Confused forgetful tired /

Three days back home .One fall ,three cup drops and breakages and forever checking plugs ,lights etc. and just tired. I was feeling upbeat but now im not . Im anxious about the slightest thing and just cant believe this is me now . I forget im doing things and that worries me . Is this the norm for recovery or am i just a panic merchant ? Tony 

Hi Tony - Yes, it's fairly normal in the early days. The only thing that I would get checked out is your fall unless you know what caused it i.e., tripped over something.  Dropping things is to be expected as most strokes affect grip and feeling of numbness in the hands and fingers but it does get better with practice and doing the exercises which I hope you were given to do by the hospital? If not, there are lots of different exercises you can do at home. For example, try picking up cocktail sticks using only your affected hand and transfer them to another container. I used tops off deodrant/hairspray. Do the same with small beads of different textures and shapes to get the dexterity back. The best one is to try touching the tip of each finger with the tip of your thumb with your affected hand and then try doing it both hands at the same time. As you practice, you will find you can do it faster and faster. Another one is to  fill  a plastic jug with cold water and try to pick it up with your affected hand and pour it into another jug and then back again. Keep going till you get fed up!  

I lost all the feeling in my left arm and hand and it is now almost back to normal. I still get a little bit of numbness in my little finger which is where my stroke started but it doesn't really bother me.

I'm 2 and a half years post stroke and I still go round every night and check and double check everything.  It's habitual even though my husband has done it! I guess it's just your brain checking itself whilst it's busy re-wiring.  In the first 3 months, your brain is working flat out to re-route itself down other pathways which used to be done by your brain before it was damaged by the stroke. All this gives you chronic fatigue which is your brain telling you to rest. Always listen to your brain... if you ignore it when you feel tired, it will shut you down itself and this takes days to recover!  Hang on in there - life does improve but sadly not as quick as we all wish it would :( 

Dear Tony

Slow down !

Every time you take a step, especially turning, consider where you will be if you fall. Hang on to anything. Walk with a handy broom or whatever you think sensible.

One breakage is inevitable. I got my wifes favourite Harrods mug with the first dropage. Use a small tray or whatever you need to keep the items safe. 

Anxiety is one of the many common delights of a stroke. Dont panic. In time you can use relaxation techniques but in the meantime be cool.

The memory change is a so and so. Try to work out whether its your natural self that is forgetting or is it the stroke damage ? I am old so I expect forgetfullness. But I  can tell which is old age and which is stroke. 

Do one thing at a time. Do not think about the second task until you have fully finished the first.

Things improve. It just takes a hundred times longer than you imagined. And the improvement is so slow you dont notice.

But you will get back a quality of life. You will not get back the Tony of pre stroke, you get a new model instead. 

Please stay positive. Think of all the things you can do. Do not dwell on the things you can not do (yet).

Be positive and smile.

Smile at what you dropped, where you stumbled, what you forgot and whilst you are smiling, work out what you could do better.

Best wishes




Tony,this is all natural, but, as my friends have already said.....slow down. In my first months out of hospital I broke things, had several falls and terrible fatigue. I was also a bit paranoid about checking doors were locked and it took me several weeks before I dared venture outdoors. Things will improve, but it's a bumpy road and a slow one. Good luck on your journey. Stay strong and remain positive.

Hi thanks for response . I appreciate your advice and will try to use the points you mention. I dont know why today has been this way. I guess because of the stroke i really need to build a new me. I started to write this about half hour or so ago and went to check kettle plug and forgot haha. Anyway the fall I had was getting out of bed . I think my brain forgot to tell my body ive had a stroke and down I went . Sore bottom and head but no lasting damage .....maybe.! . Thanks again . Tony 

Hi John ,thanks for your kind and positive response .Im gratefull to have so many genuine people on this site who are helping me cope .Best wishes to you John ..Tony

An idea or two.

I had a stroke whilst asleep, so i have bad memories of getting out of bed and finding my limbs didnt work. Plus the anxiety that we get thinking another stroke would bite.

So for two or three years, as soon as I awoke, i flexed all ten digits. Thats not a bad idea. Stops rushing out of bed.

Next is my yogi suggesting that we should raise our arms and smile, before getting up. She reckons this improves your attitude to the day. Takes a few seconds. Cant do any harm. And reduces the chances of crashing out of bed.

Now I also need a very substantial grab rail, because I still have considerable pain in many muscles, but thats just me. And I am working on getting rid of said pains. 

In the early days I did get giddy spells. Again I just smile at them and take immense care not to fall. A couple of times I had dizzy spells, so sat down and still fell over. Big smiles and the dizzies will edge away.

Just think of all those poor souls going to work today. Wet, cold, windy and probably transport thats diabolical. And we can stay in the warm and watch TV/play with our cat/music/ anything else we might fancy.




