Every silver lining has a cloud?

Good evening everyone, I've not visited the site for a while, and have missed the friends and interaction.  We've been dealt another blow, and life has become topsy-turvy once again, just when it felt that things were improving post-stroke.  At the end of May my husband had extreme abdominal pain, and was admitted to hospital.  The following day, a CT scan showed that he had a stage IV Lymphoma in his small intestine.  Everything moved extremely quickly, and he has already had one session of chemotherapy, with the second due next week.  As many of you have experienced, whenever a person has any illness post-stroke, many stroke type symptoms seem to resurface.  That has definitely been the case for us.  I have noticed the cognitive deterioration as well as the physical wobbliness, necessitating the use of a walking stick, even around the house and garden.  Some months ago I made the decision to retire from teaching, so at least I will be able to help and support him through this process.  We're staying positive, and making plans for the future, hoping to be able to travel and do the things we'd planned for our retirement!!  Just have to slog through these next few tricky months.  

I will try to make more regular visits to the site, as I owe so many people such gratitude for the support I received from them at a time of need.  Wiahing you all a good w/end, and hoping that Roger Federer wins tomorrow!!  

Love Nic ?

So sorry to hear your news. 

Keeping my fingers crossed that your husband's health improves.

Sending you both special big hugs and asking my angel to work with yours ????xx

Really sorry to hear this. Your ability to stay positive is indeed an inspiration to us all.  Hoping things improve for you both. Take care x

Nic, our hearts go out to you and your husband. Your posts have always cheered me up and your positivity at this news is heartwarming. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Sending positive vibes your way,

Veronica and John ??

Dear Nic

I had noted your absence. I had hoped that you had taken a step back because things were improved and there has to be an end to the stroke journey. But no, its bitten you guys again.

Yes even the slightest illness magnifies stroke symptoms so goodness knows what a major illness does. I am a practising christian but i struggle with problems like yours/hubbies. 

Hope you watched the Federer Nadal match. It was good. And today, well how do you fit Wimbledon, the Britsih GP and Enhland cricket final all in one day ? AND we have visitors this afternoon. Visitors include a very decent tennis player (retired for now) so maybe I will have  a TV left on in the dining room for any who wish to drift away.

I am now off to watch the cricket, but my thoughts are with you two


So sorry to hear about your husband, the hospital seem to be moving quickly which I hope you find encouraging. 

My husband was diagnosed the same time as it was found I had had a stroke last year and following some surgery to remove the cancer was left with lymphodema in his leg. It was all a bit of a blur I don’t know how we both coped with us both being ill. He saw his consultant last week and it looks like it has returned on the other side so we are looking at more investigations starting next week.

So if you want to chat or let off steam we are all here for you, try to stay positive.

It’s good that you are both making plans, we have just returned from a lovely week in the Yorkshire dales, it was just the pick me up we both needed. Of course I worry about him all the time but try not to let him see it, not easy when you are emotional following the stroke.

Hope you’ve managed to see the tennis, it’s soo tense. Come on Roger !!!!


Hi Nic,

Just re-read your post and had a few thoughts.  When I used to work in a day unit giving chemotherapy a lot of patients complained of symptoms as you describe.  It's called 'chemo brain ' the science behind it is unclear.  It is often attributed to the toxic chemicals given as treatment, their actions killing cancer cells plus the side effects of the supporting medication.  Some steroids etc. It is usually temporary and once the medication stops the symptoms improve. 

As you will know it is important that your husband eats and drinks as well as he can during his treatment.


The same way he / you kept a stroke diary he should keep a chemo diary and discuss his symptoms etc with his doctor and nurses. 

Sorry for the long lecture but thought it might help ??



Hi Kay  -  funnily enough I started a chemo log, as I thought there might be things I'd need to record, and I knew that we wouldn't remember things unless they were somewhere in black and white!  I've done the same with temperature records, although the thermometer has a memory function, I've gone for the belt and braces approach.  We're already blaming chemo for any symptoms which are unexplained or unfamiliar - I'm all for the blame culture and it may as well be chemo that gets it!!  We've been told that most of the effects will wear off once the treatment comes to an end.  Fortunately he responds well to steroids, they really suit him, and keep him happy!!  I've learned to shave his head, which is quite hilarious - I thought about giving him some crop circles patterns, you know, just to look a bit funky!! 

Thank you for the advice, it's kind of you to reassure me, as this is all new territory ...

How are things for you - I hope things have improved at work, I know it was all a bit tense the last time I was on the site.  I really hope you are able to enjoy the job I know you loved doing.

? ?

Hi Nic,

Job on hold I have to prove myself again. 

Beginning to think retirement wouldn't be such a bad idea. Mike and I can survive on the money we would have and the quality of our life would be better.  Not going to rush into anything. 

Mike's been in hospital for the past three weeks with another ulcer on his foot.  Slowly improving Hooray!

I think you're coping brilliantly with your new challenges.  10 out of 10 for fast action on the temperature.  But don't forget the next cycle of treatment might be delayed to make sure your husband recovers from this lot. They may even reduce the dose of some of his medication.  Original doses worked out on height and weight not very scientific.  The doctor may do a percentage reduction to take into out for individual tolerance.  

Keep hanging in there and a sense of humor will help get you through. ??


Hi Kay

I'll send you a message through "My messages" as I don't want to hijack the stroke site for chemo chat, but would like to chat anyway!!

Nic xx


Hi Nic, Sorry to hear this news. I hope all goes well with him. As stroke recovery is fairly slow, I am not surprised that treating the lymphoma has had an effect on his post stroke progress. I have found that even being a little off colour has adverse effects. I am sure you will both face the current challenge with tenacity.

Once again, I hope all goes well.

Thanks so much John, I can't deny it's a real struggle at the moment.  Even the logistics of having a 45 minute drive to hospital takes it toll, and the fuel bills are horrendous!!!

Fortunately he has a good fighting spirit, and hopefully he hasn't used it all up on the stroke battles ?.  I just felt that I was getting to grips with trying to understand stroke, and now my learning curve has veered off to goodness knows where.

Best wishes to you, keep up with the cooking and bed-making, (I just can't make my bed without thinking of your funny anecdotes!!)


Dear NicAbela21,


I am so very sorry for what happened to your husband and you. I was a little worried when I did not see you online for a while, now I know why.

Please, please, keep positive and never lose hope, you both have conquered stroke, and you will conquer this too. I will pray for your husband's speedy recovery. 

Sorry to hear you have had double problems I hope recovery goes well. I was wondering about the willingness you mentioned. I have experienced this over last few days and wandered if this was normal.Had stroke 8 weeks ago.  Have tried drinking more and having more fruit in porridge and :-P seems to be okay so wondered why. I do walk round garden three or four that Times and do Tia chi in morning but ant seem to stop the wobble which didn't seem to be the problem before. I'd be interested in views.