Can't even say goodbye

I dont really know where to start...

My nan had a fall last week, she broke her hip and was taken to hospital. They operated the day after and she made alot of progress within the 24 hours post op.

Then the day after she had a stroke....shes had little strokes before but I was told this was major.

She has been on the stroke unit for 7 days now and hasn't made any improvement. The word they keep saying is unresponsive. My uncle is the only person speaking to the hospital doctors and he doesnt really tell me much apart from she is having pallative care and if she doesnt improve by the end of this week they will stop all medication.

I just want to say goodbye, its eating me up inside that I cant hold her hand. No visitors whatsoever (covid-19) and my uncle has put asked that family members arent told anything only him by the hospital. 

Has anybody ever been in a situation where this has happened before but progress was made after the first 3 days after stroke?

I'm hoping and praying that my nan will make it but my uncle keeps saying she wont. I cant sit here day after day waiting for that phone call to say shes passed

I hate her being alone and I know the guilt I will feel if she dies alone will eat away at me forever.

I'm sorry I just dont know where to turn....


Hi, I'm so sorry to read about what has happened to your Nan, and the situation you now find yourself in. This virus has made awful situations so much worse, for so many people. And if you are only getting limited information then that must make it so much harder for you. Try to stay hopeful and positive, and know that the nurses will be taking good care of her. 

Dear Kirst7

So very sorry to hear of the sadness that surrounds you at the moment.

Being unable to visit a very ill relative is yet another part of this awful new world that we live in post corona.

You can "visit" Nan with your thoughts. 

I think that things will take their course no matter how much or how little information is being passed to you. If Nan is going to survive, then that is what will happen. If the stroke is truly massive then maybe it is kinder if she continues to sleep peacefully. 

I have come across a close relative who did exactly what your uncle has done. In my case it was the uncle who just couldnt deal with the tradegy and so he closed off from all information. I was livid when I found out what was going on, but at the end of it all, nature took its course.

I probably havent written a word that you dont know already. JUst that many of us are thinking of Nan at this time.

I have recently been hospitalized for 11 days. Once I just accepted that I could not have any visitors then it wasnt too bad. The staff were very very good and went a long way to making up for the absence of friends and family.