Feeling emotional!


I am 7 weeks from having a stroke. I am 56 years old. I had to have an operation to removed the clot. It has left me with some coordination issues on my left side but these are getting better each day. I have been signed off by the therapists this week. I am waiting for my first out patients appointment. 

I am doing fairly well and hope to get the go ahead to get back to driving soon (but maybe this is a bit hopeful)

Sorry this is just s bit of background. My main problem at the moment is my emotions - they are really up and down. Being tired makes them worse. I have been given various strategies to deal with this and have been referred to mindmatter.

I was just wondering if anybody who is a little further long has any advice, anything that has worked for them and maybe some reassurance that it get better. Any suggestions welcome. Thanks

Dear Jane

i drove one month after stroke. But i know my abilities are poor, so i drive well within my limits. Five years on, i do not drive longer journeys, eg two hours, but the independence i get from driving short journeys is huge.

By the way, no one will tell you to drive. Your doctor will tell you he can not see any reason why you should not. Then it is your responsibilty to ensure you are fit to drive. Insurance compny didnt need to know and DVLA didnt want to know. Be careful what you say.

Emotionality is a major feature of strokes.very hard on us males, we dont cry, well i do now !

the emotions eased and after two years it was manageable. Five years and i still will not attend a funeral. Also struggle with a few TV programs. But most days are ok. Indeed most weeks are ok.

Many of us will get one good day then one bad. Its part of your recovery journey.

the fatigue is the worst bit. I am sure you need very good night sleep in order to get the fatigue down. I spent a long time getting my night time sleep. I now retire long before i used to. I ensure i get 7.5hrs each night. I changed mattress and, in the early months, i slept with a light on and moved to the spare bedroom.

i thought the after care in 2016 was atrocious. But what you guys are going through, ie during the pandemic, is another thing altogether. I am so sorry for you.

be positive, smile a lot, you are not alone


hi, i had a stroke in october 2018. i still get waves of emotion, more so when i'm tired. it's not as bad as the months after the stroke, but sometimes it can just hit you. i also suffer from depression since the stroke and have been see a psychologist to help me with stratagies when i am down or emotional and also to help me focus my concentration. the most effective one is a breathing excercise, breathe in through your nose for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4 and breathe out your nose for a count of 4, cross your hands over your stomach while you do this, so you can feel you are breathing into your stomach and not your chest. do this for a few minutes, i find it really helps calm me down. 

i drove after 2 months, i have to for work and to take the kids around. i found i was more aware driving than before,  but kept well within the limits on how i feel at the time. the dvla only wnat to know if you've had more than 1 stroke. 

good luck

Thanks ?

I have a large dose of emotionality. Its difficult for us males. Still cant face a funeral.

you are quite right. Much worsje if we are tired. I hadnt thought about that, but yes you are spot on.

i am having high BP and i was shown the four in, four hold and four exhale. Might be called the seal mothod ? But it works. And your added bit about hands across stomach is new to me, and helpful.

i drove after one month and the dvla didnt need/want to know. Nor did the insurance company. I dont drive much and have to think before i drive at all.

decades ago i went down with a bout of depression. I vowed to never go back to that dark place and when the stroke attacked me with depression, i could identify the attack i was ready and waiting to repel it. It attacked in the first weeks and attacked numerous times. It would delay recovery. Thank goodness i can swat it away.

it is so nice to hear from someone who has travelled the journey and is winning the race.

best wishes