Hi @breck03 - Ann @Mrs5K has reminded me of something else that occurred to me and that is to say how is your wife coping with all this?
You mention your wife and I am pleased she has been supportive in what is potentially a very difficult situation. As I don’t know the extent of the challenges you faced post stroke, it is not easy to point to anything, but being a carer can be difficult and so has your wife had the support she needs?
What I am trying to say and possibly not very well, is that this might be more than just your stroke. Don’t forget relationships and marriages can go through rocky patches and all relationships have to be worked on.
As Ann says, speak to your GP but I would also suggest you think about your wife and see if she needs any help and maybe you can work on this together.
Also, please forgive us if we sometimes slip into silliness and get distracted and deviate from the main topic which in this case is your post and your cry for help. It is just one of those things that happens but hopefully, you are getting some help and will be able to move forward.
@Rups and @ManjiB , you two are certainly on one today aren’t you
And if me making an “Ass.” of myself has given you a laugh, then I’m all for making an “Ass.” of myself
Besides, I honestly couldn’t remember what the abbreviation was so I just went with Ass. Association is just such a long word to spell and type out when my stroke is tired and my fingers are going rigid. And @ManjiB you are getting to know me so well, and after 3 or 4 re-reads and post my reply, I can still find a mistake And I think the word you are looking for is, I’m pedantic in my writing. It comes from having a tyrant for and English teacher
. . . so I did a search and got this, which looks like it could be useful for those who have experienced the trauma of stroke.
After a couple of heart attacks twenty five years ago the hospital offered some very popular courses as after treatment. They included similar stuff to this, in particular mindfulness and treatment for PTSD and trauma. I found it very valuable and am exploring it today. My experience leads me to believe we could all benefit.
As far as I can see this can be free, free to use, free to access. It would likely useful to create peer support groups using its principles.
I would recommend exploring this as an important way forward for us all.
Firstly what you are experiencing is a common experience in the aftermath of a stroke.
It is easy to become frustrated and emotional over inability to do things.
Just bear in mind that your behaviour impacts on others who can find emotional outbursts disturbing.
I became conscious that I was swearing as a response and whilst this is ok when I am alone,I just swear silently when in company.
My experience 15 years down the line from my stroke in 2009 is that things do get better over time as you find ways to work around disabilities,take regular rest in between short periods of activity,and avoid doing things on brain fog days which will becomer fewer in time.
Good luck on your journey.
Tony
Hi Tony - With regards to behaviour and emotional outbursts, I am wondering how much in control a stroke survivor is of their mental and emotional outbursts. If the brain is trying to repair itself, is it not the case that some of the things that a stroke survivor does might not be as intended i.e. the brain just sends the wrong signal?
I say this because as carer I often see my Mum “say” and do things that I am sure she would not be doing intentionally if she had good control of her brain which is severely damaged by her stroke.
So in her case, whilst her behaviour is often very distressing for those around her (and I expect for her too) I don’t think right now she can help what is happening.
As you say with time (in your case a good 15 years) maybe you are better able to control your emotions and deal with the disabilities but early on, maybe it is a case of being able to alert others that your actions are not deliberate and not meant to offend.
In this case, I personally feel it is my responsibility as the non-stroke survivor to understand the difficulties my Mum is having and to try not to let that upset me and rather to try and sympathise with her.
I sometimes make comparisons of a stroke survivor brain with that of an autistic person in the sense when an autistic person swears or says rude things they are doing so unintentionally and in fact their brain is often that of very gifted people who can do amazing things.
Also, wrt
Why must you suffer in silence? If I hit a hammer on my finger I will respond by effing and blinding and not give a flying fig who is around to hear it - I am not cussing them and I am not doing it deliberately - it is a response (body’s natural response) to something not very pleasant happening to me.
This is just my thinking, maybe others feel differently, and that is perfectly OK .
I find cussing to be therapeutic, it raises the adrenaline levels and mutes pain signals. A few weeks ago, I went to the supermarket with £4.75 with the intention of buying my preferred stout. Now, my vision and brain are not synced, so I picked up the stout and waited in line at the check-out. I got to the end, had the stout scanned, counted out my £4.75 and then had a moment of stunned shock. £4.99 was displayed on the price screen. I went into a swearing frenzy at the price increase which only occurred that day. So much ridiculous John Cleese like cussing that the people in the queue behind me found it amusing, and the check-out operator was laughing too. He let me have it for £4.75.
That’s interesting, I to have recently been prescribed folic acid post blood test results, the first three days my balance was out of whack, but after that my instances of brain fog have decreased significantly
And has your balance started improving at all? I know mine did, I found I was was walking in a straighter line and so increased my confidence to keep my head up and look straight ahead and lengthen my stride a bit more too. Thus it sped up my walking so I could go a lot further as a result.
Certainly with brain fog in first 6 months post stroke, its always worth getting blood nutrient levels checked out to see what may be lacking that can cause symptoms such as brain fog, heavy legs etc. We tend to be off our food post stroke, and the brain’s healing and repairing burns a lot of nutrients, particularly the B nutrients, folic acid, iron and the like, they’re the brain’s fuel. So always worth getting them checked out.
Apart from the odd step to the side my balance hasn’t been too much of a problem, I have a B12 injection every 3 months anyway, but I may add iron tablets into my cocktail of drugs! Glad to hear things are improving. I must say since taking the Folic acid I’m thinking much clearer.
Jan
Be careful with iron supplements, they can soon make you severly constipated, particularly if you’re already on B12 injections. I would speak to your GP first. You should always let them know of any supplements anyway as they can interfere with some blood test results, potentially leading to inaccurate diagnoses.
Oh my, I thought it was just me. We do become very self absorbed because our lives and those around us have changed. It’s not our fault. The others are right, put your time in with your wife and others and help them in some way. Our poor partners really do help us and I for one forget just how much my wife does for me.
And I think the word you are looking for is, I’m pedantic in my writing. It comes from having a tyrant for and English teacher 
.