Good morning Colin

thank you for calling my effort a poem.

I started writing poetry or trying to, last March, after they discovered a clot in my right lung and a septic clot on my portal vein.  As far as I know I hadn't had a stroke.  I had taken a couple of writing courses and in one of them we had tried poems.  Then I took a zoom poetry course just before my TIA and found to my horror quite a few of my fellow students were published poets. I take it as a sign that my brain is healing that i was right to request a change of blood thinners, now I have been able to write anything,  the stroke affected my right eye, I temporarily lost part of my sight,nbut the endarterectomy caused damage to brain and left hand as I had to have a shunt which meant stopping flow of blood to brain for a minute or two.  I think that plus the sheer horror of covid has meant that writing has given me a chance to get rid of negative feelings.


I am having another self pity party.  All are welcome to wallow with me.  I know there are others who are far worse off than I am but continuous infections are wearing me down.  Yet another lot of antibiotics for the chest infection the last lot didn't quite eradicate.  I would just like to feel better,  things have improved, my brain no longer feels like someone has tried to scramble it, my wrist and hand are working, my scar is invisible, almost, amongst my many chins and crinkly neck, I can walk a mile,I haven't got covid, I have survived the vaccine,so why am I moaning?  I ache, my knees feel like footballs, my head aches, it's a grey bitterly cold damp day and I am turning into a bitter old woman.  I can't seem to choose what plants to order, the more catalogues that thump through the letter box the more muddled I become.  I seem to be leaning towards Dahlias and begonias, plants that have never attracted me before.  I have always disliked their scent and harsh bright colours, maybe I should go for Busy Lizzie, nemesia, or good old buckets of F1 geraniums.  I know others are having to make far more life and death decisions but my garden has become my life saver, my little haven which does give pleasure to passers by.  Enough of my rambling I need to  pull up my Granny pants and get on with the day.  Apologies for boring you all. Tomorrow is another day and I will try to greet in a more positive frame of mind.  Marylin

Dear Marylin, I wonder if you know the answer to this one. I had the Astrazenica jab yesterday and felt very cold in the night. I managed to have a shower this morning. In the instructions for the jab it says to inform a doctor, pharmacist or nurse about other medication you are taking. I was asked about clopidogrel but not the other stroke medication I am on. Lanzoprazole to protect my stomach against the clopidogrel. Atorvastatin for chloresterol, Amlodipine for my blood pressure and Epilim for stroke induced epilepsy. It's the weekend and can only assume my notes say what I am on. I would happily join you party! Hilary


I think it's perfectly acceptable to host a pity party every now and then Marylin, especially with all of the madness that's going on in the world right now, adding to the health battles you have. Being positive all the time is exhausting and just not sustainable. So leave your granny pants round your ankles...and give yourself a day off. I'm inviting myself to the party...I'll bring the cheese and pineapple ! Oh...and you can't go wrong with geraniums !

Hi Marylin, I was planning to be the Saturday "Star Baker", so I can bring sausage rolls and shortbread biscuits to add to the party table.  Seems like we're going to be pretty busy partying the day away ?‍♀️??.  I've just slipped into a snowdrift as we were out walking, it was a fairly graceful event, I could feel myself slipping and decided to give in gracefully rather than fight it, whilst I was grounded I rolled around a bit and waved my legs in the air - I am the village idiot!!  Fortunately my husband was the only on-looker, and he managed to drag me into an upright position in spite of my giggling.  

Don't beat yourself up for having a gloomy day, it's just one thing after another, and it's bound to get you down.  I think we all want to feel the best we can be, regardless of underlying health issues, and when we're not able to achieve that, it's frustrating and grinds the spirit down ?.  

Can't really give much gardening advice (the deer have eaten loads of the shrubs we planted last year), but last year my husband over-ordered geraniums and begonias for a contract he was working on.  They aren't really my favourite things, (too labour intensive for a lazy lump like me!!), but I didn't want to see them shrivel up and die, so I planted them up and looked after them throughout the summer of 2020.  I surprised myself by how much they delighted me every morning as I stood in the kitchen making the early morning cuppa, so maybe take a chance on something you wouldn't normally choose, and it may surprise you?  

You definitely put the "f" in fiesty, so you will pull through this, now get those Granny pants off and put on your sparkly party pants, it's going to be a party to remember - yay!!   ? ? ? ?‍? ? ? 

Thankyou for making me smile, Nicabella, the older I get the more in slow motion I seem to fall, I know it is happening, can't to a damn thing about it but relax and crumple gracefully as possible. I face planted in the garden when I foolishly relied on a random cane for support, rear end high in the air. Had to call hubby for help to recover my dignity.  Tennis on tv helped to pass the day plus two lots of 6 nations rugby lifted the melancholy.  Did go for a walk clad in my driz-a-bone mask and hood, huffed and puffed my way round.  Couldn't have blown any houses down though, too short of breath.  No snow here, just wet and windy.  However the woodburner is doing a sterling job, Jack Russell laid out in front of it, it's warmth is a great comfort. Gardening decisions are deferred until another day. Marylin

Thank you you for your support Craftchick, leaving anything around my ankles could be an accident waiting to happen, but I will take a day off, I will eat the cheese, not a fan of pineapple.  You are probably right about the geraniums.  Marylin

Hi Hilary

they only want to know the blood thinners you are on for the vaccine.  In case you bleed from the injection site.  I had the Oxford jab too,felt rough for 2 - 3 days but paracetamol helped and it seemed to set my chest infection off too, hence two lots of antibiotics.  I too am on 2 statins and stomach protector as well as apixaban and aspirin.  Quite a cocktail to get down. I take most of them with porridge for breakfast, and hope they are doing me good.  I have yet to find out what caused my blood to produce clots, I tend to blame the long haul flight from NZ.  Still we are alive and surviving.  Marylin

Dear Marylin. Thank you for your reply. I felt better today. I hope you do too after your 'party' Hilary

Hi Hilary

Glad to hear you are improving, well done.  I am on yet another dose of antibiotics which don't seem particularly effective.  Time will tell.  Or maybe I am just hungover! Marylin

Sorry your antibiotics don't seem to be doing the trick. I benefited from having an extra fine needle due to blood thinners. I've suggested it for a phobia about needles on another group I'm on. Of course you could be hung over from your party. I hope you're better soon. Hilary