Hello all. Has anyone out there found anti depressants help with coping with life after stroke. I live alone and am considering moving to sheltered housing to have some people around me. Since making this decision I have become so depressed and anxious as I fear the upheaval…I am quite disabled on my left side and everything is hard work for me and my frame of my mind doesn’t help at all. I can’t seem to pull myself out of this black hole….i am so sick of myself but I can’t seem to make any effort to help myself. My friends help me a lot and are so good to me but even this doesn’t seem to lift my mood. My friends think anti depressants would help and I am asking if anyone out there has found them helpful at all?
9 Likes
Hi Janis-- I’m sorry that I can’t answer your question about anti-depressants as I have never tried them. But I know that making any big change in one’s life creates a lot of anxiety. When I moved from one house to another years ago I was very depressed about it, and it took me two years to feel like the new one was “home”. I’m like a plant that doesn’t transplant well. But I have been in this house, happily, for 50 years now. It has become home. I think you are right about the importance of having people around you. We all need people. And the extra help will make life easier. Even knowing these things doesn’t take away the normal anxiety (which can make us depressed) that we feel when we make a change. That makes you “normal”. Don’t get down on yourself for that. Whatever you do, there will always be things you like and some you don’t about the change. But you gradually adapt and get used to things given time. Ask your doctor if you need depressants. Either way, I think your depression may go away once you have made the change and done some adjusting to it. Best of luck to you. You’ll be in my prayers tonight. 
Jeanne
4 Likes
@janis Unfortunately I am not a believer in pill popping. I am stroke survivor, have had many down days, buy I lift myself out of it. Maybe Because i have looked after people with Mental heath issues for over 20 years. I also worked Samaritans for 5 years. You have to think about what is causing you to feel so down, I am not medically trained but would day its your stroke and you miss the person you were. Leave her behind as she is gone for good and reinvent yourself. Think of all the positives and NO negatives. Set yourself goals/targets and I don’t mean to put pressure on yourself, but to challenge yourself and if you do not make the target, its okay a it was only your target, set it again. baby steps and you will achieve more. This is only my opinion and many more will have different ones on here. You do what is best for you. Pill popping comes to an end and then how will you cope? I wish you good luck 
5 Likes
Hello Jeanne…thank you so much for that….your analogy about a plant is perfect….like a Japanese anemone…..i appreciate your taking the time to respond to me and I know you are right in all you say and I hope you have a lovely day 
4 Likes
Morning Janis,
I understand your feeling down times we all experience this and never more than after stroke - so it’s not uncommon. I can say they don’t last forever it’s probably part of a process of moving forward and adapting to new circumstances. Fears and feeling down can be very overwhelming as can the prospect of a move.
Having people about us is also very important it sounds like your moving will be a step forward and help - but you willnknow what is right for you and if it’s the right time.
Same with anti depressants I have no experience of these but I do know they can help a lot of people. Talking to your Dr and trying it cant do any harm - it hasn’t got to be forever maybe just a couple of weeks and see how it goes? Im sure there will be people here who know more than i do about this.
Do keep talking though Janis - we are all friends here. Personally ive had so much help from the online community so im sure advice will come from others who have more relevant experience than me. Keep well friend.
4 Likes
Hello Irene…yes all of this is true…I feel I have completely lost my identity….I cannot do all of the things I love any more…I can’t walk in the forest, look after my garden or my house, go to work, wear the clothes I loved, make my hair look nice, cook the food I enjoy and eat a meal properly with two hands, having a shower is an ordeal rather than a pleasure I have lost my freedom and independence and am having to make choices and changes that I don’t want to make. I am grieving my loss of life and am just existing and I don’t know how to stop feeling sorry for myself. I thank God for my amazing friends but I don’t seem to be able to find gratitude for what I have or accept what has happened, say goodbye to the old me and move forward as a disabled person. I too am against pill popping….for anything…I just feel desperate to change my mindset and don’t know how. Thank you for taking the time to answer me…it is helpful and much appreciated
5 Likes
I would strongly advise against setting goals and targets, as it sets you up for failure and unhappiness. We have no control over the healing process. Instead, be alert to improvements your body makes and enjoy the fact that it has made them. Healing from stroke can be a frustrating business and doesn’t follow a pattern, so don’t put any pressure on yourself; just acknowledge that your mind/body is trying its best and appreciate it for that.
4 Likes
@Janis Hi. I have bipolar and get very low though I have a husband but he is very deaf and does not talk. About sheltered housing we put ourselves on a waiting list for sheltered housing but the bungalows are very small. We have so much stuff I have doubts that even a year is not enough time to clear our current bungalow. May husband and myself have hundreds of books and DVD’s and my husband had a garage built. He has a large train set and he has hundreds of tools. We built a boat when we got married and he has a trailer. The lofts are full. I could rant on forever. My husband is 80 this year. I am 75. i try to live a day at a time and have had CBT for depression.
sorry about the rant.
3 Likes
to everyone and anyone and in particular to @Janis
I’m another believer that medication might throw everything out of focus but it doesn’t take away the problem.
I won’t tell you that there are ways to make everything wonderful but I’ll make one suggestion that has helped me.
You’ve probably noticed it has already worked for you too.
Getting it all written down and setting it out for all to see can help you begin to find a little relief.
You’ve already started that process by posting here.
Don’t tidy it up and pretend it will be okay.
Dig deep and be honest.
Tell the world how sh*tty, how frightening, how alone with it you are.
