a rollercoaster ride at times, 2 steps forward, 1 step back. But progress is always being made, it’s just some of it you won’t necessarily notice because it’s all on the inside. And it takes years, not months, to recover what can be recovered.
You may not even realise this, or feel it, but you have just be through a major life threatening trauma. Your brain needs lots and lots of rest! Believe it or not but your brain is extremely grateful that you’re barely going out just now. Because it takes a huge amount of energy to do those repairs.
So for the moment the brain is only running the most vital of emergency services while it does that mop up and repair. It just can’t cope well with lots of activity, crowds, loud noise for at least the next 6mths. I’m afraid it’s going to be a very simple, quiet life for the time being, depending on the extent of your stroke damage. All activities should be kept to minimum, small bites. Even just being a passenger is a car if fatiguing; that’s because just looking out the window is taking in a lot of data for the brain to process. I bet just going to medical appointments or the dentist takes a lot out of you doesn’t it? That’s brain fatigue!
The best bit of advise I can offer for the time being is to not think beyond tomorrow. Just take it one day at a time! Don’t put your brain under any more pressure than it already has. It will thank you and reward you in time for your patience and consideration. And then you will be eternally grateful that you did 
I won’t lie, your old self and old life are gone! But this is a new chapter in the making for your new self and future. You had a stroke and lived. You have the rest of your life to live and celebrate
And you will do that! I’m 63yrs and 4yrs post stroke. I can drive, I can drive people round the bend, I attend fitness classes every other day, I can garden, I can party, cook, clean and do pretty much everything I want to do. I can still get fatigued but I believe I manage it very well. I can rabbit on and on here while I figure out how to stop long enough to give someone else a turn 
So I think I shut up now and I won’t take offence if you can only read my post in short bites, I to tend to pack a lot in
Lorraine
Each month the Stroke Association offer an online zoom call for young stroke survivors like yourself. Come along to that and meet us. It’s a really relaxed session where others can help you feel more comfortable with what has happened to you. I know it feels like you’re never going to be comfortable with it but these online activities were such a help for me and it does get better.
Hello @Laura95. Like others have said, accepting that life has changed and will not return to how it was is a short cut to preventing lost time and energy striving after something that can’t be.
That said, improvements will happen, they require energy, they will come from your persistent efforts to reach goals that are achievable but at the same time allowing yourself a realistic time frame that incorporates rest and recovery. Step by step. You are young and early in your recovery, the potential is bigger than you may know.
You have lived through a life changing event. This is not how your life was meant to plan out. Redefining your future is a big task but choose to take it on. Don’t be afraid of asking for help, friends, family, GP, Stroke Association, this forum, you do not need to do it alone.
Wishing you well, Julia
Thank you everyone for your help:hugs: how did you guys deal with the paranoia of having another one. I find even the slightest numbness or tingle on my good side or slight tightness in my chest, I’m thinking “I’m having another stroke” I find I think about death and dying for the majority of the day and feel I need to prepare myself mentally that I might die anyday now Laura
You cope by living in the here and now! Where/when at all possible don’t think or plan ahead, just live for today. Until such time that your brain is free to do more.
All you can do with invasive thoughts of having another stroke or dying, is to distract yourself from those thoughts. They are things you have absolutely no control over, and in the meantime you could be run over by a bus in the morning. That’s easy for me to say now, it was a lot harder to begin with, just like yourself. But with practice and as time goes on, it does get easier. And it will be a heck of a lot easier for you being so much younger than the likes of me at 63.
A good diet and exercise as best you can, along with keeping up with your medications is the best we all can do. 6 months now, a year from now it will get easier and easier again. Every time you have an invasive thought or a touch of anxiety or a bout of paranoia, immediately go and do something different to what you were doing when it came on. Wash up the dishes, read a book, put the telly on, go for a walk, rehab exercises, etc etc. Do something, anything to distract and to switch your current thought process. Make it a habit, it gets easier that way with practice 'til it becomes second nature. Even in bed, I tell myself stories or recap on books I’ve read.
