Fatigue, Anxiety and Acceptance

Dear Nigel,

My mother recovered very well physically after her stroke. At 71, she was physically just as capable as anyone else, except for a little weakness in her affected hand. Her speech, memory, reflexes, balances, walking, hand usage, etc – all excellent. She had no pain from her stroke, either. It was amazing, but only for US.

She lost her emotional mind, and then rational mind over time. We tried everything to bring her back, but we couldn’t. Her apathy, OCD, insomnia, poor attention span, irrational emotions, etc. – we were just helpless in helping her. I still cry every day over it. They told us she had no dementia, and that it was from her stroke. It was said that she probably had post-stroke regression with some PTSD. Who knows?

So, when you talk about your mental health struggles, I relate very well because of my dear mother. She just couldn’t put the pieces of the puzzle back together. She lost her will to live, and didn’t care about anything but perhaps a ride in the car, or a random song, or a bite to eat. That was it! Her lovely home that she spent decades making as she wanted meant nothing to her in the second year after her stroke. She cared minimally about her appearance, when she was the total opposite before her stroke. Washing her hair and taking a proper bath required coaxing. It was just game over for her. I have no idea what to do. My father and I were just left in tears.

But, YOU don’t have to go down her route. You can get better mentally. I know you can! Just keep trying. Don’t give up, like my mother did.

Best of luck and take good care of yourself. It’s okay to not be okay. It really us. I have mental issues and I never had a stroke.



I’m so sorry to hear of your Mum’s challenges. It’s so difficult after a stroke, not only the physical side but also the emotional aspects. I’m fairly sure it’s a fine line between coping and not coping. It’s clearly not just the person who suffered the stroke who is affected, loved ones are as well but in a different way.

I am absolutely determined to improve my mental health, accept the ‘new me’ and hopefully my anxiety will improve and I’ll learn techniques to cope better. I have lots of support from family and friends - and I include the community on this forum in that, and it really helps.

Thank you for sharing your story and your thoughts.




Is apathy an issue for you? That’s what really brought my mother down to nothing.
Her OCD over temperature and going to the bathroom, as well as her poor attention span were also major problems for her. Do you have these issues as well?

Always tell yourself that you are NOT your stroke, even if it’s causing anguish for you in your mind. You can overcome and go beyond this suffering. Even if you’re never exactly the same again (we’re all changing every day, even though we don’t even know it), you can feel good mentally again. It’s not about being perfect.

Take good care.



Hi, yes apathy is a bit of an issue, in fact I was talking yesterday about it, and how it’s fairy easy to feel a bit trapped by your own mind, feel safe sat at home and be reluctant to go and do things - particularly with a stroke coming relatively soon after covid lockdowns when we were restricted in activity so much anyway. I’m trying to force myself to do more sometimes, then mostly realise I can do more and actually enjoy it! Of course then pacing myself is important as well due to the fatigue.

I don’t have OCD, I have a fairly good attention span but do struggle if there are multiple conversations going on, and can get a bit of sensory overload - I’ve been to the cinema a few times but haven’t yet tried a live concert or the theatre which I think might be a bit much.

Of course, just as everyone’s stroke is different, their recovery is different as well, but this forum really helps - reading other people’s experiences is so informative and together with family and friends I’ve come a long way in my recovery journey but have a bit further to go yet.