You need to scream, to rage, to cry.
Don’t be coy, let it all out.
Then, when you feel a bit better, take a look around.
You aren’t alone, you care, others care.
Look at how may responses this thread has attracted.
Somehow, together, we’ll find a way through, over, round, this big pile of nasty cr*p.
keep on keepin’ on
(and, yes, sometimes I do need to use those nasty swear words)
6 Likes
Hello jenny….yes..it’s all so overwhelming isn’t it and procrastinating doesn’t help at all which is what I am doing with regards to getting organised. Im sorry to hear things are so hard for you ….do you find CBT helps at all?….it is something else I have been considering. I hope today is a good day for you xxx
3 Likes
Yes Bobbi…you are right….sharing and receiving on here has uplifted me a bit…so thank you . I look forward to hear if anyone has views or could recommend a CBT therapist who works remotely xxxx
6 Likes
@Janis , I too am on anti-depressants but for different reasons. If your not sure that these pills are helping you, consult your GP. Another thing to try is “talking therapies”. Maybe they could help you.
4 Likes
I’ve never needed anti depressants myself but my hubby had for a time, work related stress and couldn’t sleep. They certainly got him through the roughest of times. Then he gradually weaned himself off them by chopping them into slivers for as and he had a beep. Now he’s retired he doesn’t really need them. And if he can’t sleep he just takes night kalms.
I think moving into sheltered accomodation would be a good move forward. The moving would certainly give you something to focus on with all that will entail. It will also give you peace of mind living there, more of sense of community and companionship as well as activity.
Your gp is going to be very reluctant to prescribe pills but that’s still your first port of call to getting you out of this depression. Go speak with them to see what they can do to help you to get out of this funk you are in.
And as @Bobbi has already said, talking on here, putting your thoughts and feelings down here does help. Especially in the night, because that tends to be the worst time for catastrophying. I was up many a night just talking my hubby through those dark times.
Lorraine
3 Likes
@Bobbi , hear hear. That’s how things are for me at the moment. I just want to scream at the world. For me, a song by Five Finger Death Punch called “I’m a little bit off” spring to mind for me. The lyrics sum up many peoples emotions and fears. A fair bit of swearing in the song but, it sort of echoes some of what you are saying in your thread.
4 Likes
@Janis Hi you have had contradictory advice re moving. Have you found a passible place? How long is the waiting list. You could go on the list and decide later that where you are is better. Funnily enough being with other people doesn’t always help. Try looking at the posts in cerebella club. Two people write about being alone. I had a look at my CBT book. There are different types of depression. Some are due to faulty thinking. You might find a book helps. Thanks for replying. This group helps me.
3 Likes
@Janis My CBT book is Change your Thinking with CBT by Dr Sarah Edelman and being on your it help to have a pet. Of course that is a problem if you move!
3 Likes
Thank you Jenny…will have a look at that xx
2 Likes
No. They did not resolve my depression. They only seemed to intensify my symptoms. They also had side effects i was not willing to deal with. So ive been labeled as having “treatment resistant depression “. They also tell me I have a “severe major depressive disorder.” Been like this for almost 5 years. However. “Everyone is different. “ Ever heard that? In reality, you may respond very well to “antis.” I say try everything you have access to, as long as you feel like it’s right for you. Me? Im fine, I’ve just been labeled. Labels eventually peel off.
3 Likes
I take SRRI meds for panic disorder, they do the job for me. I guess it depends on how you rate your low and emotional self. My partner recently started taking SRRI meds as a family situation was making her weep uncontrollably, the meds kicked that into touch.
Many people post stroke are prescribed Amitriptyline for insomnia, pain, migraines &c. That med is an antidepressant, but people prescribed that may not realise it. As a forewarning, getting on and getting off SRRI meds can be challenging, not for everyone but for some. If you feel it may be right for you then I would say broaden the discussion with your GP and others so that you can be sure it is what you want. Personally, I think best practice is to try other methods like Mindfullness, wellbeing exercises, CBT and DBT &c first. If that doesn’t work, then as Tim Minchin once quipped; You know what they call alternative medicine that’s been proved to work? Medicine. 
If you find the black dog is still at your heels, you might benefit from the SRRI route. Sometimes, if life is overwhelming and it prevents you from functioning as you would like, preventing you from even trying all of the above, then it may be the thing that turns all that around and you can taper off when you feel ready. Your circumstance seemingly is a trigger for your mindset, perhaps when that is all sorted, you may feel more mentally refreshed again.
5 Likes
Hi, Just a very quick word of advice . I cannot advice about the depression.
There are different types of help available in Sheltered Accommodation. Have you checked what the staff there will help you with because if you are finding managing day to day practicalities is getting you down / too much for you, then you might want to consider using Carers wherever you are.
If its just the being alone, that is too difficult/ depressing, then the Sheltered situation would bring you into proximity with more people but if you need help with housework or shopping etc you may still need to employ Carers . That would also give you more contact with people in a regular basis but does constrict your options of managing your time in your own way. Please check what the Sheltering situation you are looking into would offer, in some schemes they just check up on you and provide you with a panic button but do not provide practical help. And they are not obliged to do any more by law unless the terms of the Tenancy specify otherwise.
Hope you find a good solution and I don’t think you should rush into anything unless its really an urgent problem for you. The Stroke symptoms will not go away too fast wherever you are, but there is a security in being in Sheltered schemes.
5 Likes