i have asked the hosp, i was in for my appendix removal op for help at home. i have cried ever since as i am so independant but i know i am not managing. they start tomorrow.


Good luck & don’t worry about asking for help. You have done the right thing to ask. We all know you would rather do things yourself but if you can’t then it is absolutely the right call to ask for help.

Hopefully at some point you will be in a position to say you can cope on your own but until then take whatever help you can get.

Please don’t feel bad about it, you’ve had a tough time and should get the help you need.

I hope it all goes well and helps you to improve.


thank you mark. i cried reading it. i have no friends or family to ask for help, brothers busy with their families and parents too old


It is easy for me to say do this do that when I have a live in carer.
She is so much more than that but she does make it easy to forget how dependent I am.

I am disabled, making efforts to do things for myself but not able to do so much of what was my lot before the stroke. I try not to dwell on my short-comings, but still try to do what I can.

I am lucky in this respect, but I do get help. I really would be in a mess without it.

In this country there is no need to struggle with your disabiliy. You must recognise that you need support and don’t be shy about making sure you get it.

Hold your head up high and do your best. People on this Forum do care. We do our best to stand for one another. We all have a place here living in a world that has something to offer us.

You know how I waffle on, so I’ll save you from any more ear bending.

Smile for me and please be kind to yourself.

Keep on keepin’ on
:smile: :+1:


Morning @a.clare71. The most important thing here is that you have the ability to recognise that you need help as upsetting as that is for you. This is not giving up, but working with what you need for now. Accepting the hand of help is a bitter pill but the fact it exists to allow us to live and move forwards. Wishing you strength to get through this, Julia x


@a.clare71 sending you hugs. It is difficult admitting you need help but you’ve taken that furst big step & done it. It doesn’t need to be forever & as you progress you’ll be able to reduce / remove that need.

It is hard wnough coping when you have someone to help. I can’t imagine how difficult it is trying to manage without that. I still gate being dependent on others for some things but accepting the help has got easier in time. I’m sure it will for you too.

Remember we’re all here if you need a virtual hug.

Take care.

Ann xx

A friend has recently employed a carer via a care agency. I’m sure she, a formerly independent woman, has her struggles with the idea, but she has made the best of it and is enjoying the company and learning about the carer’s homeland (she is not from the UK) and teaching her about the UK. They are both, via the internet, informing me , via the general chat we have. We are all interdependent really and I hope that your operation went well and that any care arrangement does too.