My mum recently had a possible stroke/TIA assessment. I’m finding myself constantly watching her and worrying about every little change. Has anyone else experienced this anxiety as a family member, and how did you learn to cope?
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My family went through the same thing with me, though I was far too messed up with anxiety myself to notice. It’s a horrible time for everyone, and I wish that more attention was paid to the effects on carers and loved ones during a medical trauma like this. It’s a cliche, but it does usually get better with time. Your mum’s doctors should be putting the best meds and treatment in place, but ask questions to understand what’s happening and how they are helping. Ask questions here, as well - you have access to a community of people who have lived through this and will happily share what they’ve learned. Above all, you and your mum are not alone.
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Hello @Subbu1987 - nice to meet you and welcome to the forum.
Sorry you are feeling worried and anxious following your Mum’s possible stroke/TIA assessment. What you are feeling/experiencing is probably similar to most people would experience or feel when they find themselves in your situation. How this is dealt with, often depends on us as individuals and learning to cope is also an individual thing.
That said, there are things you can do to try to better understand what has happened and what you can/should do as a result. You can speak with the doctors/team looking after your Mum and there may be information leaflets or booklets in the hospital wards with information.
The Stroke Association website has much information and there are members who have been there and experienced these things and they are happy to share these things on here.
Here are a couple of links you may wish to read
Transient ischaemic attack (TIA) - NHS
Transient ischaemic attack (TIA) | Stroke Association
TIA diagnosis and treatment | Stroke Association
Caring for someone close to you | Stroke Association
Right now, your Mum is being assessed and once she has been assessed you will be in a better place to know what to do next. For now, she is being cared for and I would suggest there is not much to worry about because she is not alone with no one there for her.
Wishing you all the best.
Namaste|
Jim
Hi @Subbu1987 and welcome to the community. Sorry to hear that you’re feeling so anxious after your mum’s stroke assessment.
What you are experiencing is a normal reaction & in time it will ease. You have to learn to cope & how you do that is different for everyone. There will be times when you have to leave her and not watch over her and when you get back and realise that nothing bad has happened that will hopefully help put your mind at ease a little. People experience many changes post stroke but they don’t all mean anything bad is happening. Have they put your mum on meds? If so, you have to trust that these are doing their job & lowering the risk of anything else happening.
I see ManjiB has shared a lot of links with you. Have a look at them. You could also ring the Stroke Association helpline 0303 3033 100 and talk to them about how you are feeling. They might be able to offer some useful tips & advice.
Look after yourself too.
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Thank you so much @ManjiB . . She is assessed and now carrying on with medication for next 20 days. they told she had a mild stroke near back of her brain but it only impacted her speech. so it is mild. They gave list of tablets to continue for next 20 days. Thank you so much for the links. I am able to understand more on the medication now. I hope my worry will be bit ease in time. I need to look for different coping mechanisms. 
-- Laxmi
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Thank you @harimanjaro . I hope it get better with time 
. I have this worry of watching her 24/7 and assess each and everything as a new symptom and worrying so much which impacts other members of the family but I really don’t know how to stop myself from doing this.
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Hi @Mrs5K , Thank you. As she had high BP and High diabetes, they have increased her Metformin dosage, her cholestrol dosage and added
| Aspirin |
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| Clopidogrel |
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| Lansoprazole |
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| Atorvastatin |
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| Amlodipine |
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The aspirin and Clopidogrel are to reduce the risk of a second stroke. Prescribed together they are called Dual Anti Platelet Therapy or DAPT. The aspirin will probably be discontinued eventually as it can do some pretty bad things to the stomach long term. The Lansoprazole is for gastroprotection so that stops when the aspirin does. Then, in addition to her diabetes meds she’ll be on a classic combination of Clopidogrel, a statin and BP meds, like so many of the members here. For me, knowing how my meds are working to protect me has been a big help in getting me back to a “normal” state of mind.
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Hello Laxmi - I hope you will find a coping mechanism that works for you
It’s good that your Mum has been assessed and a treatment plan put into place. Hopefully the doctors have explained everything and you have a good idea as to what to expect and look out for over the next 20 days after which I guess there may be some sort of review?
I am not sure if you are a natural worrier or whether this is as a result of what happened to your Mum. I note your Mum had high BP and is diabetic and wonder if you have been looking after her and if so you had noticed changes that are causing you to worry.
You mention other members of the family and say your behaviour impacts them. This can sometimes happen if we have differences of opinion or thoughts on what might be best for our loved one. If you are sharing caring responsibilities then this should hopefully make things easier as you are able to share the work load. In this situation, you should try to let the others do their caring rather than worrying 24/7. It might be an idea for you to detach yourself when you are not “on duty”. It is important for you to get some rest and for you to carry on with your life as best as you can. The converse might also happen and might be worsened if the others are “hands-off” but still wanting to voice opinions or even be critical of the care being given. It can be hard but we have to try to be willing to just take an extra moment before reacting or responding.
Whilst I fully endorse you looking out for new symptoms, I would suggest it is best not to stress over them. By all means assess it and unless it is something of concern, keep an eye on it. Also, you wouldn’t want your Mum to get upset by seeing you getting stressed which she might do.
If you are troubled by these things, maybe it is an idea to talk about these things with other members of your family and see how they are dealing with it.
One thing you might want to try to help you is making time for yourself when you relax for half an hour or so and reflect on what is happening. You can try mindfulness and breathing exercises as well as journaling. Just write down things that are on your mind in a diary or notebook. Listen to music or go for a walk.
Wishing you success in finding a coping mechanism.
I have just seen the message from @harimanjaro and would like to say I wholly concur with what he says. We know from bitter experience, asprin long term is not a good thing. Sadly for us, no one was monitoring this and at the time we were ignorant of the problems described by Paul (harimanjaro).
If possible, at the 20 day review find out if the asprin and lansoprazole (asprin’s buddy drug) can be discontinued. Also, find out how long other drugs should be used or when they can be discontinued. I should point out, not all drugs can be discontinued (without some risk) but whether you go on drugs or not is a personal choice a patient makes. In general, we (Mum) refused drugs whenever she could.
What I am saying here, is purely based on how I have dealt with situations that have arisen whilst caring for my Mum and I have to say I am very lucky to have had the support from my sisters, one who has been an absolute rock. And we have had our moments and our relationships have been tested to the hilt at times, but we came through in the end, as we always remembered that the bottom line was and is “It’s what Mum wants, or would want that matters”. And if at all Mum is involved in the discussions/decision making, all the better.
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