Hi Tony,

I think it's only natural that you feel anxious. A stroke happens without warning in most cases so it is only to be expected that your anxiety levels are raised in case it happens again and because you're finding it hard to recall things. Now that you are on medication eg for blood pressure and cholesterol you're at less risk of it happening again.

The constant checking you've locked up and checking plugs is something we've all done I'm sure, I still do it before I go out sometimes more than once depending on the time of day - I'm always worst in the morning. I have short term memory loss as a result of the stroke. 
When I first had the stroke (nearly 2 years ago) I  didn't know what day or date it was which I found very frustrating so a few months ago I bought a Casio digital watch which displays the day and date as well as the time, it's solved that problem for me.

I also tend to write things down, such as times I take paracetamol if I have a headache because I won't remember a couple of hours later.

However things do get better as time goes on, you just have to be patient and find little ways to remember things or remind you to do things. There are lots of us on here who will share their tips with you. It's very early days for you but it will get easier, just try to be patient with yourself. 
Hope this helps.


I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has responded to my posts .Its really comforting to know im not alone. I have a loving and caring circle of family and friends who are fantastic people. The difference is all you people here know from your own experiences my anxious and lonely feelings . I now know im not alone .Thanks to all from your friend Tony 

Hi Tony

Welcome, yes it is all fairly normal and you are doing well to be on here and posting so soon!  As others have said your brain has started to heal itself which takes time and is tiring.  Be kind to yourself, yes it is tiring, and I suspect most of us were anxious at first but it does get better with time and practice.


Think you've summed it up well Tony. Most of us have loving and caring people around us but other stroke survivors know what you're going through. 

It's initially hard to accept what's happened but it will get better with time. 

Tony, this morning I remembered a bit of my behaviour when I first came home. Once I could sleep upstairs again, I would wake in the night and think I could hear people talking in the room downstairs underneath me. Logic told me that this was impossible as I had checked all the doors were locked and there was no reason anyone should be there. However, the post stroke brain behaves oddly. After hearing this conversation in the early hours of the morning, I decided to go downstairs and investigate. I was very wobbly back then, but somehow got down there and...nothing! All was quiet and silent.

Eventually,this delusion vanished, but I still react to odd noises occasionally. On another note, in my early post stroke days I found strength and balance classes helped. I built on those to go to exercise classes for active seniors. I now go to three classes a week. Yesterday, two of the ladies I exercise with, commented on how much I have improve since I first started and pointed out things I do now that I couldn't do then.

My chief advice, is that I cannot emphasise enough how slow progress is after a stroke. You have to work a lot to achieve a little and sometimes you cannot even see that 'little' yourself until it is pointed out to you. I was told not to use a stick indoors and,nearly on, I had to use walls and furniture to keep me steady enough on my feet to get from a to b. I still do occasionally. If I get up in the night I always put the light on. In the morning I take time before I get up and stand by my bed. This is to ensure I have connected my brain to my weak leg. All great fun, but at least the falls are fewer and confined to indoors. PS, one night I had a drop of too much scotch (and I do not drink a lot). Next minute I was staring at the bottom of the sofa. Fortunately, I have been told how to get up from a fall.

Hi Joan , thanks for the welcome. I just realised reading your post that i am doing well being able to post so soon. Ive just noticed that i can speak easily enough as long as its in writing. Ive also realised that i can type with my left hand too lol. This realisation thanks to you has given me a spring in my step this morning { not literally lol } Thanks again  Tony

JSCAPM , thanks for reply and for your encouragement . Keep up the good fight .Tony

Hi Tony - Good, I am pleased to have helped in some small way.  I took the view that anything I was struggling with meant I had lost a 'pathway' in my brain and they say that those pathways can be rebuilt by the brain and that starts very soon after the stroke.  I did all sorts of things to rebuild those pathways and really do feel that most of them are sorted now that I am 9 months post stroke.  Some were quite silly like not being able to slip my foot into my shoe without using my hands for assistance and some were a bit more complicated.  Basically I just kept on trying to do things that were tricky and with a bit of practice I got there.  I think everybody's stroke is different, as is the damage done, but don't give up, it takes time but it is possble.


Hi Tony, the contributors to this site helped me more than I can say, in the weeks, months and two and half years since my husband's stroke.  We were both clueless, so this site really helped me, and in turn I was able to put things in perspective for my husband, so that he knew the things he was experiencing were very common post-stroke events, and not unique to him.  So ... it might be useful for your friends and family to use the site, so that they can feel informed about stroke, and will be able to support you better.  It's such a complex thing to try to piece together, and loving friends and family who are also well-informed will be invaluable.  I'm so pleased that you have this ?.

Keep strong ?