Onwards and Upwards
Lorraine
The paranoia of having another one does get less over time. I think there will always be that worry but I don’t feel it anything like as strongly as I did in the beginning
Hi Laura, sorry to hear how you’re feeling. You’re going through the grieving process of losing your old self which is only natural. This site is great for connecting with people who are feeling the same way as you, you’re never alone.
I would recommend Elyse Newland’s videos on YouTube. She’s a stroke specialist and has a wealth of information and advice on how to recover from a stroke. I’m 9 months on from a significant stroke, am back to driving, working, yoga etc. The fatigue went away after 6 months for me but everyone recovers at a different pace.
Wishing you all the best.
Linda
@Laura95 the paranoia/ anxiety does lessen in time. I think we all felt like you initially and I still do from time to time now. As Emeraldeyes suggests when you find tuose thoughts creeping in distract yourself with something else. For me, i think I realised all those twinges, feeling rubbish etc generally tied in with fatigue & over doing things. Once I realised that, and that despite all those feelings nothing bad had happened I became less anxious.
Give yourself time.
Best wishes
Ann
Hi Laura
Reading your post is to go back in time to the aftermath of my own stroke at age 63 some 15 years ago.
I will pass to you some things that may help you.
What you are feeling is what all of us stroke survivors have been through,you are not alone and there will be plenty of help available to you both from health professionals and fellow survivors.
The road ahead is full of ups and downs you will have good days where you feel that you are not progressing ,but you will get through it.
Fatigue is common and you will learn to do things in short bursts and then rest.
Your body will re-learn balance-it might help to use a stick or be careful to use handrails,
Recovery takes time,and there is no instant switch,it is something that results from hundreds of tiny steps and improvements.
I wish you luck on your journey
Best wishes
Tony
Hi Laura,
I read your post and felt compelled to reply to you as your doing exactly what I did. Hi I’m Dan, I had an SAH (subarachnoid brain haemorrhage) in June 2019. My recovery was good to start with then about 8 months after I started to get issues. Fatigue, memory loss, balance and coordination issues and emotional problems. I was like a volcano 
ready to blow. I had no rehab etc as it was COVID. I’m 5 years on now and it’s totally changed my life. I lost my full time job, my marriage and my self worth…It left me questioning why I survived. Your younger than me and I can totally relate to how your feeling.
I’m also in recovery from addiction (20 years now) . ‘ACCEPTANCE’ of what has happened, how it’s left you and the issues you now have is the biggest hurdle. Even with my daily program I have, this was a sticking point for me. I didn’t want to be like this or accept it. I fought against it for 4 years. Tried various, vitamins, working out, memory exercises, counseling, meditation the list goes on. I was trying to fix the issues I had, be the old me. I was focused on what I lost and not grateful for what I still had and ungrateful for the fact I was still breathing…
The process for me was a tricky one as the system for support is so broken it’s ridiculous. I totally get where your coming from especially as your 30 it sucks big time. I wish I could give you answers or tell you my big turning point…but I can’t. It’s a process. My emotions changed too and I’m kind of emotionally numb to new feelings. I can connect to old but nothing new since the bleed. It will take time for you but to make the process easier for you acceptance is the key. I, like you, pushed myself to my limit and it made me worse… I 4 years on have been diagnosed with CFS/ME and a nervous system issue Central sensitization syndrome, but it’s still not helped with support financially from the government as I cannot work anymore. I try and push myself until my limit then crash and cannot recover…I just wanted to say you are not alone in how you feel and I’m happy to talk to you about it if you have questions etc…
You may not be the same anymore, but accepting how you are now will help with your recovery and mental well-being. Counseling helps and just talking to other survivors…
I wish you all the best. Big 
hug.
Daniel
Hi
You have had a big shock to your system with the Stroke so it’s only normal and natural that you will be having fearful thoughts and imaginings. You need time to get used to your new situation, which should in any case get better slowly as your brain sorts itself out.
As with any traumatic event, the memory and the fear become fainter with the passage of time and being fairly young, you can feel you have enough life ahead of you to recover at the necessary pace. Hopefully, you will get more of your normal life back as time goes on and discover your own strengths in the process, perhaps without even being aware you are improving or feeling better than you were.